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Is there anything wrong in this message? Please suggest the changes if there are any to improve this message.

Dear employer,

Look at my resume and cover letter. It’ll tell you all about me. I really want this job.

Your's Sincerely,

XYZ.

Any good suggestions would be appreciated!

closed as primarily opinion-based by gnat, IDrinkandIKnowThings, Chris E, Mister Positive, Chris G Mar 21 '17 at 17:31

Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

  • It looks like spam to me. – WorkerWithoutACause Mar 21 '17 at 12:03
  • We aren't a writing service. I'd suggest editing your question to focus on an answerable question like "What should my email say when I'm sending in a separately attached resume and cover letter?". – Lilienthal Mar 21 '17 at 12:17
  • @Lilienthal thanks for the advice, I've updated the title please check. – Rahul Hendawe Mar 21 '17 at 12:20
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    @RahulHendawe The implication behind that title is that you're not sure what, if anything, the body of the mail should contain as you'd be repeating what you've said in the cover letter that you've chosen to add as an attachment. If that is your question you should update the body. If your question is more generic, such as "How do I apply for a job via mail?" then that's a rather trivial question but I suppose it's still on-topic. – Lilienthal Mar 21 '17 at 12:42
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    I had a look at the search and your question is probably a duplicate of one of the following: When applying to a job via e-mail what do you put in the message? or When sending resume and cover letter in an email, what to put in the email body?. Note that the latter question is closed, suggesting it's not a good question for the site, which the downvotes you're getting also seem to indicate. – Lilienthal Mar 21 '17 at 13:18
2

I would go something like the below

Dear Employer,

Please find attached my Resume and Cover Letter for position XXX. If you require any more information from me regarding my application for this role then please feel free to contact me.

Kind Regards

XXX

Your email in the question isn't really professional in its tone.

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