I've been passed over for promotion. How should I respond?

Question

I'm 32 and I've been working as the Commercial Co-ordinator at a heavy haulage and logistics company for 8 years. Being completely honest, until I was 27 I treated work as something that was just to pay the bills, often made mistakes and didn't take it seriously, but then about 5 years, when the old Managing Director left and the office environment improved a lot, I decided to knuckle down, save money for a house and become an adult. It went well, and I got substantial pay rises and great reviews every year for the last 3 years.

Business was picking up so much 3 years ago that I couldn't handle the volume of enquiries, and it was decided that somebody would be hired at the same level to assist me, and I would train him up. He's 24 now, so he was 21 when he first started. He's a good guy and picks up new things easily, but last year he decided he wanted more money and responsibility, the company wouldn't give it to him, and he handed his notice in. Just as he was about to leave our Managing Director went to a competitor, so to avoid the problem of losing so many staff in one go they gave him a pay rise and allowed him to become more focused on business development and visiting customers, so he agreed to stay. At the same time the old Commercial Manager (who at that point was responsible for doing all of the customer visits) became the new Office Manager (the role of Managing Director being scrapped after the MD left and the company's shares were centralised through our head office).

I noticed a few months ago that the younger guy who I trained up was becoming increasingly forthright in his views and explaining the way that he felt things should be done. We didn't always agree, but it was never unfriendly. He was also taking on a lot more responsibilities which the new Office Manager had been doing.

I had my monthly one-to-one with the Office Manager after some gossip in the office got back to me about how it was clear that he was being trained up to be the new Commercial Manager. I explained how in my annual one-to-one a couple of years before that I had been told by the managers at the time that I was clearly the senior person with most of the knowledge in the Commercial Department, and to carry on doing what I was doing and within a couple of years I would have a senior role, and that I would also be going out to deal with more customers face-to-face, especially with regard to projects. He wasn't aware of this, but again said just to carry on what I was doing and think about how I wanted to sell myself in the annual one-to-one with the Managing Director from head office.

I went through everything I wanted to say: I speak 5 languages, have brought in the most work, including some huge projects for the company; I help everyone in the office whenever they can't understand something (language- or procedure-related), I've trained two people up and the department has expanded massively, and that I feel we work really well as a team. Sadly, I was then shot down and told that they'd decided that James, as the person who visits customers, should have the management title as it's better for the customer to believe the person who is coming in to visit them is high-ranking, and the structure of the company is to give the title Commercial Manager to whoever is basically the rep / business development guy. My suggestion was that I become Commercial Manager, the younger guy becomes Sales Manager or Sales Representative, and everybody is happy. They decided that this idea was not for them.

So to the crux: I feel like I've been strung along and promised things which have now been given to somebody else, who is much younger than me and who I trained, and who in a lot of respects I see as being junior to me. I'm struggling to remain objective, but I'm just about managing it. I find it very galling, though, that I've been there 8 years and the main reason I've stayed for the past 2 years was that I felt like I was working towards something and achieving something, and really going places, and now it just feels like I've wasted those 2 years and should have gone somewhere else, or moved somewhere further afield or prosperous and with more opportunities. It's also annoying that the younger guy resigned for more money and responsibilities last year, which I would imagine to show a lack of company loyalty to the Managing Director, but he's got the promotion, whereas I've never resigned or threatened to resign and I got passed over.

I'm thinking my last ditch effort might be to politely mention my frustrations after everything which I felt that I was promised, and to ask for clear reasons why I wasn't chosen for the promotion, along with clear instructions of what I need to do to be at least at the same level as my former peer, and a clear timeline of when this will be happening if I do everything which they ask of me. Then, if they won't give me any guarantees or if I feel like they're stringing me along, to hit the job market hard and to find something suitable. Is this a good idea? I don't want to spend another 8 years with the same job title as I had when I was 24, sat behind a desk everyday and going through the same motions. Have I already been too soft and not been aggressive enough with regard to demanding what I want? From everything I've seen, it appears that these guys are the only ones who get anywhere, and that loyalty does not really amount to much. Basically does it sound like I'm at the point where I either need to leave or become a bitter and jaded employee who doesn't go anywhere within the company?

Answer 1

When you wrote,

I noticed a few months ago that the younger guy who I trained up was becoming increasingly forthright in his views and explaining the way that he felt things should be done.

and,

He was also taking on a lot more responsibilities which the new Office Manager had been doing.

you're describing qualities that you don't attribute to yourself; which may explain why he's being given a promotion and you have not. Even if you feel you exhibit such qualities, apparently, it's not to such a significant degree that it has been noticed.

Your last paragraph sounds like someone who feels entitled to something due to seniority. Things don't work like that in business (unless one is in a Union). Do not assume you have the upper hand and can dictate or demand anything.

Your passivity and apparent lack of ambition for 8 years may have created a stereotype of who you are in the eyes of your superiors at that company. You might be better off looking for another job at another company; especially since 8 years at one job looks bad on a resume.

Answer 2

So, your idea is:

1. Get into a confrontation.

2. Hit the job market hard.

Okay, you can get into a confrontation since you essentially get to choose the time and place of the confrontation. As for what the outcome of that confrontation is - probably not in your favor. They already promoted who they wanted to promote and at this point, all you'll be doing is barking up an empty tree. You're a spare tire at this point, and they can probably afford to go without a spare tire if push comes to shove.

So after this losing confrontation, you plan to hit the job market hard? It doesn't matter how hard you hit the job market if employers are not hiring and you don't know whether employers are hiring because you never applied for interviews. Threats to leave are empty if you can't back them up with anything real. Like a job offer.

Because you put the cart before the horse, they will know or have a pretty good idea that you are looking. And there are going to be tensions between you and them because you confronted them. Whether they give you a reference is anyone's guess. And until you get that job offer, you are going to have to report to work every day. And until you get that job offer, they know that you have nothing lined up.

Answer 3

First of all, you have had a major disappointment, and need to take time to mourn and adjust. Do nothing, not even the sort of discussion you mention in your question, until you can think objectively about your career.

You do need to understand that promotions to management positions have nothing to do with what people deserve, what managers were thinking two years ago, who trained who, or who has been with the company longest. Promotions are only about what the managers think will make things work best in the future for the company and its management. In any case, the decision has been made, and is not going to change.

When you can put the past behind you, you should try to objectively analyze the company and your prospects in it. You have to decide whether or not to look for another job. If you decide to look for a management job, it may be worth doing some studying on-line or at a local college first.

If you decide to look, write down all your accomplishments during the last few years, and pick the most impressive ones to go in your resume. People often grow in skills and responsibility in the same nominal job. You need your resume to demonstrate that sort of growth. Even though the dates will show the full time with the company, prospective employers will care most about what you have done recently.

"I am ready for a management job and there are no suitable openings where I am currently working." is a perfectly good reason to be job hunting.

Answer 4

The solution is very, very simple - find another employer.

You've already given your "sales" pitch, offered alternative options that would satisfy everyone, and they weren't interested. They heard you, they said "no." Expressing that you don't agree is not new information, and it will be taken as disgruntled complaining. Maybe it is very appropriate to feel disgruntled, and maybe they have made a short-sighted, unfair decision, but the complaining won't alter their views on it.

It will only make your own situation and their view of you worse than it is now, which means your situation would not improve and you'd probably be looking anyway, if they aren't trying to actually move you along.

They'd probably be fine with you staying on, happily or quietly doing what you've been doing, but you want more than that. You'll need to get it elsewhere. From how you've described your accomplishments, I wouldn't think it would be a tough sell to another employer.

If you want to let them know how unhappy you are, leaving should send the message, and if you want to share the details, you can share that in your exit interview.

Answer 5

You have to ask for a promotion if you're not getting it. That is the conversation you should have been having with your boss all along. Be prepared with reasons for a promotion. Hopefully, you offer more to the company than just having stuck around long enough.

Start looking for another job anyway. This is something else you should have been doing all along. You'll get more of a sense what you're worth. Interviewing and keeping your resume up to date are good skills to maintain whether you get a promotion or another job outside the company.

If your company is willing to promote people who put in their notice, it's a sign you need to be more aggressive or this company just doesn't know what they're doing.

Answer 6

Just as he was about to leave our Managing Director went to a competitor, so to avoid the problem of losing so many staff in one go they gave him a pay rise and ...

• Check the job market and assess other company's interest in you prior to speaking up too loudly, unless you can afford to quit first and look for work later (taking what you get, possibly temporarily).

• Follow the other's lead if that's the only technique that works on the owner (they only speak one language).

• After the part where you wrote: "... a pay rise and ..." ...

  No "and", just the money; the only 'and' is that the tail doesn't wag the dog; promotion or not you are senior, or sayōnara.

I've been strung along and promised things which have now been given to somebody else, who is much younger than me and who I trained, and who in a lot of respects I see as being junior to me.

A good magician doesn't tell his secrets.

You've been feeding him "I know about this and I know about that", the opposite of brown nosing, and he's been eating it up.

You've not just shown him the ropes but gift wrapped them too, now you're getting hung with them.

You may well have been strung along but you've strung yourself up; or allowed the new guy to learn how to do it.

What if all he could do was brown nose the owner, rub his feet and fetch coffee - would he have still received the promotion or would it have gone to you.

Eight or more years to be at one place is OK but only if you continue advancing somehow: great raises, great promotions, or part of your easiest duties outsourced (less work, but you're still indispensable).

If you're not gaining knowledge, money, or less annoying tasks it's time to start looking around; in your case, years ago.

Get your ducks in a row first, before you start firing off.

If leaving needs to be a "two year plan" so be it, that's what they call being stuck there; and in that time there might be the improvement you seek (or adequate compensation) - if not you'll be ready to roll (and it will be their loss, not so much yours).

Answer 7

Ask your manager what the company needs to see from you over the next year to justify a promotion. Then make sure you deliver that, without letting other obligations lapse.

(I admit I didn't read the body of the question. But really, this is the only answer for the subject line. Details need to be worked out between you and manglement, but it really is this easy, and this hard.)