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I have recently graduated with a degree in IT and am tailoring my CV.

I have written the introduction/objective part but I don't know what I have written is not professional enough or if its too over the top.

I've seen so many CV's/Resumes that have the same old

I am a team player that thrives in a challenging environment

kind of opening statement

I want them to see my passion, so I like to be more out there but I don't want to scare them away.

Here is my introduction to my CV:

My passion is software development, I love it so much that its what I want to make my career out of. I love learning every chance I get and putting my newly found skills into practice by developing apps during my own time.

I would love the opportunity to work for a company whose team is dedicated to writing beautiful software and that goes above and beyond that of which is expected all out of pure passion for software development.

EDIT After reading through the comments I have rewritten it accordin to suggestions by focusing more on my skills and experience:

I am a recent graduate with a strong background in both Information Technology and Adaptability. Not only have I achieved Bachelor of IT and gained additional experience through online courses and self-driven projects, but I also specialize in full stack software development (.NET and open source). I take pride in leading new initiatives, collaborating efficiently with my team, and look forward to contributing towards a respected history of software development at a dedicated and grounded company.

What I would like to know:

  • Is this professional?
  • Should I tone it down a little with the enthusiasm?

closed as off-topic by Lilienthal, Masked Man, rath, Jan Doggen, gnat Jan 12 '17 at 12:22

This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:

  • "Questions asking for advice on what to do are not practical answerable questions (e.g. "what job should I take?", or "what skills should I learn?"). Questions should get answers explaining why and how to make a decision, not advice on what to do. For more information, click here." – Lilienthal, Masked Man, rath
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    If I were recruiting, I'd rather read your than another generic CV. That said, maybe this is better placed on the cover letter? – JohnHC Jan 12 '17 at 9:58
  • It's a bit long, but good message. What you need is hard data. In other words, evidence-based, factual, not opinions or weasel words. I found this video extremely helpful and insightful; it has "before" and "after" examples from IT resumes that were rewritten. I don't know to what extent this applies to CVs (especially the intro part), but it's very helpful data anyway. – Wildcard Jan 12 '17 at 10:18
  • Resume advice or review is off-topic. VTC. Perhaps if you reword this to "Can you be too enthusiastic on your resume intro?" it's more suitable for the site. – Lilienthal Jan 12 '17 at 10:26
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    Why not get rid of that objective entirely? What purpose does it serve? "I love software development and want to make a career out of it" ... as does every CS graduate. "I would love to work for a company that ... blah blah", so does everyone else. Don't waste space in the resume writing cliches. – Masked Man Jan 12 '17 at 10:28
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    FWIW, as a hiring manager I generally skip this "fluff" at the beginning of a CV. If you don't have experience below to back it up, it is meaningless, and if you do I don't need to read it here. Also, "I love it so much that its what I want to make my career out of" that's probably obvious to most readers since you are likely applying for a development job – cdkMoose Jan 12 '17 at 15:49
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Overall, a presentation of your motivation and your career orientation is professional, and enthusiasm is often a sought-after quality. However, this seems a bit wordy for a CV.

This could have a very negative consequence. If you are using 6 lines out of the 40 from your CV to express motivation, this means you only have 34 lines worth of experience, skills, and formation. Some recruiters might thing that your introduction statement is just a way to hide the emptiness of your CV.

The goal of the CV is to collect synthetic and factual information, in a short format. By reading the CV, the recruiter wants to know the following : "Does this candidature have the skills and experience for the job ?". If your skills/experience match, then he will delve into your cover letter, which is the right place to express motivations and enthusiasm.

What you wrote is perfectly valid for a cover letter. If you absolutely want to emphasize this, you could add it to your application email.

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