I told my boss I was pregnant at 4 months, but not my other coworkers until about 6.5 - 7 months. In my country, it's customary to wait past the 3 month stage.
I now have a few issues to deal with:
My boss isn't in the office everyday, so I sent him the news over email. He was upset that I told him over email, and was also upset that he didn't know I was married (my husband I eloped). He was shocked and didn't even congratulate me at all.
My reasons for telling them were not malicious. It was not affecting my work, I felt fine, and was not showing. I simply didn't want to have to deal with stereotypes about pregnant employees such as them not being committed or productive.
While I was away on leave, they became more friendly with each other and started to go for lunch. Of course, I was away and did not observe the bonds forming and were not a part of these bonds.
When I came back from my leave I found out that my colleagues were upset that I didn't make a big fuss, kept quiet about it, and was withdrawn. They even questioned if it was planned or not because I waited so long to tell them.
I felt that this was out of line and I'm not sure why someone you hardly know would hold this against you. They were very disappointed in me, but I don't feel like there is any explanation owed or any wrongdoing.
It wasn't a very collaborative environment and we mostly worked independently from each other. They were practically strangers to me. It was a very withdrawn environment socially with little interaction - no one ever ate lunch together for an entire year! Also, the environment was kind of toxic at times, e.g. shouting at me for needing help. Mistrust and division dominated the workplace.
I kind of felt like the job wasn't exactly a good fit for me and I was uncomfortable in the role. I had thought about leaving a couple of times but I had some life plans.
How can I handle these issues?