I am a fashion designer student, in the top five of my class. I also work part time at a place that has a good environment and good colleagues. It is just that there is a supervisor who wants to have some kind of relationship with me.

A little bit about me: I am also a model (male), 25 years old.

So what do I do about this superior of mine? I just don't want my promotion and other things to be in jeopardy due to this. I wouldn't have any problem with having sexual relations with her if I already didn't have a girlfriend. She knows that and still insists. Just wanted to ask professional opinions of you guys here.

  • You're expecting a promotion at your part time job? It's also unclear what sort of relationship you're talking about, a quick grope in the dark, or possible partner for life? – Kilisi Apr 15 '16 at 0:35
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    Not sure we can give a professional opinion on casual sexual relations, morally it's reprehensible dependent on your religion or lack thereof. – Kilisi Apr 15 '16 at 0:42
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    The downvote was most likely due to this initial version which was still around 4 hours ago. workplace.stackexchange.com/revisions/… That initial version wasn't clear at all, but thankfully, you've made your question much clearer since then. – Stephan Branczyk Apr 15 '16 at 5:11
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    Even SE has griefers. ignore the one downvote – Old_Lamplighter Apr 15 '16 at 14:45
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    If nothing else, discreetly check on whether your workplace has a policy on sexual relations between employees – DJClayworth Apr 15 '16 at 16:50

She knows that and still insists.

That's clear sexual harassment. Be very sure you're not misunderstanding flirting with 'insisting'. Just tell her she's making you uncomfortable and see what happens from there.

It's part of the price you pay as a model though, sexual advances are probably more common than in other professions. It's whether you want to take them in good spirit or make an issue out of them which would be a judgement call on your part. My wife is an ex model and deals with it by laughing it off the first time (and probably taking it as a compliment although a bit rude), and mainly by slapping people if they get obnoxious about it. Not advocating you slap your superior though.

If neither of those work and it's an ongoing issue she tells me and I deal with it. What she doesn't do, is encourage it or play along. However she is married with kids so slightly different.

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    "It's part of the price you pay as a model though, sexual advances are probably more common than in other professions." That's called "victim blaming". – jimm101 Apr 15 '16 at 16:37
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    please write an answer so I can pull half a sentence out of it and say something about it out of context – Kilisi Apr 15 '16 at 16:41
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    Not so much taken out of context as taken at face value. – Cat'r'pillar Apr 15 '16 at 16:55
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    @jimm101: I disagree. There is a difference between blaming the victim ("it's your fault because you're so beautiful"), and acknowledging an occupational hazard (paraphrasing: "one of the downsides of being a model is is frequent sexual advances in the workplace"). By "price", I think Kilisi meant meant that harassment is an "unfortunate aggravation" not a "permissible behavior." I don't believe that Kilisi was blaming the victims -- the models -- in any way. – MealyPotatoes Apr 15 '16 at 16:56
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    @MealyPotatoes correct, I would have thought that self-evident in light of my first sentence "Thats clear sexual harassment' but my English isn't great so that might be why. – Kilisi Apr 15 '16 at 17:25

Dude! Don't dip your pen in the company ink.

You need to document the events thus far very carefully. Dates, locations, and what happened. Turn it over to your HR department right away. This really is no laughing matter.

If the advances continue, and you don't give in, she is already in a position to flip things around, and accuse you (at worst) or make your job miserable. You're really playing with fire. I wouldn't care if she was model-smoking-hot. Don't let getting some "honey" mess up your money!

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    I agree with documenting all the details. Once you have that in order before you go straight to HR try and handle this professionally. Just make it clear that you're don't want a relationship with her (or lack there of) to affect your opportunities, and that you'd prefer to keep things professional between you. In the event advances continue, THEN bring in HR. (It might not be a bad idea to chime HR in and say, "I'm handling a problem with X, I think I've got it under control, but thought you should be aware" so if things sour they're already aware. – RualStorge Apr 15 '16 at 16:55

But you are part of the problem

I wouldn't have any problem with having sexual relations with her if I already didn't have a girlfriend.

That is not a message to stop asking you to have a relationship. That is an invitation to keep asking as next week you might not have a girlfriend.

Sex with a co-worker let alone your boss is just not a good idea. You should dismiss it and tell your boss straight "no (with no caveats) and please stop asking me". If she continues after you tell her to stop then it is sexual harassment. If you are telling her "you know I can't as I have a girlfriend" then you are part of the problem. Based on your original edit with "jacked and all" I think you like the attention.

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While codenoire makes a great point, don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and talk to your superior about this, and make it clear that you don't have time for for this mess.

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