Thank you for helping with this - How do I handle conflict with an extrovert boss?. I did work on my communication and I started talking more to my lead sharing updates on what am I doing and asking his feedback and thoughts. This seem to work really well and he is happy and started to share more stuff with me. Now I'm here with a different problem.
Short background: We are a team of two programmers(lead and I) working for a small company.
We were working on a project and when the project was supposed to go live, my lead had to take off for few days but he was happy to help me if I need and I was the only person responsible for that which I don't have any issues with.
We were doing final testing and we identified an issue which is an environment thing which we are well aware of. As this is the final round of testing, this had got much attention in our organisation level and since we found an issue,it made my manager(lead's boss) involved because my lead is not here. I wasn't much worried about the issue because it was something I am aware of and I know how to fix it. I explained this to my manager but he did not seemed to be convinced and he wanted to be tested in live - Ideally in the live environment with out touching live system. In fact we did have a discussion with my manager when my lead was here and agreed not to do any testing on Prod.
I strongly disagreed to that because this is something we tried earlier and didn't go well which he is well aware of. Lot of things are manual and there are high chances things may go wrong because already I'm on stress of all the happenings, after all I'm a human. We do have other environments for testing like dev, test and pre-prod and I don't understand in having all other environments if he wanted to do testing in prod. But he didn't convince and he wanted to get prod ready so the testing can happen. Finally I agreed to do but it was very stressful for me.
On the next day, my manager kept on adding things to be tested in prod which made me upset because though we were not touching live system, we were still playing in live environment for testing and he wanted me to do lot of tweaks for testing and his list keeps on changing. This made me go mad and I was firm that I would not make any further changes in live for testing and after several conversations and arguments, I managed to get him agreed not to touch prod until the project go live but it was very hard for me to get him agreed.
My manager call himself a technical person, well, he do understand technical things but most of the times he is pushy onto a point where we cannot achieve something due to technical/environmental or other complexities and he keeps changing things. Always it's my lead who protect me from all these things and they both seem to have good understanding. I have a feeling my manager didn't convince easily because he didn't trust me or I didn't put my reasons in the correct way.
My lead was back and I did tell him what had happened. On the day we went live, he asked me if we could get things ready in prod in advance(not for testing though) and it made me furious because I fought so hard with my manager not to touch prod till we go live. I was strong and sort of rude and said I don't prefer doing it. He listened to me and we didn't touch the prod till we go live and the project went successfully
Now the problem is my lead behaves differently after the incident and I think he feels I am not happy and having concerns and not telling that to him. Well, I was unhappy about that incident and I had to fight hard with my manager and since my lead asked me to do the same it made me upset. I am happy to talk to him and apologise because he is the one who always supports me and we are just a team of two but this is something to do with my manager which he has very less control on.
I want to apologise or explain myself to my lead and this will be the third time I'm apologising for going mad in the last 5 months. Lead and I didn't have good relationship before 2 months and we both started working towards better communication and things were very smooth for the last 2 months till before this incident.So to apologise, I think I should give assurance that the same thing won't happen again. But this is something which I have no control on and I am forced to do. I am working on handling my emotions better. How can I better explain my position to my lead?
Frequent change of things in our organisation drives me crazy, means we agree on something but things keep on changing till the last minute which adds more stress to me. A good example is we did agree not to test in prod but I was forced to help testing in prod and then more things in addition to that. Is there anything I can do to handle frequent changes better?