How can I stop my ex-boss from still 'bossing' around?

Question

This is a continuation of my earlier post here.

Summary: I flagged potentially reputation-damaging mistake to my supervisor. They refused to acknowledge that it was an error, and based their decision on the advice of a co-worker who had out-dated knowledge and experience. Based on the advice of SE, I let it go and documented everything carefully.

Now: It turned out that the mistake, left ignored, blew up and then caused a huge amount of trouble for the company recently; I'll not include details here. My supervisor, who made the call to ignore the issue against my advice, predictably attempted to throw me under the bus. However, as I had everything documented (thank you SE), I was able to prove to higher management that I was not at fault. Of course, my supervisor was then asked to step down from their position, which they did. I was then promoted, so we have essentially swapped roles.

Problem: My ex-supervisor, whom I still maintain contact with for work purposes, is left quite bitter about this and refuses to stop 'being the boss' around me. This includes things like

• Asking me about details regarding X and Y project, which they no longer have any involvement in.
• Having a 'bossy' and condescending tone towards me when in front of co-workers.

Question: What is a professional way of saying

You were asked to step down for a reason. Please accept that and stop trying to interfere with my work and professional relationships.

It may also be worth, or not, reminding them that the only reason they got the job (supervisor) was because I turned it down and the company needed to find somebody else. So their condescension is highly misplaced. However, I feel that this last bit is moreso a personal response provided out of bitterness, rather than a professional response.

Answer 1

In my view, the ideal response - if you can carry it out - is to completely ignore the past, pretend it didn't happen, and pretend you always have been their boss.

To Q1: "This is taken care of, thank you for asking."

To Q2: "Thank you for your contribution. We will proceed as follows ...[saying what you have in mind]".

Both in an even and unperturbed tone. It requires some nerve to keep this going. Treat condescension with the tolerance you would offer a whiny kid who is disappointed with his Christmas present; because, in a way, that's what they are.

Answer 2

Pull him aside and tell him in no uncertain terms that he will NOT do anything to undermine your authority, especially in front of coworkers. If it happens again, he will be written up or taken to HR, or whatever procedures your company has in place.

You have the authority, now you have to demonstrate it. If he asks about things he has no right to know about, shut him down. "I'm sorry, but that's none of your concern". When he tries to boss you, or anyone else around say "You are overstepping your authority, please, drop this subject". or "No, I'm making the decision here, I will listen to your input, however."

You need to be the Alpha here.

When he starts up, shut him down and do so quickly. Do not be rude or abusive just be firm and don't leave room for debate. "We need to take this offline" or "I think this is a conversation for another time" or "I'm going to need to cut you off here."

Assert your power and he'll come in line.

Continue to document everything as he may not have learned his lesson, and you may need to build a disciplinary file for his eventual termination.

Answer 3

I am reminded of this exchange from the movie version of The Odd Couple:

Felix Ungar: In other words, you're throwin' me out.

Oscar Madison: Not in other words. Those are the perfect ones!

There just isn't a more professional way of saying

You were asked to step down for a reason. Please accept that and stop trying to interfere with my work and professional relationships.

You are correct that it would be unprofessional to bring up the fact that the only reason he got the supervisor job was because you turned it down. This is no longer relevant.