I hate two of my colleagues who I'm forced to share close proximity with in the office.
If someone asks me a question one of them will jump in. If someone asks me for help with something easy, one of them will jump in. This means I lose out on opportunities to show I'm adding value, build relationships, etc.
There is nothing I can learn from them. They frequently look at my screen and copy the techniques that make me a productive employee, like the software and websites I use, the way I manage my time - even taking prompts from my email/calendar/todo list for what they should be doing.
One of the most annoying parts is from watching what I'm doing they jump into conversations and act like they had some involvement in the work I've done or if I'm discussing plans with a manager they'll act like they're part of it or append moronic suggestions/problems that sound reasonable to non-technical people.
I think they're parasites but dealing with them in a hostile way isn't working and is making me unhappy. I don't have the tactfulness to say "you contribute nothing, leave the conversation" in a way that sounds appropriate to the other employees. I dropped a hint the other day by saying "he thinks his name is my name" because he answered a question directed to me. I'm not sure if that approach makes him look bad or me look bad.
Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better.
I'm thinking about just trying to be nice and helpful to them, being open and sharing what I'm doing, allowing them to handle questions directed to me but I'm also really scared I'll regret it because it seems like they'll win, I'll give them everything and I won't benefit in any way other than not being seen to be rude to them by other colleagues.
Should I go with the new approach or act to stop them benefiting off my back?