I'm a female programmer. I work at a very small company on a small team with two other developers and a project manager.
I befriended one of my coworkers and we hung out a few times outside of work. I'm not sure if he got the wrong impression from me, or if he simply just has a crush on me, but he acts like he likes me as more than a friend. He messages or texts me frequently outside of work asking me to hang out (multiple times a week).
I made a post on social media that was generally about why girls don't go for nice guys. He assumed the post was about him and confronted me and basically said he's not "into me". However my post was pretty general and didn't mention him specifically in anyway, so the fact that he assumed it was about him made me feel like he actually does like me, but was just trying to cover it up.
I don't really know how to deal with this situation. If I confront him about it, I feel like he will just deny it, or react negatively (angry/sad). I have to work with him virtually everyday. We've been pair programming a lot, and it's frustrating because sometimes I just want to get away from him but I can't because it's part of my job.
I've been trying to just ignore it, but I'm not sure if that's the best long-term solution. But I also feel like confronting him about it could end badly.
What can I do to make my work situation more comfortable for me? As a female in a male-dominated field, I feel that I have a right to a work environment that I feel comfortable in. But I'm not really sure how to achieve that goal. I have a general feeling that my voice needs to be heard.
Just to be clear, since he confronted me about my post, (about two weeks ago) I have completely stopped any behavior that would send him the wrong signals. I have refrained from participating in any sort of non-work related conversations with him. It has made my work-life significantly less enjoyable. He continues to message me outside of work.