I've never done this before and could use some advice. I am preparing to report my manager to HR for the way he acts around people. I don't know where to start. The way he acts does impede productivity and the business and leaves people feeling confused and angry.
Some examples of things he does (in no particular order)
- yells at people and speaks in a harsh tone
- asks overly personally questions at point blank, as if the answer was required for the job, such as "how long have your parents been married", "why did they get divorced", "are you more focused on work or family right now?"
- has a threatening demeanor, one example was I was in a room and he charged in all mad and slammed the door closed (so it felt like we were stuck in the room with him) and started talking to us in a mad way
- says very strange things like "we have a special relation, I am the manager" or "I noticed you say "will do", is this something young people say?"
- told me I wasn't allowed to speak to other employees about work (I think he felt I was wasting their time, but he seemed to be ok with me talking personally to socialize).
- would claim that I lied about things, for example when I was studying up on a framework he said I lied on the my application form saying I knew it (though this wasn't true, and even if it was just because I'm reading a manual doesn't mean I lied when I said I knew it).
- He asked if I saw a parade over the weekend and when I said no he said I must not have any friends.
- He would take his shoes off and put his feet on the desk and sometimes did it to mine.
- He would play with objects in a strange way, for example I had my personal water bottle at my desk and he started slapping it back and forth with a measuring stick. Another time he was playing with scissors opening and closing them and laughing.
- Make strange phillospophical points out of the blue such as "there are no feelings at work" or "do you agree it is better to understand something before doing it? If yes, then you should do it".
- For reasons unclear to me criticize saying "be mature", "you're not being professional" or "stop wasting time". (sometimes I asked why he said it and he would have very strange reasons; for example he added new requirements so of course I had to go back and work on something that had been finished).
Any one of these in a particular scene could be alright: for example if I was a friend with a coworker and having lunch, I wouldn't mind him asking if my parents were married. But having the manager walk up to you just to ask you that question and the way he did it was very uncomfortable.
I'm having trouble consolidating and articulating what I have to say. If I e-mail the HR contact with the above list would this be the best course of action? How can I express myself more clearly?
Basically, what I'm asking is: when I report someone to HR should I give a full and detailed list of everything I can think of? I realize some are more important than others.
I had tried to resolve these issues with my manager directly and when that failed I tried to resolve it with his manager and that failed too. I have proof of this in emails.
I was wondering if he has a mental health issue, or a drug or alcohol issue that makes him act this way.