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I have a difficulty to give a right shape of speech to my thoughts or ideas or information that I know in order to express it well.

Most of the times when I compose any email, I feel very difficult to form a right sentence to express, but I can do a good job after couple of reviews and edits. However the difficulty is more in case of verbal communication. Some times other person get tough time to understand what I am saying. After some time if I review my self what I have been communicated, I could see there is a lot to improve. I feel like I could have use this sentence instead of that, I could have deliver the speech the other way or I could have start with so and so manner and end with so and so manner. I usually do well for the prepared discussions and planned meetings. However, I mess up with unplanned discussions since I didn't prepare.

Recently, I have done one experiment to check myself. Every evening after the work I used to review what I had communicated. I took one email which I had sent that day and review it and rewrote it. The latest piece is far far better than the original one. In case communications also I took one verbal communication context that had happened that day, and reviewed it myself. Then I form a speech for that context. This speech is far better than what I had spoken earlier.

I wonder why I am unable to form my best speech or compose my best mail instantly or spontaneously? How can I over come this difficulty of expressing in order to give my best instantly or spontaneously?

For sensitive communication I usually choose messenger or Email to communicate. And I will write an email after important discussions or meetings. These tips helps me to manage the situation. However I would like to over come my difficulty permanently.

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    Practice. I'm good at this sort of thing, mainly because I've spent years practicing in different environments. I've seen those I interact with get better at it (in spite of thinking they are awful at it, and, honestly they were) primarily because they are doing it more often. Find friends and talk with them..
    – enderland
    Dec 11, 2012 at 16:59
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    i think it is completely normal to expect "spontaneous" communication to be less concise and effective than well thought, digested, and revised ideas. that is why written communication is much better in the workplace than direct spoken -- it doesn't have to be real time and you have more time to think through your presentation, potentially weeding out c**p that is not conducive to getting the point across. frankly, i am in the same boat as you -- i am pretty bad and real-time communication and almost every time after interacting with someone, i get ideas how i could have communicated better
    – amphibient
    Dec 11, 2012 at 17:06
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    This will remove the issue and has proven to for thousands: toastmasters.org
    – Greg McNulty
    Dec 11, 2012 at 21:00

5 Answers 5

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Practice

The single best way to get better at fast communication is practice. I'm not sure about every location, but in the US there are groups like Toastmasters that focus on things like public speaking, as well as writers groups and groups that focus on debate style communication. Getting experience expressing yourself in whatever form you wish to improve is about the best way of improving. And doing it outside of your job is particularly nice, as you don't have the added burden of being afraid of being judged by your employer.

Forgiveness

Realize that all people have the problem you describe to some degree. Everyone is better when they take the time to edit their text, compose sentences thoughtfully, and prepare for a long time before presenting material. There are reasons why deep, difficult technical material is often presented in the form of papers, journal articles and books instead of speeches. There's a reason why professional teachers spend a long time practicing their material. There's a reason why political candidates read from teleprompters, and political debates never sound as polished as acceptance speeches. Composing on the fly is simply not as smooth as prepared composition, and (at least in English) - verbal grammer is typically worse than written grammer.

Tips

  • Practice adds speed - the more you practice the fast you can prepare and edit. Also, the more experience you have with a given group or audience the easier it is to create good patterns for effective communication. New audiences, new topics, and new modes of communication will always take more time than familiar spaces.

  • Pick your battles - make sure to take time to edit and review when you have more to lose from poor communication - customer communication, new audience, new topics, and policitically dangerous topics are good areas for heavy editing and review. Friends, coworkers, familiar topics and fun conversation are all good for ad hoc, informal, fast communication.

  • Watch for good phrases, metaphors, and models - for complex technical topics, I have a mental database of good ways of communicating difficult to grasp concepts. I can sound smarter, on the fly, by remembering good examples others have used.

  • Be sure of terminology - nothing will throw a listener faster than an incorrect term. I happen to work in a world filled with jargon, so keeping aware of correct words is a full time job.

  • Take it slow, have a plan - don't rush it - have a plan every time you want to communicate something complicated - what do you want from the communication? what must you impart to get what you want? Stick to those points, and eliminate anything that distracts from them, no matter how informative.

  • Work with tools that will give you feedback about your grammar - I'll write email in Word and paste it into my email program, because Word gives a much better grammar check than anything else on my desktop. Verbal grammar will always be trickier, but the same thing goes - the more feedback you can get the better.

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    For a note. the toastmasters is almost there everywhere even in India where the questioner is coming from.
    – jingli
    Dec 12, 2012 at 0:57
  • Cool! I never realized that!
    – bethlakshmi
    Dec 12, 2012 at 16:29
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    Excellent answer. I would add that it is easier to speak on subjects you know well. So if you don't know the details of your work in your head without looking things up, you are going to find it harder to respond on the fly. If you are one of those people who relys on looking things up, you are always going to communicate less effectively in a time crunch than people who do not have to do so. For instance I know our db inside out - I can answer virtually any question on it without having to tolook things up. If you don't have that kind of knowledge of your systems, start working on it.
    – HLGEM
    Dec 12, 2012 at 19:20
  • +1 for "Take it slow". Frequently I would rather people took a pause of silence to formulate their thoughts rather than babble on. I have no problem waiting. In fact, I appreciate them spending their brain cycles preparing the information that I will have to digest. In technical discussions communication needs to be short, precise, and accurate.
    – MrFox
    Dec 18, 2012 at 17:03
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    At least in the US, the speaker often things that pausing is wasting the listener's time, or displaying ignorance. But if you pause and even bridge with "let me collect my thoughts" or say something like - "getting you the right answer is important to me - give me a second" - you tell the listener that he is important and that getting the message right is important - which actually conveys respect and consideration and a depth of understanding that is rare and precious.
    – bethlakshmi
    Dec 19, 2012 at 15:54
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I struggle with this too. Some things to try, which should help when speaking:

  1. Speak more slowly - give your brain a chance to come up with the right word.
  2. Use short sentences - "I have a difficulty to give a right shape of speech to my thoughts or ideas or information that I know in order to express it well." -> "I struggle to express my thoughts clearly"
  3. Expand your vocabulary - the right word can replace many: "have a difficulty" -> "struggle"
  4. Use simple words - a lot of verbosity is just using complicated words for simple things - "However the difficulty is more in case of verbal communication." -> "But it is worse when speaking".

You have already taken the biggest step, seeking to improve by reviewing what you write. It will improve.

Often non-native English speakers know the vocabulary but not the emphasis, so native speakers can struggle to understand - if that is you, use emphasis and vary your tone to show which words are important in your sentence.

Speaking clearly and succinctly is a difficult skill to master, so expecting to have the best version in your first draft is a tall order.

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It seems you kind of have answered your own question, but maybe you don't realize that you are helping yourself to learn. Keep on reviewing yourself consistently and you will see yourself that you are improving.

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I took one email which I had sent that day and review it and rewrote it. The latest piece is far far better than the original one.

This is because you stopped thinking about the issues in the email and did other things, and then came back to the issues with a fresh perspective.

So, whenever possible, after you have finished writing an email, save it and close it and work on something else for a while. Then, later in the day, open the email up again, make whatever edits you want, and finally send it. That way, you get to make your final edits to the email from a fresh, clean perspective.

But I wonder why I am unable to form my best speech or compose my best mail instantly or spontaneously?

Probably because you feel passionately about what you are writing, and you have "horse blinders" on. Again, taking a step away from the issues for an hour or two will allow you to come back with a wider perspective and see that you should express yourself a bit differently. You won't be as emotionally invested in the issues being discussed once you stop thinking about them for a while.

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Communication is used to talk about how people share information(including their thoughts and feelings).The first thing that comes into mind when we talk about communication is talking and listening. While communications, there occurred many problems which includes speech sounds, speaking fluently, using words and grammar, putting words together to let others know what they think or want and understanding what others say. As per my suggestion, the best solution to resolve this communication problem is to practice hard. Its very important to find out the root cause f the problem and secondly, go for the solution.Try hard to interact with the people and communicate with them, this will help you in putting forward your thoughts and ideas among them.

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  • this post is rather hard to read (wall of text). Would you mind editing it into a better shape?
    – gnat
    Nov 20, 2014 at 14:57

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