I'm a senior'ish software developer working in an open plan office with other departments besides mine. A new member has joined our team, and after two weeks, this person has upset almost all the members of the office.

It seems like this person gets himself involved in other people's conversations just to cause an argument. Personally I would describe this person as a social justice warrior.

So far this person has only commented on one of my own behaviors, however they have done so to pretty much everyone in the office.

Should I be the one to speak to my manager about this person?

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    Comments are not for extended discussion; this conversation has been moved to chat.
    – Neo
    Oct 29, 2020 at 17:27

4 Answers 4


This new person might be a bit on the immature side, however "complaining" about them might be equally so.

I've had to deal with a similar person in the past, and the whole office sort of came together to guide her on a more compromising track. Different people gently spoke to her about separate issues, and how making a big deal out of everything is simply unproductive. Eventually we got through, although, frankly, many people avoided dealing with her if they didn't have to. C'est la vie.

So here's a few things to try:

Have a talk

Try speaking with this person in private. Don't be condescending, simply be matter of fact, and friendly. There's a few factors that may be influencing their behavior.

For example, is this their first full-time job? Or his first job in an office environment? Because you're right, stuff happens which you may not like, and some of it you just have to let go (for example in my office most people eat at their desks. I don't always enjoy the smell of other people's lunched, but I know my own lunches might smell bad to them, so I'm never going to comment on that).

This person may not understand how "the real world" works yet. I personally made a lot of faux-pas at my first job, and I'm damned lucky to have been part of a very understanding company and team.

They may very well appreciate you taking the time to speak to them and explaining that they try to integrate in the group.

Involve the boss

If, however, this person really, truly, doesn't get it, and is trying to mold the world to their views, then maybe drop an informal line to your manager. Don't complain outright, just gently flag their behavior:

Hey boss. You know that new guy? He's a real character, the whole office is talking about him. Bit of a social justice warrior. I think he needs to tone it down a bit, but it's not really my place to speak to him. Think you could give it a try?

That way you're not really complaining, you're helping your boss preempt a possible problem in the team.

PS: I've approached this question from the perspective that your new colleague really is "a social justice warrior", and going over the top. However, it may be that your office culture is a little unprofessional/slack, and this person is not reacting well to that. I can't judge that based on the information you provided, so simply be honest with yourself before you decide to jeopardize this person's future with your company. And for the record, if you were whistling around me, I'd probably ask you to stop as well.

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    If any employee of mine actually used the term "social justice warrior" to complain about a coworker I'd find it hard to take them seriously. Nov 25, 2015 at 22:59
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    Thank you, this I think is good advice. Lots of people got hung up on the whole whistling issue, which was just an example of (what i would call) the trivial things that have been complained about. Nov 25, 2015 at 23:16
  • @CharlieBrown - it's typically difficult to judge the circumstances of a situation in these questions, so I try to just stick to the facts and roll with it. Hope you figure this situation out.
    – AndreiROM
    Nov 25, 2015 at 23:20
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    Part of the problem might be the way the new person is making their concerns known, so the private conversation might include ways to let the OP know when he's disturbing them. My colleague that sits in the cubicle connected to mine occasionally "taps" on his desk hard enough to rattle the things on my desk when he is listening to music in his headphones. I just say his name loud enough so that he can hear me over the wall and he stops. We get on just fine. I know he's not doing it to purposefully annoy me and he knows I'm not angry, I just need him to cut it out so I can work.
    – ColleenV
    Nov 26, 2015 at 1:43

From your description, he is trying to put his views against things which are genuinely disturbing him and which he thinks need to be discussed.

I don't see a problem with him. If the entire team has a problem, maybe you(and your team) should start by sitting down and have a chat with him before taking it up to the seniors (or the manager)


Sounds like you might be part of the problem here. You shouldn't be whistling in an open office environment, it's annoying and rude

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    This should be a comment. It's not an answer. Nov 25, 2015 at 16:51
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    It sounds like an answer to me. "It's not him, it's you" Is a fine answer. Nov 26, 2015 at 16:58
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    Even if the whistling story hadn't been edited out of the question, this does not in any way help the OP with resolving his actual problem. While an argument can be made that the OP should also aim to correct his own quirks, that's entirely beside the point: dealing with a serial complainer who's disrupting the office.
    – Lilienthal
    Dec 1, 2015 at 19:07
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    It does help the user. He's the problem that's been ignored by the rest of the office. He needs to reflect on being an annoyance before complaining about the new guy
    – ist_lion
    Dec 1, 2015 at 19:40

Some people would say that the employer owes to them some good work conditions. In other words, the company should make sure (through the manager, or any other staff around) that the office is fit for their specific work. Even a plumber coming in a house to repair something broken is due at least the basic respect from the house owner (eg. if the owner has a dog that barks or tries to bite the worker, it's the homeowner who MUST stop his dog or lock it in other room. I can't imagine the plumber hitting the dog with a pipe, in revenge, either. He's not there to educate that dog or to defend himself from it, either. The same is with people. This scenario was just an example to help you understand better.)

A place of work must provide the basic conditions to the employee as time the employer pretends to be satisfied with the result of that one's work, too. There's no way around. And this doesn't mean that you (as an employee) ask too much. You provide a lot, they must provide a lot, too. So stop thinking about employee/s as being just part/s of a flock. Actually their "employer" is a mere client, so both the client and the worker must respect each other.

  • Is there an answer in here somewhere? You probably think it’s implying a course of action but it’s not clearly, please state your advice to the OP in addition to your metaphors.
    – mxyzplk
    Oct 29, 2020 at 13:36
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    @mxyzplk-SEstopbeingevil my answer means that the person should discuss with the employer, I thought it was clear. I explained that the role of the employer (or of the office manager) is to also keep a nice atmosphere in the workplace. I must also add that at least in the version of the question that is now on the page I cannot see anywhere any mention about the guy whistling. Strange enough, even the question itself seems to have been edited, like some stranger knew better than the asker what was the asker's problem. That didn't helped, either, or am I wrong ?
    – Eve
    Nov 1, 2020 at 2:04

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