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I am working as a Tech Lead for a team. We have a Architect who has joined in our team recently. Some how I have noticed his working style, communication style is different. Because of this most of the times we are unable to see each other points, perspectives. This is happening more frequently and causing some troubles to working together. Below is one incident I have recently come across.

We had a meeting on requirements with business analyst team. I have noted down my notes, questions . He also did the same. After the meeting I have sent my notes and questions to him to merge and publish. I got reply immediately by saying that all my points are not valid or not in valid format. And he published only his notes. After I read carefully, I figured out that most of my notes are covered in his notes. But he has written and presented in different format. Then I noticed that some of them are missed. So I have reformatted as much I can and send those back to him to publish. Then again I have got mail immediately saying that "I am not able to follow your mail" and then he set up meeting. After having 15 mins discussion we understand each other and came on same page.

The above is one of the incident. But these kind of things are happening more frequently. It is always hard to understand each other and hard to be on same page. It takes some good amount of effort on both of us to make our selves on same page.

With the stringent dead lines it is not always possible to setup meetings. How can we understand better and make our selves same page always?

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    Either you learn how to read his notes or he learns how to read yours. – Vietnhi Phuvan Jan 20 '15 at 22:23
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    At first it sounded like he was being a bit of a ***, but then he set up a meeting and you both got on the same page. That's great and perhaps the more it happens the more you will eventually merge onto the same wavelength. Looks like it's going okay so far... – James Jan 21 '15 at 9:57
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Maybe I'm missing something, but it sounds like you're communicating fairly well.

When you're in a meeting where a lot of complex information is being conveyed, it's not uncommon for different people to walk away with different ideas and perspectives on what was decided. That's why it's important to follow up and ensure that your understanding meshes with the understanding of the other key people in the room. You're doing this and it seems to be working. The back-and-forth nature of the process may be frustrating, but it's important that you reach a consensus eventually and you're getting there.

Over time, you will get more familiar with his communications style and vice versa. The problem will probably get better rather than worse. Hang in there, don't take it personally, and be glad that you are able to come to a mutual understanding.

  • If the other person is claiming Babu's points are not valid, then the communication is more confrontational than cooperative. There is definitely room to improve. – Eric Jan 20 '15 at 23:57
  • Agreed - if the architect is being confrontational. It's difficult to see whether this is the case the way the original post is written. I'm not sure if OP means "all of my points are not valid" or "not all of my points are valid", which would be entirely reasonable. – Roger Jan 21 '15 at 0:52
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A few thoughts come to mind....

  1. You said he joined the team recently. Could these be temporary issues of adjusting to each others' style? Work to gain insight into why he did things his way and understand the though process a bit.

  2. How about 5 minutes of face time before and/or after meetings, setting clear objectives and next steps?

  3. Ask colleagues what you can do to improve your communication with the architect, regardless of who you would like to blame.

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I got reply immediately by saying that all my points are not valid or not in valid format. And he published only his notes. After I read carefully, I figured out that most of my notes are covered in his notes.

This sounds like a miscommunication between you and your colleague. I suggest that at the end of the meeting or very soon after, compare the notes that you took and what he wrote, paying particular attention to any duplications or omissions as you wrote in your question. Try to come to a agreement on the format the notes should be in prior to having the notes being merged. It would be in your interest to have the the agreement in written form such as email. This is to protect yourself as well as ensure common understanding of expectations.

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