My manager is kind of blaming and threatening me [closed]

Question

This is a continuation from my previous post:

I am leaving soon for a new opportunity. Should I mention my co-worker's deficiency to our manager as I leave?

A little background (for those of you who don't want to read the whole story):

• I have 2 full SDLC projects
• I have a deficient colleague
• I am moving abroad for a new job

I have resigned and am going to finish work early January next year. Today my manager approached me to ask about my projects' progress.

The progress is not very good since I need to handle both projects (1 of the project is for 2 different OS) and there is no one to help me (although I work every day including weekends and nights). I am also pessimistic about whether I can finish these projects before my last day.

My manager said that he wants me to help the project although after I will be leaving in January (from abroad?!). Then, he kind of indirectly blames me for leaving during the projects. He said that I knew that I will resign before the projects began (although I didn't know) and if the projects won't finish before my resignation, our company management will hunt me!

Actually I have given 2 months notice instead of 1 month (which is the company's rule)

How do I deal with my boss? I believe my case is a bit unique since I have a colleague that should help me with my work but is not helpful at all in these projects.

Note:

It seems that my manager's point of view is coding is an easy task, maybe because he is from product background (similar to IBM's, Microsoft's products, if you guys know) that need installation and configuration only.

Additional:

My manager also said to think about what he said. though I am not sure what he intends to convey.

Additional per 4th December 2015:

Hope this will be a useful information, I am not sure whether my manager has found my replacement, but he should tell me if he has, and up to today, he hasn't spoken any to me. I also have tried to look for someone to fill my position with no luck. Moreover, in my country, it is quite rare for my position and somehow, it is very hard to find someone. So, maybe this is the reason my manager acted like that.

Amount of hours - off hours (As asked by tripleee):

I can say that on weekday I can work 3-4 hours after office hours and 4-6 hours on weekend.

Answer 1

Personally I think the project issues aren't your problem. The manager is putting pressure on you because he failed to plan for your leaving. Give him a realistic estimate of what you can achieve in your remaining time and offer to help plan for handover before you leave.

Once your notice period is over the direction and success of the project is not your problem and you should focus on being successful for your new employer.

Answer 2

If you leave at the company and the projects that are working on don't get finished, guess whose fault that is?

It's your manager's fault, and his alone. You are leaving, you are not getting paid anymore, you have no reason to do any work whatsoever for them, so whatever isn't finished has nothing to do with you.

Your manager has had plenty of time to hire a replacement. If he isn't doing that and the project doesn't get finished because of it, that's fully his fault. Or he could try to get help from others in the company. His fault completely, none of your business.

Obviously if coding is an easy task, then your manager should have no problems finishing the projects himself.

Answer 3

How do I deal with my boss?

You simply do the best you can until your last work date, then put it all behind you.

It no longer matters what your boss thinks. It doesn't matter who he blames, and it doesn't matter if he hints that you should continue working on the project even after you are gone.

It sounds as if your boss is trying to exert some pressure to get you to work harder and finish the project. Be honest with your estimates, even if that's not what he wants to hear. Work as hard as you normally would, but understand that your boss will have no leverage over you once you are gone. Any threats that management will "hunt" you are laughable.

Finish your 2-month notice term as professionally as you can. Say your goodbyes, and don't respond to any additional requests for help.

Then breath a sigh of relief and stop worrying.

Answer 4

Some good answers here already, the only addition I have is that it looks like an opportunity to make some money. I would tell him I'll do what I can to help after I leave for a consultants fee of x (x being a very high hourly rate)

This has worked for me a couple of times in the past and made me a few thousand $$ pocket money.

Answer 5

The manager is responsible for the projects under his wing. So are the people working on them. Therefore, once you leave, the manager will the only person responsible (except for his manager, and the manager of the manager, and so on).

The manager tries to solve his problems by making them yours. He has no leverage to do so, so he tries to threaten you. In common sense terms, that makes the manager a bully.

You are most likely not required to work infinite amounts of unpaid overtime by your contract, and you are definitely not required to work for a company after your employment ended. People who work without pay do so for their own reasons, which are usually either because they like the people they work for and have a strong sense of duty, or because they are afraid of losing their job. Given your circumstances, you're probably not afraid of losing your job.

If you work unpaid overtime and continue working for free for the sole benefit of your manager because the manager is a bully, you're doing it wrong.

What your manager did is highly unethical. The blunt and highly effective response is as follows:

First, stop doing any unpaid work, effective immediately. Second, write an email to your "company management". State your situation in no more than 3 sentences, and stick to the facts, avoid anything that can be seen as accusation: You started project X at dd/mm/yy, started looking for another job at dd/mm/yy, got a good offer from company A in country C, which you accepted. Out of loyalty you decided to give 2 months notice instead of 1. At the current rate of progress, and with the currently available resources, it seems unlikely that project X will be finished before you leave - but you're giving it your best, and are more than willing to train someone else to continue the project if need be.

Then put the cherry on top: "My manager XY seems to be under the incorrect impression that by resigning I sabotaged the project on purpose, and informed me that you - the company management - will "hunt me" if I won't finish the projects in my spare time after leaving the company. As the company management, can you please clarify what exactly you meant by this?"

This way you tell company management that you were officially threatened in their name, and by not calling it what it is you give them an easy way out. An easy HR response is to state there was a "misunderstanding", dress down your manager in private, and make sure you get a good reference.

Do not worry about burning bridges. Your manager already strongly dislikes you and seems to have low ethic standards, so the bridge is already on fire. You're in a situation where you get a bad reference and can't be fired. The worst possible outcome is that you still get a bad reference and still can't be fired. The most likely outcome is that you get a good reference and your boss will be told to back off.

Answer 6

You don't say where this is happening, but I think your manager threatening you gives you good cause to leave immediately, rather than waiting one or two months. Two months may be the company rule, but I'm sure there is also a rule against threatening employees and trying to induce them to work for free.

If I were in your situation, I would pack up my stuff and leave. Your relationship with your manager is already terrible, and it is only going to get worse. Life is too short to put up with people like this.

Answer 7

I'm not sure it's blaming. It's trying to find a solution.

If the solution is not realistic(i.e. you don't intend to work after January for them), then your role, as a professional, is to prepare your current employer to accept the facts. While still doign a good job. After all, as long as you get paid, you are entitled to do the job. Once finished, enjoy your new life.

You risk having pressure on your shoulders the next two months. Enjoy. It's a training for the next steps of your career. Train to stay professional, do your job, and no more than that.

Answer 8

I wanted to address your voluntary overtime. Before I proceed with that, I agree with what others have already stated -- your manager is entitled to your capacity to the extent that he is compensating you for it, and responsible for arranging adequate resourcing for finishing a project he has taken on. This is his responsibility, not yours. You should not allow him to intimidate or bully you.

I know that expectances regarding overtime and weekend work differ between cultures, but where I am from, a project which cannot be completed without overtime is a problem which should be escalated. If your manager is using your unpaid time knowingly, that's another issue with him that you should bring up to his superiors. But the impression we get from your story is that you have unreported overtime, which is entirely your own responsibility.

Regardless, what you should do is (1) stop working uncompensated overtime; and (2) consider whether you want to suggest undertaking compensated overtime to finish at least some of your commitments.

If your immediate manager does not know how overworked you are, it is reasonable and responsible for him to assume your current capacity is sufficient for completing the projects you are working on. When this is not true, it is your responsibility to inform him of the problem.

Now, it's a bit late in the game to play this by the rules, but I think you should do what you can to act responsibly.

Your higher management needs to understand the nature of this problem. The project was understaffed to begin with, and it's really too late to bring somebody new on board.

You seem to be working in the software business, where it is very common to see extreme variation in employee productivity. (I think this was reported by Brooks? The fastest typist is like 50% faster than the average typist, but the fastest programmer is vastly more productive than the average programmer. See also https://softwareengineering.stackexchange.com/questions/179616/a-good-programmer-can-be-as-10x-times-more-productive-than-a-mediocre-one) Perhaps this is one reason it is hard for your manager to see what sort of work load you are under?

Unfortunately, you seem to be in a kind of priority inversion. You are prioritizing your manager's happiness, but he is not in a position (nor, at least any longer, probably in the mood) to reciprocate. You should be prioritizing, first, your own, and secondly, your employer's happiness, which currently seems to be at odds with appeasing your immediate manager.

A responsible leadership will want predictability and sustainability as well as profitability and commercial success. If you can't repeat this quarter's successes next quarter, you are a bad manager. Driving employees to the brink of exhaustion might be excusable under extreme circumstances, but cannot be the normal order of the day.

Can you document how much work you have actually put in? This should help clarify the situation, even though I don't think you have much of a standing for receiving any compensation. Even a rough ballpark figure would help here (are we talking 3, 30, or 300 hours per month? Any number you can somehow defend is better than "a lot" or "a little").

Answer 9

It's too late now, but giving 2 months notice was ill-advised. You know, if they fire you, they escort you out the door by security guards that same day, right? You owe them NOTHING.

Sticking around for two months just gives a lot of time for bad blood to build up.

Do not get emotionally invested in your projects at this point, just put in your hours and focus on documentation and transferring knowledge since that is all you can do.

If I were you, I would create a summary of what you will be doing to finish up in terms of a list of documents and so forth you will be leaving.

As far as "finishing" your projects, you can forget about that. It's somebody else's problem now.

Answer 10

In the USA, there's a common way to deal with this: HR departments limit their commentary to "he/she worked here from StartDate to EndDate."

You might say to your boss, "pity you didn't plan appropriately. What shall I say to YOUR boss, who asked me about this? I will be happy to convey my opinion to YOUR boss, or perhaps not. What, excuse me, I'm sorry, did I understand what you said correctly?"

Answer 11

There are a lot of great answers here, and great advice. I read all of them (I think). However, they all seem to miss an important aspect of your situation.

Your manager's job is to manage. He did not fail to "plan for your departure" and he's in a position that requires that he make demands (even unrealistic at times) of staff. If the job gets done then he's successfully managed the situation.

To be clear, he is acting like a bully, it's demeaning to you and it is short-sighted. However, your question is:

How do I deal with my boss?

Bullies do not respond well to aggression. You also know that your boss has a problem and he's upset at the circumstances. You also know that he knows where you are going and he is friends with people at the other company. Now you are concerned about your new job as well.

So, remember that your manager is not expected to "do your job." After you leave, if the project falls behind, he has a great response right now. He can say, "I'm having trouble finding a good person for this job. And the guy that left even gave 2 months notice instead of 1. And he tried to help me find someone. And he even worked overtime before he left to try to finish the project. And he's offered to help while being on the new job - and my friends over there are OK with that." Most likely his job is not at risk, he is just trying to get the projects done.

If he asks you if you thought about his "comments" (threats), you can respond with, "yes, I have given 2 months notice. I am trying to help you find a replacement. I will do what I can until my last day." Just as other answers have suggested.

I hope you get the point - you don't have to work overtime. You don't have to help him with finding your replacement. If a replacement comes onboard while you can help, you are being paid to help so you should help with the transition. But you also don't want him to make true comments to his friends about you being "uncooperative" or hurting him or the project. But you are not really at risk of that.

His tactics are horrible. He is not a model manager. If the directors at your new job know him, they probably know this about him. They are probably happy to have you - because if you can work for a jerk like that, you will do very well with better managers.

At this point, he's trying to distract you from focusing on your successful transition to your new job. And possibly in some twisted way he's hoping that will mean that you return to him - because he obviously needs you. Don't take the threats too seriously, because they are empty. Just focus on the future.

You just have to decide how much you will allow your manager's bullying to bother you, because for him, it's too late to keep you.