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The team I am working on has a budget for training and they are spending by sending some people to a technical conference and others will simply attend courses for time management or communication.

The courses are held with people from other teams, so actually this is not from our team budget training but from the companies training budget.

Needless to say I am not included the group going to conference despite having very good performance at work and being actively involved in the project we are undertaking, of the guys in the other group only one is truly involved in the project.

I asked my direct manager to include me in the group when I heard from my colleagues that he wants to exclude me, he said that he thinks about it and never communicated to me the decision he made, I realized what he chose when I got the appointment for the soft skills course.

This generates lots of frustration on my end, I tried to understand why the company behaves like this and emailed my manager's manager asking why the situation and what criteria they used when they discriminated between us.

Had no luck, he simply didn't wanted to answer the questions and said that he can explain to me the concept of a budget, to me this is insulting.

My manager told me that he has a career path in mind for me and that was the reason he didn't included me in the 'going' group, but never discussed it with me before deciding, at this point I don't know his plan.

How do I let them know that their approach just generates lots of frustration in the team, last year everybody was able to attend the conference and now the team is slightly bigger but the company financial performance is top?

How do I let my manager's manager know that he is insulting me with his arrogance without being rude? I was actually asking why we don't have the budget, what is more important? Does he try to be arrogant in the hope I will avoid confrontation?

How do I let my manager's manager know that he has to listen to us, I don't think he affords losing any team member because of arrogance or being indifferent at this point of the project, especially very involved people. I don't think he realizes the situation.

Update

My aim is to understand their decision from their point of view and void my frustration feelings, I tried to do it by asking 'why' and 'how', ended up in the situation above.

Another point is to make management understand that discriminating by what appears subjective rules creates frustration for employees which in turn distracts from real work.

closed as off-topic by David K, S. Kolassa - Reinstate Monica, Joel Etherton, Kate Gregory, Dawny33 Oct 22 '15 at 17:19

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  • "Real questions have answers. Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, click here." – David K, S. Kolassa - Reinstate Monica, Joel Etherton, Kate Gregory, Dawny33
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How do I let them know that their approach just generates lots of frustration in the team, last year everybody was able to attend the conference and now the team is slightly bigger but the company financial performance is top?

You would ask for a meeting, and say "I am experiencing some frustration because of your approach in choosing who goes to conference," and ask for additional information. Don't raise your voice. Don't be petulant. Just ask like a professional adult.

How do I let my manager's manager know that he is insulting me with his arrogance without being rude?

The above should cover this. Expressing that you are experience frustration communicates that you are experiencing aversive feelings as a result of their logistics.

I was actually asking why we don't have the budget, what is more important?

This is kind of fragmented.

Does he try to be arrogant in the hope I will avoid confrontation?

This may be part of his tactic. Lots of people use bravado tactics to avoid conversations they dont want to have.

Now for my overarching advice.

It sounds like you are treating the conference like it is a reward, or a field trip. Like the team is going to Disneyland as a reward. That is not the case. They are going to a professional development conference because their skills are lacking and they need it.

If you are already a strong team member, then it would be a waste of time and money to send you to a training conference that you don't need. I would not be looking at this situation as commentary that you are being ostracized. I would look at it as an indication that you are a top performer, and your manager doesn't think you need the remedial measures that the people who are being sent to the conference need.

Request a closed door 1 on 1. Express that you are feeling frustration that you don't get to go on the trip, and ask for context and clarification as to why exactly you are not going to the conference. I have a feeling that you'll get a "dont quote me on this yet" response that the manager is trying to move you up the totem pole, and that management/administration skills will benefit you more than what the conference is offering.

  • @user2989297: Indeed I see this conference as a reward more then anything, I feel somehow bad about it but I don't think you can derive more from it. My reasoning is as follow: the period is very short, about 3 days, also there are no practice sessions. What you get is that you broaden your vision about the field a bit and maybe start learning/training from there. There is no specific skill anybody will improve going there. – Bogdan Petrica Oct 22 '15 at 18:47
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I suggest focusing on one issue:

My manager told me that he has a career path in mind for me and that was the reason he didn't included me in the 'going' group, but never discussed it with me before deciding, at this point I don't know his plan.

You could ask for a one-on-one to discuss your career path. Of course, be prepared for the possibility that your manager cannot discuss it right now because his ideas involve changes affecting other people.

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