I am highly stressed from my internship. I can list down the reasons as follows:
I have to travel around 1 hour and 15 minutes. (They provide transport but when I go to lecturs I travel using public transport and I am very tired by the time I go to lectures. When I have evening lecturs I am always late to lectures)
I work from 8.30 a.m. to at least 6.00 pm, often 8.00 p.m and sometimes 9.30 p.m. I also remotely log in to the office machine and work till midnight (sometimes 2.00 am - 3.00 am) and weekends too as I can't meet the deadlines. Some days I stay because they ask me to stay and finish work. I am self learning and coding. And I face to lot of technical issues everyday.
I am following my degree part time and I do not have time to complete assignments, attend lecturers properly and most of all to study for exams. Earlier when I did my degree full time my GPA was 3.93 and now It is 3.73 where I am almost losing my first class.
I can't meet the deadlines as my deadlines were the same as the Software Engineer, SSE and Tech lead although I am an Intern.
I do not have any value there. The rpoject Manager always blames me.
In my code there was an
If condition inside another
If condition, he blamed me in front of everyone for writing the code like that. Why can't you simply use
&& operator. My reply was "Okay, Mr. X. I will write like that next time onward." His reply was "You came here for a job after you learnt programming basics and this is not a place for you to learn."
Once he told me I am acting like a Mickey Mouse who can't take responsibility because I am missing deadlines. He said that even his supervisor has noticed that I am missing deadlines. But I put my full effort.
- None of the team members show any respect to me. They are like, "Move to QA or BA, SE is not something for you." It is okay. I also agree with that now. But I also have self respect. They simply pass hints to me.
- I do not have time to talk with my family or friends.
- I cry almost everyday at office washroom or after I come home thinking about what happened at office.
This is one of the best companies in my country and I have friends in other departments and projects. I am afraid how to manage with everything if I left this internship early.
How can I face office and university friends? What should be my answer for resigning?
Will this affect me finding a career in future after completing the degree.
It is almost 4 months now and to complete it I have to remain 2 more months here. I really can't survive like this for 2 more months. Sometimes I even feel like suicide when I am stuck at work and studies.
Someone please give me advice on this.