What happens during 'meet the team' days?
As you say it is a 3-day meeting, so one of the following might be planned for you:
- A long team project where you might be asked to collaborate with your future team, so that they can gauge your teamwork skills, interaction skills and your working style. These would be very important for you and also for the team.
- You would have a series of interviews with a lunch session (maybe everyday) along with an office tour and a detailed presentation of what your role would be and what the company expects from you, once you have taken charge in that role.
- 3-day whiteboarding
Are there unwritten rules or expected behaviours?
Yes, there are some. I don't think these might come as new or surprising to you, but I'll list them anyway:
- Try not to fake your work culture: They are trying to gauge your working style and your culture, and the prospect of you becoming a nice fit. So, don't fake it before them. You, at your original best might be a perfect fit.
- Display the same enthusiasm every day: Try your best to keep at the same enthusiasm level everyday. Don't let it droop.
- Be a really good listener, and ask very well calculated(/formulated) questions
Is there a standard procedure?
No, each company has a different procedure of it's own. A possible pattern could be:
- Whiteboarding/interview/live coding with the team
- Casual/watercooler talk