I recently recommended my friend to my systems manager for a technical support role, because I had already worked with him on networks and support and I taught him myself. He was hired. Since he started working here, there has not been a day when he does not receive a complaint from the systems analyst (his superior) about his performance. Every day I indicate the points that he should change in order to improve his work environment, but it seems to me that he is not listening.

I emphasize that before he started working here, the manager told me: he is going to work here because you gave him as a reference, and you will be responsible for him (maybe he was joking). Am I really responsible? What can I do?

  • You used to work with your friend, was he competent then?
    – sh5164
    Commented May 29, 2017 at 15:35
  • Yes, I worked with him and did well. But there is a big difference between work together and work with a manager. As new employee, he should not tell the boss how the work must be done. @sh5164
    – Juanche
    Commented May 29, 2017 at 15:49
  • 1
    @Juanche I've seen that sort of scenario play out twice in my professional career: people who work well as peers can be management nightmares when the peer dynamic changes to manager-subordinate.
    – Cloud
    Commented May 30, 2017 at 1:42
  • 1
    @Juanche you can't ask a second question in your edit. Please remove the second question and make a new question. If you feel that question needs this question for context, put a link to this question in the new one Commented Jun 28, 2017 at 13:55
  • 1
    I have removed the second question, as @SaggingRufus mentioned you should ask a new question for it.
    – Erik
    Commented Jun 28, 2017 at 14:04

2 Answers 2


Regardless of whether your manager was joking or not: you are not responsible for your friend. You may have recommended him, but the company you both work for is responsible for hiring him. Having said that, if his performance is not good this may reflect poorly on you, so be careful with recommendations.

As for the advice that you give him: if he doesn't listen to it than that's his loss, and there isn't much you can do about it.


A smart reply would be to jokingly say that the manager hires and that you're in charge of terminations. Then everyone is happy with all the fun and good natured humor.

Does the Manager take responsibility for the other people that the owner hires? It's common to hire other friends or family of existing employees and then say it is their responsibility. If they hired the person "no questions asked" then it's fair, if they grilled them then they should accept most of the responsibility having done the vetting.

  • 2
    If they hired the person with no questions asked, then they should take the responsibility for not having properly vetted them.
    – Student
    Commented May 29, 2017 at 17:57

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