One of the main feedback points I got from my performance review was that my colleagues complained/commented that they feel that I go into discussions too aggressively, that I try to push through on my own viewpoint and that I drag out discussions.
However, I also got a positive feedback point in that I have a strong (and backed) opinion and that it's good to have different opinions in the team, as it allows us to explore more ideas.
It is not that I actually think my opinion is always best; it's more that I am more likely to defend it and quicker to think discussing opinions is valuable, I suppose. And that's a value that is well-regarded and should remain as such.
Regardless, I feel that if people feel too threatened to start up a discussion, they simply defer to me (and resent it later). That is a big issue, so I'd like to change my attitude in discussions.
How do I have a good technical discussion, with a goal of "finding the best solution to the given problem", without scaring off colleagues or coming across too aggressively?
Details that might matter:
- We're a distributed software development scrum team of 5 developers
- One colleague and I are Western European, the other 3 members are Indian