NB: The question of asking for feedback when none has been given has been posed. My question is about getting written feedback when oral feedback already has been given.

I was recently rejected after having gone through every interview round (of which there were 7). The firm was insistent that they deliver the rejection orally (in my case via Skype), along with feedback from the process. They were so insistent, that they actually tried to contact me on a Friday, but left me hanging until the end of Monday to deliver the news and feedback.

Problematically, my memory for their feedback points is understandably hazy. I emailed them asking if they wouldn't mind sending me their feedback notes, to which they replied that they couldn't.

Why would this be? They were willing and insistent on having this discussion with me, why would they be so unwilling to give me the bullet points that guided it?

  • I'm sincerely interested in their feedback, but can't really remember the specifics. Commented Jun 10, 2015 at 11:33
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    They gave you the feedback. You weren't paying attention. Your problem. Nobody owes you anything. ESPECIALLY a fishing expedition into their notes. They didn't have to give you feedback in the first place. If you want to ask about something specific that you're hazy about, make a request SPECIFICALLY for that information. Right now, every minute they spend interacting with you is a minute that they could and should spend on something else. Like taking care of their workflow. Commented Jun 10, 2015 at 11:35
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    Whatever they give you in writing is much easier to use in an anti-discrimination lawsuit against them.
    – neo
    Commented Jun 10, 2015 at 12:00
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    @VietnhiPhuvan, it's not a simple matter of "not paying attention", it's a difference in how some people absorb & process information. Some people are better able to process written information than spoken.
    – alroc
    Commented Jun 10, 2015 at 12:45
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    @VietnhiPhuvan Not everyone's brain works the exact same way yours does. Some people (myself included) process & internalize information very differently when it comes via speech than visually (written text). It's not as simple as you seem to think it is. It's a difference in how our brains are wired and it's not easy (or sometimes, not even possible) to consciously override that after 30-plus years.
    – alroc
    Commented Jun 11, 2015 at 11:17

1 Answer 1


Why would this be? They were willing and insistent on having this discussion with me, why would they be so unwilling to give me the bullet points that guided it?

The short answer is that they put themselves at risk to be sued for discrimination. Anything in writing is a smoking gun for these types of things. You are lucky you got feedback at all.

Since you asked for something written and they said no, I would not contact them again. Any potential for you to get a job there in the future will be diminished.

Use this as a lesson for next time you get bad news, focus on what they are saying. Don't focus on the rejection (I'm assuming this was why things are hazy) until later.

  • While this is good advice, it does not actually address the question. Commented Jun 10, 2015 at 14:13
  • @MurphyDanger thank you, you are correct. I've updated my answer. Commented Jun 10, 2015 at 14:17
  • I also prefer written feedback to remind myself. So, after the meeting if any feedback is given, I make myself a note for future reference
    – Brandin
    Commented Jun 10, 2015 at 21:22
  • In many states, by giving this information verbally over a phone call, you cannot record the audio of the call without violating wiretapping laws (assuming you do not first disclose you will be recording), making such 'evidence' inadmissible in a potential future discrimination lawsuit. This is frankly a good policy - listen closely to what they say and don't sue people providing helpful feedback to you.
    – Panky
    Commented Oct 18, 2023 at 21:42

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