How can I break the ice to my present employer about a job offer from one of our competitors?

The company I work for is like family in fact my best friends spouse is the president who I need to talk to about this.

I feel they haven't treated my value with respect. There has been two employees they hired after me that they are paying more wages for the same job I'm doing.

  • 3
    Are you sure there's nothing in your employment agreement/contract about working for a competitor. This is usually known as a Non-Compete clause, and is often upheld in court if the former employer wants to enforce it.
    – Kent A.
    Commented Apr 6, 2015 at 0:08
  • 2
    @KentAnderson actually non competes are hard to enforce even where they are legal regardless of what the contract says - even more so for junior employees.
    – Pepone
    Commented Apr 6, 2015 at 0:27
  • 1
    Clearly they do not treat you as friends.
    – Jack
    Commented Apr 6, 2015 at 0:58
  • 2
    If there is no non-compete agreement, why do you have any obligation to tell them why you are resigning? Just hand in your resignation, serve your notice period, and get going.
    – Masked Man
    Commented Apr 6, 2015 at 13:46
  • 1
    Is there anything your company can do to make you stay, or are you for certain going to accept the offer?
    – David K
    Commented Apr 6, 2015 at 14:05

2 Answers 2


Your colleagues are not treating you as family. They are running a business and set compensations accordingly. Be professional, run a business talk about business. Take the best offer for yourself and your family, find a place where you are valued.

On the personal side : Are you sure the family feeling is mutual? Or is it just you who still sees this as family? Are you sure it is not better to break the bonds even if it hurts now? It usually is, I've seen countless examples.

  • "Morover they are unfair as business people." Care to elaborate on that statement? The question, as worded, does not seem to indicate this. There are numerous reasons for wage differences in similar positions.
    – Celos
    Commented Apr 6, 2015 at 13:34
  • @celos you are right I made a judgement, that was subjective, I deleted it.
    – takacsmark
    Commented Apr 6, 2015 at 13:46
  • The question is about how to break the news to his employer, not whether he should accept the other job. I agree with your statements. Commented Apr 6, 2015 at 16:00

Sometimes the "family" dynamic works out well and sometimes it doesn't. In your case it doesn't. You obviously can't talk to your boss about a regrading or raise. It could possibly have to do with not wanting to cause tension in the family.

The best thing to do would move out. I would just be honest and say that you got a better job with more pay at the competitor. You really liked working for them and hope your paths cross again. Maybe they will but the dynamic won't permanently change unless you leave.

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