I feel uncomfortable about an upcoming business trip with a female colleague. I would be more comfortable if we flew on different flights and stayed in different hotels but I am not sure on how to handle this as our relationship has always been friendly and 100% work related.
If I mention the "danger" of this trip with her taking a non-work direction then I would be just revealing my inappropriate line of thought while in reality nothing has ever happened to indicate such a thing.
My feelings on this are colored by the fact that I am female and spent years traveling with male colleagues and very frequently in the early years of my career got taken off of career enhancing projects because some men (or their wives) were uncomfortable. So let me put this as politely as I can. You are acting in a chauvinistic manner. If you don't want to travel with a woman and stay in the same hotel or on the same flight, that's fine, then you stop travelling and let it harm your career and don't harm her career for your prejudice which is what will happen if you object.
She is an equal colleague and there is no reason at all not to fly on the same flight (you don't have to sit together) or stay in the same hotel (I presume both of you would object to staying in the same room!) It's just as if she lived in the same apartment building, no more personal than that. At the end of the work day, just go to your room and leave her to her own devices. If you share a rental car though, she should have the keys to the one the company is paying for and you should rent one on your own dime since you have trouble sharing with women. Its not her problem so she should not be the one who has to pay extra.
If she is not making advances to you in the office, then it is unlikely she will do so when on the road and if she does, then address that with a firm no and complain only if she persists.
This is a really tough situation given what you are asking. Nearly everyone you interact with at work is going to get this out of your request:
I would be just revealing my inappropriate line of thought
The problem here is YOU, not her. No matter what the reason (personal preference, religion, whatever) it is ultimately your responsibility.
I would suggest, among other things:
Do what you can do to minimize your feeling of risk/whatever. But do absolutely everything you can to avoid those actions affecting your colleague.
Probably not easily.
That's not a good impression of you, obviously, and it's almost impossible to avoid coming across as sexist and discriminatory. Because it's pretty much exactly what you are doing.
Ultimately this is an entire tradeoff between how you want to be respected by your coworkers and how important this is to you.
There really is not a great way to phrase this, at all, except perhaps something like, "Out of respect for my spouse, I prefer to avoid situations other than work with women in a 1/1 context." Even this wording is going to be VERY controversial too among certain people, though, so keep this in mind.
Some people/coworkers might not care at all about such a request.
But those that do? You are really going to offend them.
That's why you need to carefully consider how important this is to you before doing so. I'm sure this question and comments/answers will show that, too..
Different flights and different hotels is a bit extreme. I'm going to give you the benefit of assuming you're not an out of control womaniser and assume that like me your wife would have serious misgivings. Or that it's a religious issue. Or even just a legitimate worry because it's the first time you've been in this situation.
In the first case this is fixed by a few (actually a lot) phonecalls to reassure my wife that I'm not deserting her several times a day and every night.
Religious issues are hard to deal with. But unless they're expecting to share a room with this lady then I don't see a problem. You're not obligated to eat with her or even socialise outside work with.
Just keep everything on a strictly professional basis would be the best way. Don't make her any more uncomfortable than she may already be (you're not the only one going on this trip).
If it's because you have a personal attraction to her... curb it!.... it's not the time nor the place... and could impact very seriously on both of you if she doesn't reciprocate the attraction. I say this because you're out of the comfortable office environment, but still 'on the job'. Any problems this might cause would therefore involve people who don't know you, but are connected to your superiors. Always remember you are representing your company, not yourself.
Definitely do NOT let her know about your misgivings, that would just be creating a possible problem and tense atmosphere for her.
