When I first started in the company I was specifically told by my boss who is the owner that they wanted someone long term and who wasn't going to jump ship. I nodded and said I understand that but after 9 months working here my boss has treated me pretty unfairly - conditions have worsened between us to the point that I am now leaving. How can I perform my duties to the best of my ability when I'm 80% certain he is going to make the two weeks a living hell?

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    Possible duplicate of How can one resign from a new job gracefully?. I know this is not a total duplicate and that we are already prepared to burn this bridge, but I do want you to take a look at this post because if we put ourselves in the shoes of our boss, then this is the high road to prevent a backlash. Meanwhile, perhaps we could minimize damage, but I don't know how we would prevent total backlash since we're not the other person :/. Mar 23 '17 at 9:13
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    If he wants someone who is not going to jump ship, then it's up to him to create an environment where that's not likely to happen. This is not your problem so don't let it worry you. The simple fact that he even raised the issue strongly implies that it's happened before and it's a pattern he needs to fix.
    – brhans
    Mar 23 '17 at 12:32
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    Everyone everywhere wants people who will never ever jump ship. That is not in line with reality and should be generally ignored. It's (probably) mostly pushed as a tactic to bully people into staying longer than they want to. Mar 23 '17 at 14:38
  • If he was so keen on keeping you long term, he should have offered a longer notice period, or financial incentives for you to keep your job (e.g. stock vesting over a period of time). The 2-week notice period cuts both ways. You could be left without a job on a short notice, or you could resign in the least suitable moment. This is life. Mar 24 '17 at 12:18
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    @JoeStrazzere has the right of it: Do your job, ignore his problems, go home and drink a cold beverage and relax at the end of the day and tick another box off the calendar. IF he is dumb and gets blatantly abusive about it, document until you can't take anymore, then walk and deal with it that way. He'd hate to have to face a civil suit because he couldn't stay civil for 2 weeks. Mar 24 '17 at 15:28

You don't owe him anything! and remember you and your boss are not in a romantic relationship, but rather working together as a professional.

Meet him face 2 face and tell him you have made this decision with much of thought. Thank him for everything he has done for you, and let him know you hope to see his support and encouragement for the remaining 2 weeks.

Worst come to worst, you're gonna have 2 weeks of hard time in your office, but eventually you will overcome with it! :)

P.S try not to criticize him by telling him you have been treated unfairly. Doing that would guarantee a 2 weeks of hell!

  • haha I would never say that to him! I have put in my letter thanking him for opportunity and learning experience and that I wish him and the business well. I worry for his wife who runs all the technical side and already has a stressful job and me leaving will make it worse
    – Eden
    Mar 23 '17 at 2:57
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    Whether it makes it worse or better is nothing that you should have concerns about! so, just go ahead with your plans and don't think to much. All the best!
    – comxyz
    Mar 23 '17 at 2:59
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    @Eden if you leaving will make her work harder, it's her fault. She was there to shield you from unfair situations and to sweeten the deal to make you stay. She failed at management. Too late. But any hardship she will have is due to her own incompetence.
    – Mołot
    Mar 23 '17 at 6:03
  • @Eden She needs to recognize that it's probably her husband who is the problem - any hardship she suffers is his doing and she should address it with him.
    – brhans
    Mar 23 '17 at 12:34
  • Worst case, which you should prepare for, your boss immediately excuses you from the building. Proceed with caution.
    – Ronnie W
    Mar 23 '17 at 21:20

Take 10 days one at a time. Not a big deal.

No rule you have to perform your duties to the best of your ability.

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    I want to leave on good terms, regardless of my boss being ruthless.
    – Eden
    Mar 23 '17 at 2:47
  • You cannot change your boss.
    – paparazzo
    Mar 23 '17 at 9:16
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    @Paparazzi Eden is right. This is the attitude of a professional, no matter how unprofessional the boss is. It's not about the boss, it is about the OP. Hell or no hell, you do your job with honest high quality to the end of your employment. Mar 23 '17 at 9:37
  • @CaptainEmacs Edin is right. Righteous.
    – paparazzo
    Mar 23 '17 at 10:03
  • You should always perform your duties in a manner consistent with the amount you're being paid to perform them, I always say. That may or may not be to the best of your abilities, depending on your abilities and your salary. Mar 23 '17 at 12:48

I would proceed with caution and look out for you.

I would say you should consider not giving a two weeks notice. I am not saying I recommend it, but it's worth considering depending on the situation. Your mileage may vary.

At my last job I was certain of the same situation when I was leaving. I tried to be professional and give 2 weeks. Sure enough it was hell, and then my boss excused me just a couple days refusing to pay me for the remaining time on my contract. I had already given the start date at my new job so I was out of almost 2 weeks salary. If I could go back, I wouldn't have given a notice. My boss was a spiteful person so there was no way they were ever going to be a positive reference anyway. So you have to ask yourself :

What do I have to gain/lose by giving notice?


I would start with:

"You are probably going to think I am nothing but a disloyal low life and a horrible person".

The goal of that statement is for him to disagree with you, so all of a sudden you are not a horrible low life, but a good person.

Then when talking with him you need to use some key phrases:

  • Thank you so much for this opportunity
  • I hate to be leaving but the new opportunity is too good to pass up.
  • Over the next 12 days I will give you 80 hours of the best work I can. I will do this to be fair to you.

No matter how you felt you were treated, he wants to feel like you were treated well. Fine, play into that, who cares. Say these things deferentially.

At no time mention that you were treated unfairly. At no time attempt to fix his work space. The story you are trying to sell is that the only reason you are leaving is because the new opportunity is to good to pass up.

He may ask you for a number on what you have been offered at the new position. Do your best not to give a number. If he really corners you, you can simply decline to answer or if you must answer give a range that is very high. For example lets say you are being paid 50K now and the new job has offered you 70K. I would say I'd say something like: "I value the salary and new benefits to be in the 140K to 150K range".

This is not lying. Why? Because you value of not putting up with his attitude at 70-80K per year.

He of course will be shocked, and of course you can reply: "I know how could I turn down such an opportunity"? Now he is on your side.

Your goal is to get out of there amicably as possible.

  • This is probably one of the worst answers I have ever seen. Mar 24 '17 at 7:48
  • Admittingly, it takes a lot to see the wisdom in this answer. The overriding goal is to leave this employer with as little as pain as possible. Perhaps you have not encountered such egomanics, but this kind of thing placates them in the short term, which is all that is needed.
    – Pete B.
    Mar 24 '17 at 11:54
  • It's just straight up lying. The first sentence is really bad and you are telling your boss that he is right. Instead he should explain why he is gonna leave and what the problems were. This way his boss can actually learn something. Mar 24 '17 at 13:12
  • And that is the crux of our disagreement. You are assuming that the boss is willing to learn something. Most of the egomanics I have run across are only interested in bending your will towards theirs, and are completely unwilling to participate in learning from anyone else, let alone a lowly employee. We can agree that it is unhealthy behavior, but it is not the OP's responsibility to change the boss's behavior only to get out of there as painlessly as possible. I would disagree that any of it is a lie. One should be thankful anytime they receive a paycheck.
    – Pete B.
    Mar 24 '17 at 13:34

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