I am a female programmer who is an introvert. My lead is a male who is an extrovert. We are a team of two and we both started in this company at the same time couple of months back and my lead is new to the leadership role. Also we are in almost same age group, late twenties.
We have several conflicts since the beginning but I didn't express myself because my lead is new to his role thinking I should have some patience, hoping things will get better soon. I feel
- Things are not communicated well to me
- I'm not allowed to work independent and he is imposing
- I'm pushed down or made to feel inferior
- I'm not getting enough support from him and he shows frustration
- My opinion is not even asked for making decisions
- He don't care much about the team and he is much into getting his things done.
I think part of the reason for the issue is he is new to leadership and other part is because of the personality differences we have(introvert and extrovert)
He somehow sensed that I'm not happy and he said he will make things better. He started to take some steps towards that and we both started to take honest steps to build relationship though we haven't open up yet.
After that, I reached my saturation point twice in two different incidents and exploded. Now he is frustrated and freaking out what the hell went wrong but he is bit hesitant to ask directly. We had social drinks in the office recently and looks like he tried to talk to me and he asked me to grab a drink but being an introvert, I was overwhelmed by the people around and said no thanks. I really feel bad about this and this might have sound rude to him.
He is a good person and do respect him a lot. Though we both have good intentions somehow it is not conveyed properly. I have spoken to my lead's boss and he assured he will help us.
- Shall I behave normal and wait for my lead's boss to address the issue or
- Shall I apologize for being rude during drinks to my boss, discuss the concerns I have and say directly that I'm an introvert, things work different for me, it takes time to warm up, get comfortable and open up or
- Both of the points above?