I don't mean to be hurt, but I am. I'm a female who works in IT so aside from myself, it is almost entirely men all the time. I have never worked directly next to another female in any of my roles.
This is entirely outside of work and is a new thing: it is not well established and hasn't been going on long at all. There's a "boys only" group of guys who get together to meet at a bar and watch sports. The person who started it is a manager and he didn't invite everyone - just "his friends" - about 8-12 people who work in the same, closely related teams. I like sports too and would like to go.
Apparently, a rule to the gatherings is that no women are invited. This guy used to be my manager but recently I've moved under someone else but we all still work closely. I approached him about it to see if I could go to and he said guys only and it's just his friends here at work. He suggested I do a women's only group with the only three other females even relatively close to my position, whom I don't know and haven't actually worked with. That does not interest me.
Should I take this personally? The "boys only" rule really only excludes me, as the other three women wouldn't be interested in going anyway. Do I even have any grounds to care because this is outside of work? It is discussed during work but not too openly. I do not know if they discuss work at these gatherings.
Should I be concerned about the effect of this gathering on my workplace and career? If so, what should I do about it?