This isn't exactly what it may seem from the title, but I didn't know how to better summarize it. I need your help on this because I'm straight out of college and, admittedly, kind of lost when it comes to workplace etiquette/professionalism.

A while ago I started a hiring process and then a personal issue came up and I couldn't take the job, so I just stopped responding to their emails. I think that's very rude and I completely regret doing it, and I hate it when a company does it to me.

Months later I decided to apologize and I was offered another interview, which is awesome, and I passed the interview and was offered a 2nd one. The day before that 2nd interview, unfortunately something came up and I realized I wouldn't be able to take the job, and this time I emailed them as politely as possible to avoid wasting their time.

My question is, do you guys think its still a possibility to work for those guys later on? Should I even bother? Because I'm getting worried that this could actually come across as laughing at them and even worse than not apologizing in the first place.

  • unfortunately something came up Again? Short answer, you'd better provide a truly reasonable explanation. – scaaahu Oct 13 '15 at 9:37
  • @scaaahu I gave an explanation the first time, and for the second time, a friend recommended that I dont give details so I didnt. Do you think I disrespected them? – Eugenberk Oct 13 '15 at 16:37
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    PSA: while users are free to use their votes as they wish, try not to use your downvotes to signal disapproval of the OP's (past) behaviour. The question is well-written and the core question is clear and seems on-topic (despite the close votes). – Lilienthal Oct 13 '15 at 16:56
  • A possible mitigating factor: Was this 2nd occurrence recent? I'd think it more likely that they would consider hiring you if you canceled on the 2nd interview just a few days ago and are now trying to re-schedule than if you've gone a month or two without any contact. – GreenMatt Oct 13 '15 at 18:17
  • @GreenMatt It was recently, but I'm probably not gonna be able to join soon, since I'm sick. – Eugenberk Oct 13 '15 at 20:04

I was going to reply in comments, but thought I'd give an answer instead. I've had a candidate do basically what you've done so I can at least answer from the other side. If your personal issues are health related, it does make it kind of tricky. Unfortunately, from their perspective, unless you're some kind of industry god or they're extremely laid back, you're probably on pretty shaky ground by now.

The first time you became a ghost for not just days, but months and that's at the very least a huge red flag. Granted, after your return and explanation (I'm assuming it was health related or something as important), they probably thought "OK, this guy did bail on us, but he ended up having a good reason so we'll let it slide. He looks like a good candidate, and the position is still open, so let's see what he can do."

Then you bailed again. :/ This time without a reason (bad advice). I had a candidate cancel on me twice, the second time was 10 mins before the interview and we had already blocked out time for him and everything. After that, nobody cared about him. We wondered what kind of worker he would be if that's how he approached something as simple as the interview. Basically, we felt he didn't want the job, nor did we want that kind of work ethic.

While I agree with Joe in that you have nothing to lose by trying, I probably would either expect not to be given the chance again, or at the very least have a possibly awkward interview with people who have only really experienced the worst of you. Again, they could be really laid back and in that case, yea, try it out. Working for someone that tolerant to your actions is rare. That may also be a red flag on their end. Will they be that laid back paying you?

My personal recommendation is to get better, and move forward with another company and DON'T DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS AGAIN. Always have a good reason, always be polite, forthcoming, honest and grateful. People will understand and tolerate personal responsibilities, but not being blown off repeatedly.

Oh, and for the future, you don't have to give a reason only when you are intentionally 'burning a bridge'. But if you expect to cross it again, you better have a damn good one.

  • Just accepted, thanks a lot, it helps to know the perspective from the other side. I will really take your advice into account for the future. Regarding this case, I think it was a mistake to even rejoin the hiring process when there was a possibility that I could take the opportunity, but I figured it still gives a better impression that staying a ghost. Anyway, lesson learned. – Eugenberk Oct 15 '15 at 19:20
  • No problem. Thanks for accepting. Sometimes learning what not to do (especially the hard way) is the only way for success in the future. – coblr Oct 15 '15 at 23:05

My question is, do you guys think its still a possibility to work for those guys later on?

While I'd be unlikely to extend a third invitation to someone who bailed on me twice already, anything is possible. Perhaps you are so good of a candidate, they are willing to overlook your behavior.

Should I even bother? Because I'm getting worried that this could actually come across as laughing at them and even worse than not apologizing in the first place.

Sure you should bother - you have nothing at all to lose.

They might just pick up where they left off and pursue you. Or they might not. Either way, you would be no worse off than you are now.

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