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e.g. Boss goes into a meeting with her boss and I'm convinced it is about me... do I still have a job.. etc.

How to get out of the mindset that everything my boss talks to others about, must be "meaningful" about future of job?

closed as off-topic by Joe Strazzere, Masked Man, Dawny33, Jane S Feb 25 '16 at 1:31

This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:

  • "Real questions have answers. Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, click here." – Jane S
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

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    It might be best to talk to a counsellor if you are frequently feeling anxious. Otherwise, we don't know what the situation is where you work, so we can't tell you if your job is or is not secure. – Jane S Feb 24 '16 at 21:43
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    +1 to Jane's comment, but also: if you're feeling insecure about your job, getting some insurance (another offer) is often the best cure. – CPerkins Feb 24 '16 at 21:47
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    The answer to this is no different from what you would do if you were overly anxious in any other area of your life. In other words its not specific to the workplace. A counsellor is good. Some workplaces provide counselling as part of the benefits. If nothing else, visit your family doctor. – DJClayworth Feb 24 '16 at 22:39
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    I agree with all of the above, seek professional help. I went through this myself, and you CAN'T go through it alone, you will make yourself sick – Richard Says Reinstate Monica Feb 24 '16 at 22:41
  • don't smoke anything that makes you paranoid all the time during working hours? – Kilisi Feb 25 '16 at 5:18
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As others have stated in the comments if there isn't any specific reasons (poor performance reviews etc) then you should probably seek some form of counseling for your anxiety.

How to get out of the mindset that everything my boss talks to others about, must be "meaningful" about future of job?

Your boss likely has many more responsibilities than you do. Some conversations you are not privy too and others may be private just for the sake of allowing you to be focused on completed your tasks. This likely isn't going to make you feel any better which is why it's important that you seek counseling.

I explain the following, not to scare you, but in hopes that it might motivate you to take the next step by getting some insight into what this issue might evolve into

If left unchecked it's possible that those feelings can create some serious frustrations for both you and your colleagues. I had a colleague that was extremely unconfident when it came to job security for no legitimate reason (we hired them for an entry level position and they performed to expectations). It started with being pouty and upset about not being involved in everything and then prying into the details of every private meeting that occurred. No amount of praise (hey you're doing a fantastic job) or general logic of "why would you think your job is in jeopardy?" worked.

  • Bosses often have to discuss upcoming business needs and changes that they are not allowed to share with their subordinates until the actual decision are made including such things as new benefits, layoffs ,performance appraisals, awards and bonuses, new software, or upcoming projects. They may be discussing issues with another employee and obviously you have no need or right to be in those meetings. The vast majority of those discussion are not something that directly impacts whether you personally will remain employed. My boss often is in 6 hours or more of meetings in a day. – HLGEM Feb 25 '16 at 21:45

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