Thanks for taking the time to potentially help me here. Even if you're not a web designer/developer I think you might be able to offer some advice. I used to work at an ad agency as a webmaster, but they didn't appreciate the importance of their web team. They undercharged for web services and had more web work then they could handle, so myself and my co-workers were overworked and underpaid. A lot of us quit around the same time.
Anywho my main issue is that it feels like it's me versus them. They don't get the work involved, that certain requests take more time than others, and just how frustrating and disabling the hack really was. My manager (not someone who knows web dev at all) tried to convince me that it was OK to launch a hacked site! I upright refused! That was the first time we almost got into an argument. I feel like I'm speaking French and their expectations are out of touch with reality. Or maybe it's me? Maybe it's because I'm inexperienced here? This is my first major site launch. Things take me longer to figure out than someone who has had years of experience in WordPress and PHP.
I'm used to being part of a team where there was always someone who knew more than me, or the same as me, who could provide another set of eyes on my coding problems. But here I'm alone with people who I don't think get it. It feels like I'm freelancing even though I'm a full-time employee, there's no buffer between me and them to smooth/translate communications. I try to be assertive and nice. They pay me, at the end of the day it's their website. But they hired me for this, if they knew how to code I wouldn't be here. Yet it feels like they don't trust my design or dev instincts.
On the upside I will say this: they are understanding to an extent. A lot of this could be pressure I am placing on myself. Still, it is very frustrating and stressful that this all falls on me. They keep adding things to the punch list - things I need to do before launch in 15 days! I just put my foot down and said we can not add any more to this list, everything can wait until round 2. I explained this again and again but I think I actually have to just tell them no now. It feels strange having to do that when they are the ones paying me.
My immediate boss is super cool. But he has asked things of me I don't think he should have. I told him I've reached my knowledge limit on xyz and after exhaustively researching the issue I can't fix it. He told me to ask my friends? They don't work here! I don't mind asking them for advice every now and again, but for solving specific development problems they should get paid as consultants, right? He also recommends super unhelpful things because he doesn't know code. Like, "refresh your cache." I know dude, I did that already! Then I have to explain what I've done, KNOWING he doesn't know what I'm talking about. So I wonder if I should even bother explaining these things?
I've never been the only web person before. I really miss being in a team. But... on the other hand, maybe I'm learning this isn't for me? I've had one dev internship I really enjoyed, one terribly demanding design internship, then the company I explained in paragraph one who didn't appreciate the web team, and now this. I have taken on three freelance projects recently and I don't even want to look at them. They are easy compared to what I'm doing now, but my full-time job has felt so stressful I can't even imagine coming home and continuing the same work.
Again I think a lot of the stress is that I am not an expert in what the job requires. But I'm in too deep to bail now. I've only been here 3 months. I at least need to see the site through to launch. But what does this sound like to you? How should I expect to be treated? Generally I am a shy and nice person. I'm not afraid of confrontation, but if I have to confront/stand up for myself, it stresses me out to the point where I'm nauseous 24/7.
UGH any advice would be appreciated. I'm doubting everything right now... my own abilities, my willingness to get better, whether or not I'm being treated fairly... and even if web dev is the right career for me. It's possible I haven't found the right company yet... but I'm going to be 28 in a few months! When will my career be more solid?
OK so if you made it this far thank you! Here are my questions listed out, given my novella of context above:
- Am I right in feeling like too much is being asked of me?
- Did I make a mistake taking on a job where I wasn't an expert?
- Are all web jobs this stressful? Is it possible this isn't the career for me or should I keep trucking?
- Should I bail after this site launch?