First, stay calm when working with this person. Second, realize that this person's job is probably to weed out frivolous requests.
I worked in IT (various parts) for a long time, and I can tell you hands down, rule one, the person asking the questions, as a matter of policy is NEVER right.
Can you increase my mail box storage?
First, you need to explain why. Second, some thought has to go into resource usage on the servers. Third, support issues, will the level one guys know what to do with your larger mailbox. Fourth, policy check, are there rules out there that say you can't without so an so's permission and do I have that permission. Fifth, time frame, can I get this done. Sixth, is this the right thing to do, or is it better to teach you/tell you how to delete some of your emails.
This can come across as a harsh list of questions. Why do you need it? Let me check and see if we have the space. I need to tell Bill, on site, about the change in our next meeting and see what he says. Did you get Janet's permission for an increase and where is that form? By the way, it's gonna take me about 4 weeks to increase this quota right now, you might be better off just deleting some of these 6 year old emails I see. Like this one here, it's a 500 meg video of a cat wearing a hat. Do you really need to keep that video?
This can be even more "harsh", when there is a general policy. Email boxes for Level 3 employees should be no larger the 2048 Megs. So you ask and I say No.
A partial fix
Remember that they are just doing their job. It may seem like a bunch of nonsense reasons to you, but it's really not. As an IT person sometimes your job is to just say no. And some times, a lot of times really, you either can't give a justification because it's against company policy to talk about that stuff, or you don't want to because it's going to take days (literally) to explain why the answer is just No.
I am a developer by trade, but I have very close ties to IT (started there) and I can tell you right now there are some very clear things you can do.
- Justify your request. Can you increase the RAM in VPS05 to 2048 Megs, we need some extra room while compiling.
- Put the request in writing.
- LISTEN to their reasoning. Ask why they did something a certain way. For example, I asked for extra ram why did you add extra swap instead? Answer: Because RAM is tight on that host right now and you only need it for compiling. It's better if that's a little slower then us having to take down the compiling box and move it to a different host.
- Make sure your requests are sane If they need prior approval, get it before you ask. Are you asking for more then they have?
- ASK FOR HELP!!! Don't tell them what to do. Instead tell them your problem. Ask them what can be done. Our compiler is dying because were running our of RAM. What can we do to correct this problem.
- Understand that a small change to their large and complex system is probably not that small. Be willing to be flexible and work around it.
From your question, to me, it sounds like you're the one being unprofessional. You expect them to do something because you ask them to. That's not their job. Unless you are over them in the "chain of command" then you need to change. Ask for help. They are there to help. They are not your personal "geek squad".
In the 8 years I have been a developer I have never told IT I need something. EVER! I tell them my problem, I listen to their feedback. I add my own.
Request: The new version of Visual Studio is running slow on my Dev box. I think it would work better if I had some extra RAM. Is there anything we can do?
Response: Sure, we could add more RAM. We could get you a new box, I have some newer laptops coming in next month, we could set one aside for you, if you think you could get Dave to sign off. Why don't I have Jane come look at it later today and see of there is anything she can do, configuration wise to hold you over for a month.
Request: I need more RAM for visual studio.
Response: No, you don't your box meets the minimum system requirements.
Same thing, worded differently, different outcomes.