Hold an inconsistent manager to their word

Question

TL;DR

There is a disconnect between what my boss (Manager X) remembers and what the rest of the team see and hear. Regardless of what was agreed or discussed in the past, even when it is in writing, what he later recalls can be substantially different.

How can I hold a manager demonstrating a lack of consistency in their actions to account?

Background

Examples of the Manager X's behaviour include that he will:

• frequently deny receiving emails regarding important topics (HR issues, project updates) then become agitated about not being kept in the loop when something goes wrong. I've never met anyone else who has so many 'issues' with lost emails as Manager X.
• remember the outcome of meetings differently from everyone else in the room. Even when actions are written down and circulated immediately after the meeting, Manager X will dispute what was agreed at a later point in time. We've had instances where the entire team agree what was discussed at the previous meeting, only for Manager X to reprimand the team for not completing an important task that was never discussed.
• tell other people (particularly his boss) what was discussed at meetings he was invited to but did not attend.
• mis-remember key points from discussions, even when what he remembers is illogical. For example, we agreed to hire a consultant for £800/day, confirmed in a written quote sent to Manager X and myself. Manager X signed the purchase agreement, the consultant completed the work and issued an invoice. Manager X was the furious because he thought the agreed rate was £125/day, and consequently our team had spent over the allocated budget. After Manager X claimed to have never seen the original quote, the consultant pointed out that £125/day was less than the company pays the most junior engineers (let alone experienced consultants) hence it made no sense to ever think £125/day was the agreed rate.

We try to deal with Manager X's lack of consistency by asking for everything in writing or sending emails multiple times until you get a response. Most of the time the request is ignored, or met with a harsh "don't you trust me" or "I don't have time for that" response. This approach isn't proving to be effective.

I've been tempted to think it's an easy way for Manager X to lay blame for any mistake on another team member. But at this stage I don't really care for the reason, I'd just like to put in place an approach for making sure there's some consistency between one week and the next.

Answer 1

Playing devil's advocate for a moment before answering...

frequently deny receiving emails regarding important topics

Happens all the time when you get tons more email than you can possibly cope with.

remember the outcome of meetings differently from everyone else in the room

Also happens all the time, and usually is a sign you're overworked and burning out. (Or dumb, but usually the former.)

tell other people (particularly his boss) what was discussed at meetings he was invited to but did not attend.

Is a manager's job, assuming of course that what gets reported is correct.

mis-remember key points from discussions, even when what he remembers is illogical.

Misremembering happens, though not often when you're signing proposals.

---

Memory loss, as an aside, is a sign of burnout. And in the last two paragraphs of your question, you make it sound like your manager is completely overwhelmed or burnt out. (Or, your manager might be a monstrous micromanager... it's really hard to say. But my own guess is burnout.)

---

Which brings us to your actual question:

I'd just like to put in place an approach for making sure there's some consistency between one week and the next.

You can probably help out by making your manager's life easier instead of harder. Besides bringing up the burnout question upfront (with him or her), try to do your best to manage yourself to the point of being nearly or entirely autonomous. Examples:

• The task itself is vague or unclear? Expand a bit on what you feel the task is, what it's for, etc. in writing, and submit that for review.
• Next steps are vague or unclear? Expand on the DoD (Definition of Done), itemize the way forward, and submit those for review.
• Does the usefulness of this/that new feature sound fishy? Ask about it. Not satisfied with the answer? Ask if they don't mind you getting in a Hangout with a few end-users to validate the idea's merit? Assuming they accept, then do so and report on your findings.

More generally: try to produce docs that are scannable with a short TL;DR exec summary. They should only require a minute or two of attention unless your boss wants to dig deeper, and they should beg for a yes|no type of answer instead of a sophisticated replies.

Answer 2

For someone like this, where common practices such as getting things in writing or confirming receipt are not working, there is not much to do. It sounds like you already have plenty of documentation (e.g. signed purchase order with the 800 pound / day rate) of his behavior. I think at this point you need to initiate a discussion either directly with him or with his boss about his behavior and how it impacts your work.

Answer 3

Document everything, and CC manager X's boss. For important emails, send it with receipt requested, so you have the proof. Start CCing his boss on even trivial emails so that this erratic behavior becomes apparent.

If he reprimands people for things not done that were never mentioned, escalate.

The real problem is that his boss needs to start holding him to account, the only way to do that is to help his boss build a file on him. Again, document everything, and make sure his boss is kept in the loop.

Answer 4

While getting things in writing is good, just asking for things in writing is not good enough. There are 2 more things to do:

• Understand why things are put in writing. It's to resolve simple misunderstandings, but if the problem is more than just a simple misunderstanding - as is the case in your scenario - the purpose of a written record is so outsiders can come in, read the written records, and have an idea what's going on; who to believe.

• If you either don't get things in writing, or the things in writing do not match events as you experienced them, you need to put things in writing yourself. Send a short email:

  As discussed, [summary of discussion], [summary of actions you will perform], [summary of actions recipient is expected to perform].

  And when you write things down, you write down not just the original agreement, but you also write down how the boss changes his mind, and you write down his statements that contradict your previous records. No need to spell out that the boss changes his mind or that he contradicts himself, writing down the boss' new decision or the boss' new claim is sufficient.

If there are repeated misunderstandings which are not resolved by showing the written record, chances are there is a medical condition causing memory loss - some of which are life threatening - so you absolutely must contact HR with a medical concern. Don't try to save reputations by avoiding HR when someone's life is at risk.