How do I get my coworkers to not touch my computer screen?

Question

It bothers me when a coworker who is talking with me at my desk reaches out and stabs a finger into the screen, leaving fingerprints/skin oil (sometimes repeatedly and lingeringly rolling that finger around for emphasis). You can't see the marks, maybe, but later, as the sun moves into the right position, what seemed invisible becomes a slew of very visible scattered smudges making my monitor look all dirty and hard to read.

I've said up to at least two times each to different people who were touching my screen something like (trying to be mild in tone and phrasing), "I'd rather you not touch the screen" or "please don't touch the screen", and the person always says "oh, sorry". But the next week, there comes someone doing it again.

I thought about having screen cleaning materials out and very obviously cleaning the screen where they've been touching immediately after they do it, but I'm worried that is too passive-aggressive an approach.

I thought about trying to sit in my chair in a way that blocks the person from reaching the screen, but that's not workable the way I have a straight desk open on the sides.

I considered just consistently asking the person each and every time to not touch the screen, but I don't want to be offensive. I also tend to come across about 2 or 3 notches more upset or angry than I really am, and people tend to notice this and react unless I really make an effort to be mild—but this leaves me usually saying nothing. I'm concerned people will go tell stories to others about me freaking out about my screen. (Whether or not I do freak out or my reaction is more than they think it should be, it seems a simple problem that is solvable, I just don't know how. I think it's reasonable to want people to avoid dirtying/marring, even if temporarily, the work tools assigned for my use.)

Besides not having these conversations at my desk (we could go to a conference room or to the other person's desk where I for sure will not be touching their screen), or putting up some kind of physical blockade, what are some strategies I can use to be tactful, mild, yet effective?

Note: I shouldn't have asked this question at work because someone came by, saw what I was posting before I could switch to another tab, and deliberately dragged his finger across my screen to bait me. Sigh. Anyway, here's the question.

I just thought of getting a small pointing device, something like the stylus for a tablet. I could attach it to the monitor with a small piece of adhesive Velcro. What do you think about, when someone starts touching the screen, to hand this to them and ask them to point with it?

Photos added for reference.

Answer 1

Hand them a laser pen.

I had this issue.

I started handing a laser pen to anyone who wanted to show me something on my screen. People would readily grab it and use it to show me things they wanted to show—laser pens are fancy, and you rarely have any legit use for them in offices apart from presentations. After a while, I just left the pen by my side. When people came around they quickly reached for the pen to show me what they wanted to show, without even needing instructions.

Answer 2

You have to ask yourself two questions—"what do I really want?" and "will I really get it?"

You can certainly push very hard on the "don't touch my monitor" angle, from cleaning the screen when ever someone touches it, to putting up a sign. The question is, what will you get out of that? As you've noted, it will probably come off as passive aggressive.

So then, ask yourself if having your coworkers not touch your screen is more important than having a good working relationship. I snore. It drives my wife crazy. Yet she loves me a lot and has decided putting up with my snoring is worth the great relationship we have (17 years and going strong).

I would also especially note that given we are moving more and more to a touch screen society it is very likely you're fighting a losing battle.

My advice is to keep the cleaning wipes handy and when you are alone, clean your monitor. Your relationships with your coworkers is worth the extra screen cleanings.

Answer 3

If you're worried that they will be mad at your for asking them to change their ways, you have to take a big breath and either put up with the smears (which do appear to bother you more than most people) or put up with them thinking you're weird for caring.

You can try to minimize the extent to which they will be mad by apologizing and by framing it as being your oddity. For example:

Hey! Don't touch my screen!

Is an order, a demand, and is all about them (with a little ownership thrown in).

In contrast

Sorry, it makes me crazy when people touch my screen, can I ask you please just to point without touching?

Is a request, acknowledges that they couldn't have known, is about you and asking them to accommodate your difference, and offers an alternative (always better than just "don't X.")

Signs are useful only in the absence of the sign-writer. Since I doubt people are stopping by to touch your screen when you're away, you don't need them. Deep sighing and conspicuous screen cleaning will make people feel bad, but if you're distracted by a smudge someone left, go ahead and clean it the moment you notice it, even if that's the moment the person left it. And practice asking repeatedly (with the sorry from time to time, with the explanation from time to time, with the please every time) that they don't do that.

Finally, model this behaviour yourself. Don't touch other people's screens. Demonstrate that it's possible to discuss code without leaving smudges. And if your coworkers care more than you do about chairs or whiteboard markers or putting garbage in someone else's garbage can or whatever, be super cool and understanding about that. Work towards having an office that cares about each other, foibles and all, and wouldn't find it funny to deliberately upset a coworker by doing something you know they don't like.

Answer 4

You can't see the marks, maybe, but later, as the sun moves into the right position, what seemed invisible becomes a slew of very visible scattered smudges making my monitor look all dirty and hard to read.

[...]

I thought about having screen cleaning materials out and very obviously cleaning the screen where they've been touching immediately after they do it, but I'm worried that is too passive-aggressive an approach.

The easiest is just to have cleaning materials in your drawer and clean the glass on a daily basis. No need to tell anyone you're cleaning it. Your objective should just to get the glass clean. Period.

After all, you don't curse at the wind or the rain when your car gets dirty. You just do the best you can to keep your car clean, and once in a while your car gets dirty despite your best efforts, so you take it to the car wash. This is the same thing here.

Touching a screen is very often an unconscious gesture. Re-programming your fellow colleagues so that they no longer touch your screen 100% of the time is quite unfeasible. I know this because my own desktop screen is a touchscreen and every time my colleagues touch the screen (every time, not remembering that it's a touchscreen), their accidental touch steals the focus away from the current line and it usually messes up our ongoing conversation (and yet, they keep on doing it because it's just an automatic gesture for them).

The most you could do is place an additional shading/privacy screen on top of the existing screen, so that only the shading screen gets touched, and not the glass itself.

But any real solution would have to include some form of letting go on your part. And for that, I'd recommend you start watching youtube videos and listening to audiobooks made by Byron Katie. That's what her entire methodology is ultimately about, letting go.

Answer 5

You can't see the marks, maybe, but later, as the sun moves into the right position, what seemed invisible becomes a slew of very visible scattered smudges making my monitor look all dirty and hard to read.

I have a different point of view here. It sounds like lighting ergonomics are a significant factor in your problem. You should never have screen glare or the sun reflecting off your screen!

I don't know what country you are from, but surely there are laws governing ergonomics in the workplace. Blinds on the windows, anti-glare screen covers, lighting requirements etc.

If you can solve the screen glare issue so that the sun doesn't reflect off the screen, then you won't care any more about people touching your monitor and you can better get on with your work. Talk to your supervisor.

Answer 6

You don't. Your next question would be how do keep people from throwing their trash away in my trash can. Then how can I keep pens from getting stolen on my desk. Then how can I keep people from borrowing my chair when I am not there. This is in essence like the cleaning crew at my company standing next to the glass entry door asking people to only touch the handle.

These are the dangers of going to a workplace. If these things truly bother you then be prepared to be bothered. You don't put signs on things, ask people, or anything else.

You have several pieces of advice here. Please do not say anything to anyone or proactively try to keep these things from happening. There is a good chance they will take you for something in between an OCD loon and someone who doesn't like them/people. You may feel better about saying something to John and he may never touch your screen again. But he also may never think of you the same again. It just isn't worth it.

So deal with it. Don't pull out the wipes while they are there, don't sigh, don't do passive aggressive mind games, just chill.

Answer 7

Hand them the mouse.

The mouse pointer is designed to point to things at the screen. On a regular basis I hand the mouse over to colleagues standing by my desk. Not as much to prevent them from touching the screen, but because the "now click here" leads to misinterpretation. If you do that with a smooth gesture when they start pointing to your screen, they will quickly grab the mouse.

For me it is specifically efficient because I am left-handed, use the mouse on right-handed setting, and, due to my position in the office, people will generally be on my left-hand side.

Answer 8

Preface

I am the OP. Since the time I asked this question almost five years ago, I have made huge strides in creating more positive interactions with other people.

Other than the considerable personal investment I've made in this area, one thing that's been truly instrumental in accelerating that growth has been the book Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended On It by Chris Voss. This book simply cannot be recommended too highly—without exaggeration, it truly has been life-changing. Note that the audio book is far superior to the printed book, precisely because you can't get the tonality and feel of the "late-night FM deejay voice" from reading words on a page. The printed book has value, especially as a companion, but if you can only get one of them, get the audio book.

How I Would Handle This Today

Note that I've moved on from the company where I worked when I asked this question, and I don't really have problems any more with people touching my screen (or at least, didn't really have them before WFH for the last four months solid due to Covid-19).

Personally

• The first thing that would be different in how I would handle this today is simply that I would approach it with a much higher confidence level, and thus a much more relaxed position. It's clear in reading my own OP that while my heart was in a good place, just how desperately I wanted to get along with people and avoid offending them made me almost paralyzingly afraid of doing so. There are good reasons behind why my life brought me to such a state, but no need to go into that. Suffice it to say that I'm discovering how higher confidence results in handling issues in a much more low-key way.

• It is much less a concern to me now to avoid offending people—and paradoxically, this gives me much greater power to be less offensive, because I don't project the same level of anxiety, intensity, and emotional attachment that I used to. Those things were self-defeating, communicated low status, and implicitly broadcast that I was the one with a problem. Humans seem to naturally employ a heuristic that treats lack of confidence as lack of competence. This is not true, but it created much more negative results than I had ever been aware of.

• It was my perception in the past that I was plenty assertive, but it came to my attention that in fact I was not—I had mistaken aggressiveness for assertiveness. I was afraid, then aggressive, then would fight. Those are not productive. It seems to me now that true assertiveness comes from very quietly, calmly, and confidently stating one's own truth, without fighting yet without wavering, and then accepting all consequences that arise from it. There was an important learning experience where I stood up to someone bullying me using very respectful yet limit-setting words that I had received direct coaching on from a higher-up. That person ended up getting fired (for far more than what was going on with me) and I learned that my past terror about being fired had been a large part of creating the negative dynamics I was experiencing. Being confident that I can find a great job at a hundred companies that would love to have me—or a thousand, even—makes such a difference.

Techniques From Never Split The Difference

Here are the practical ways I would handle this situation today, of a coworker touching my screen in an unwanted way.

1. Label myself with the worst possible label. But in a very low key and non-upset way, like I almost don't care if the person responds positively.

   I'm sure I'm being rude and a total freakazoid by asking this...

2. Ask a question where the person will say "no" to give me what I want, instead of "yes"

   ... but would you find it a huge imposition if I ask you to use this pointer to gesture to my screen, instead of touching it?

3. Some small explanation is okay (this part is not out of the book):

   It distracts me, and bugs me for some reason, to see fingerprints on the screen.

4. If the person reacts negatively, like my former coworker who reached out to drag his finger across my screen when he saw my post title, this can still be addressed productively. The following should be delivered very low key, with full confident acceptance of all possible consequences, knowing that the person could be offended but correctly assigning that problem as that person's responsibility. Say "it sounds," "it looks," or "it seems," and then label the person's actions somewhat negatively (just not offensively):

   It sounds like you've given up on getting along with me at work.

   Your goal is to sound puzzled, curious, like you're drawing out someone you like and trust. You aren't angry. You're skillfully and confidently stating a true observation—it is a fact that this is what it seems like to you. If the person says "no, that's not true, why would you say that?" your response is "I didn't say it was that way—it just seemed/sounded/looked like that."

These may sound strange. They may sound like they won't work. But I have been using these techniques (and others from the book!) and have been getting quite unreasonable positive results (at least, according to my past expectations for the outcomes of such conflict).

Encouragement

Check out the book. Whatever you think of my possibly poor representation of the author's techniques, it's at least worth taking a look further!

I'm confident that I could handle this situation much more productively than I would have five years ago. And I wouldn't be so worried, both about people's negative reactions, or about them continuing to touch my screen. I'll be okay no matter what the outcome.

Answer 9

Make a small, colorful sign that says "PLEASE DONT TOUCH MY SCREEN." Include some clip art of a fingerprint. Attach the sign to the frame of your monitor in a conspicuous spot. There you go.

Answer 10

Perhaps I'm misunderstanding the question, but I'm surprised that no one has suggested an anti-dust, anti-fingerprint screen protector?

While some are unsightly, there are plenty of good options out there.

And if you get the unsightly kind that are like a shell, you can just put them up when people come by and take them down after they have left.

This being said, I do agree to a certain extent that you should maybe also learn to let it go a little bit.

I suggest this because it is often easier to change ourselves than to change others.

Not to pass judgement on you, but to save you future headaches when and if similar things occur on future occasions.

Disclaimer: I do not work for screen protector companies of any sort nor do I have any vested interest in any of them. Just thought to bring it up.

Answer 11

Keep a cloth by your screen and wipe their fingerprints off when they are finished. They will see you doing it and realize that they are creating extra work for you.

It's a little passive-aggressive but also a nice way to gently make people aware of what they are doing.

Answer 12

Install a surge protector with a large, silent switch underneath your desk with only your monitor plugged into it. When your co-worker touches your screen, stealthily turn off the monitor with your foot. Now pretend that your monitor always breaks when it is touched, but it can be easily fixed if they'll just wait a moment. Now spend a few minutes wiggling it around to "try" to fix it. Don't act frustrated, but silently focus on resolving this new problem while ignoring their presence. Draw this act out for as long as is necessary until the co-worker becomes uncomfortable or impatient. When they seem ready to leave, sneakily switch your monitor back on with your foot.

Do this as many times as is needed until this person decides to alter their behavior. Most will remember the problem they caused and will not want to see that happen a second time. If someone keeps doing it, you can safely assume that they are a sociopath, in which case you may want to consider putting a thin layer of petroleum jelly on your screen for the next time when they come by. If they touch the screen and ask about the slimy substance, tell them that you are sorry, but have had a hard time keeping enough tissues on hand.

If you're going to be passive aggressive, you must make an art form of it.

Answer 13

If I were you I'd be putting a "Please Wash Your Hands" sign in the bathroom or something! I've been trying to reproduce your oily fingerprint problem after reading this post, and no matter what angle I look at it relative to the sun & the lights I can't see any mark on it...

It may be seen as a bit overly sensitive to complain about people touching your screen... it risks inviting gossip. It may be a lot easier to position yourself so the sun is never glaring off your screen as Jimbo said in another post.

Answer 14

Ask your boss for new monitors, because they are unreadable. Show him your pictures. To establish change you either need to apply sweets or pain at the right place. If your boss feels the financial pain, maybe you guys can establish a "don't touch people's monitors" policy.

Alternatively, talk to your boss about another office or proper lighting, because you should not have to deal with all that reflection!

Or ask for a tablet that people can use to show you things on in meetings - and have the meetings take place away from your workstation.

This is not an issue of having a good work relationship vs. clear screens. At the moment you don't have either because your colleagues ignore your very real problems with their behaviour and you are sucking it up. Not good in the long run for your work relationship.

The issue needs to be addressed and a team-wide solution to be established. Discuss it with your both or even the whole team in a meeting. Tell them it might seem to be minor to them, but it does affect you - you have those pictures as indications of how much 'just this once I touched his screen' happened. If there is a good foundation, your team should come up with some solution, be it better lighting for your place, a different form of meeting with dedicated display/discussion interface (e.g. beamer) etc.

If they don't take you seriously or blatantly refuse there is an issue, there is no good working relationship to be lost by being more aggressive. Even if you just get them to acknowledge the problem and do better in the future, you have a much better standing to pre-emptively warn them when they come close to your monitor again, after all, you just remind them of their vow.