I am an employee at a retail store, and my manager and I have been flirting for a while now, and we're definitely attracted to each other. He isn't the store manager, he's just over customer service. There is nothing in our company policy preventing it, but I don't want things to be weird between us if its not allowed. Would it be inappropriate for me to ask him on a date? I don't know if the whole manager thing would cause a problem.
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I don't think we can give you an answer as it is more opinion based. Although if there is nothing in your company policy that is keeping you from dating him, just go for it– MopMopOct 19, 2016 at 14:44
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Related, but the fact that he is your manager makes it not a duplicate: How to have a relationship with someone at the office?– David KOct 19, 2016 at 14:53
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@DavidK ermagerd! Someone who actually reads the duplicates! I though you were like unicorns! :)– Chris EOct 19, 2016 at 14:55
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@ChristopherEstep Depends on my mood - I've certainly been guilty of "Yeah, title's the same. Duplicate."– David KOct 19, 2016 at 15:00
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1SUggest you read this workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/8701/…– HLGEMOct 19, 2016 at 17:27
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3 Answers
It's rare that romantic relationships work out when the workplace is involved, in my personal experience. The first thing you have to consider is "what happens if the relationship ends horribly?" and that's usually why they don't work.
Having said that, it's not uncommon for people to date from the workplace. It's one of those "caveat emptor" situations. Just be aware that if things go horribly, you may need to find work, voluntarily or involuntarily.
And if it does go long-term, you probably would want to find other work anyway (at least in another store) so you don't have to worry about personal issues bleeding over into the workplace.
Do what you feel as long as you're aware that it could all end horribly. No risk, no gain.
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There's no conflict of interests here, so I'd say go for it (and good luck!). Just make sure he's single though - guys can be jerks at work sometimes.– user44108Oct 19, 2016 at 14:52
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1Right, I'm not suggesting a conflict so much as an awareness of the potential complications if things end. It could be anywhere from friendly to awkward to completely horrible, affecting day-to-day work.– Chris EOct 19, 2016 at 14:54
I'd be careful about something like this. You say your company has no policy against it, but many do precisely because it can cause all sorts of problems.
Namely, (a) Even if you try to keep the relationship secret, sooner or later co-workers will figure it out. And then there will be accusations of favoritism, whether they are justified or not.
And (b) If the relationship goes sour, you may find yourself working for someone who has hard feelings toward you.
On the other hand, if you think this has the potential to be the love of your life, do you want to miss the opportunity because of the risks of problems at work? That's not a rhetorical question: you could give a serious answer either way.
Personally, if I was interested in a girl I worked with, and it was of the, "She's kinda pretty and seems nice, maybe I should ask her out", I probably wouldn't do it. Not worth it. But if it was, "Wow, this is the girl of my dreams, I want to spend my life with her forever", I probably would and accept the risks. I think it all comes down to, If you had to give up your job to pursue this relationship, would you think it was worth it? If your answer is yes, I'd say go for it. If your answer is no, then probably best let it pass. Of course if you haven't even gone on one date yet, you probably don't know if it will turn out to be worth it.
This answer expands on that given by @Christopher Estep, specifically:
And if it does go long-term, you probably would want to find other work anyway.
Another reason why a long term couple should not work together is to protect their joint finances. If the company goes bust then the pair of you have lost your income. Whereas if you 2 work for 2 different employers, then there is still a source of income for the pair of you.
