At my most recent employer, I have experienced quite a few instances in which my coworkers gave me feedback for which I disagree or expressed sentiments about the way I work in a blunt, brusque manner. My work was in IT audit, and I when have to discuss with coworkers about an observation as part of peer QA / review, I tend to be straight, and not mince words, in exact the same manner as your coworkers. Being fluffy with words or sugar coating things is not who I am.
What I have found works for me is the following:
- Feedback / criticism is valid
In this instance, I first remain calm. Rushing to respond in a defensive manner is not fruitful and will hurt my reputation. Next I try to validate what they are saying:
"Thank you for the feedback, what you said is helpful and
I will try to incorporate your suggestions into my work going forward."
- Feedback is invalid, not helpful or irrelevant
In this instance, I would still them thank them for their feedback. However, I would point out why their suggestion is not applicable, such as
This internal control deviance might not seem material but still needs
to be documented, because not doing so risks us an unfavorable audit
You can still be diligent about your work, but view the feedback as an opportunity to improve your work, rather than a personal attack about how you work.
Dont discount harsh, but what may be true criticism, simply because the manner is harsh. A thicker skin cant hurt. Also, in my opinion, the expectations of your colleagues are Not unreasonable at least in my culture of the USA. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. However, having to walk on eggshells does interfere with work
Different people have different styles to working that works for them and reasonable colleagues should be able to understand. Separating the messenger from message itself is an important skill, particularly when the message may be distasteful, as I surmise in this instance.