I am currently working a part-time temporary position as an Instructor, which has good hourly pay but limited hours, so it is meeting my very modest expenses, but that is it. I have to pay for my own healthcare insurance, which is a significant expense. I took this position after relocating a few years ago and starting an entirely new career, after being burned out in a previous career, and being let go from a highly paid position before that due to an acquisition. I tend to be fearful that I could lose this position and end up on the street, quite literally. Last year I had major surgery, and I currently take several strong medications which tend to lower peoples' energy and in some cases cloud their thinking. I am coping OK with that. I feel that I probably do not have enough energy to work a full-time job, as I often come home after 5 or 6 hours (set by my workplace) and sleep.
The issue is that although I have recovered mostly from the surgery and I can think clearly and do a days' work, I am not always very sharp and certainly not achievement-oriented. I feel conflicted that I do not feel driven, but that is part of what burned me out before. I am afraid I will lose this fairly ideal job (high hourly pay, interesting work and limited hours) and then be in a worse position. But no one ever talks to me about my performance. I have basically no reviews, and it is a laid-back place to work. As long as I get things done, it is basically up to me. I spend some time researching areas that are peripherally related to what I teach, and learn the current state of the field so that I know what I am talking about. But I don't feel like I'm "working all the time" that I am there.
Am I putting too much stress on myself, thinking that I must "perform", when I am getting my work done and nobody is concerned about it but me?