How do I deal with a prejudiced coworker?

Question

Last month, I started working at a fast food restaurant. It is just a summer job for me to get some money before I go to college, but I am an extremely devoted employee (working 50+ hours per week).

One of my coworkers, who is rather tenured and much older than me, absolutely despises me. We will call her Jane.

Two weeks ago, my employer let go of an employee. We will call him John. My coworkers perceive that he was autistic (obviously, he was not fired for his suspected disability, rather for unrelated reasons).

On one of my first few days working with Jane, she asked me, "Are you autistic or something? If you are, I can't put up with that. We just fired an autistic kid." She has no right to ask such a question in such a derogatory way. As I was new to the job, I bit my tongue.

Today, I was working with her, and she unambiguously stated that she was trying to get me fired. She explained, "you are the spitting image of [John]. There is no reason for people like you to be the way you are." In the context of that statement, she made it clear that she was referring to autistic people in general.

At this point, I can no longer bite my tongue. Tomorrow, I plan to confront my employer about the prejudice that I am facing in the workplace.

As I have stated, I am a devoted employee, so it is important to me that I maintain a positive relationship with my employer and coworkers.

Finally,

Is it wrong of me to ask my employer to punish, terminate, and/or transfer (to another restaurant) Jane for her unethical behavior?

Also,

How can I go about this without damaging my relationship with my employer and coworkers?

Answer 1

Don't specifically ask your employer to punish, terminate, and/or transfer anyone. But do approach your manager, or if that's Jane, the manager above you both, and say what has happened. Focus on how it made you feel, not what you think should be done. For example

she asked me, "Are you autistic or something? If you are, I can't put up with that. We just fired an autistic kid."

and

She said "There is no reason for people like you to be the way you are."

Tell the manager you don't want to be spoken to like that. Consider adding a disclaimer that if you are performing your job improperly, you welcome being told that (including things like smiling more or making eye contact) but general statements attempting to categorize you and then complaining about the category are just not fair. Tell the manager if it upset you or made you worry you would be fired. Do not try to hide whatever emotional response her comments raised in you.

How Jane is treating you is unacceptable. Especially in a large organization, you can be confident they won't accept it. How they handle it may vary, but you will not have to listen to blatantly prejudiced "people like you" comments any more.

After you speak to your manager, make a note of the date and time, and of any promises the manager made. If the promises do not come true within a matter of days, you may need to escalate to a hotline run by your company, or the labour board in your jurisdiction, or some other public agency. Notes with dates are helpful in these cases. However, I strongly doubt it will come to that.

Answer 2

Is it wrong of me to ask my employer to punish, terminate, and/or transfer (to another restaurant) Jane for her unethical behavior?

Yes, it is wrong for you to suggest how your employer should be dealing with a coworker. That's not for you to decide.

Just report the behavior and explain how it makes you feel. In most companies, that will set the wheels in motion for the company to deal with this individual according to whatever process they have in place.

Your goal should be to have the problematic behavior stop. It's up to your employer to decide how to make that happen. They may choose to get the employee out of the restaurant. Or they may choose counselling, stern warnings, or something else. As long as the behavior changes, you will need to be satisfied.