Another angle to this may be Expectation Management
When you are aware that you are going to be approached you about progress in a project, it is worth making sure that you ensure that everybody understands the reality of your time estimates and your expected delivery dates.
You should ensure that written records of those Estimates and expected delivery dates are kept, that they are also revisited regularly so that those involved with the project aren't working with outdated information, and that changes are communicated effectively to everybody involved.
Consider an alternative scenario where this information has been kept updated properly, and the manager has previously been informed about the time required and expected delivery date:
Developer: Sir I just did big feature.
Manager: And I guess other big feature isn't done yet ?
Developer: The estimated delivery date as we've previously discussed and recorded in the project schedule for that feature is {day} of {month}. I'm on track to meet that target and will let you know if we discover any new issues that could affect that estimate.
Of course, you can only make these kinds of statements if you have already been proactive in communicating when dates slip. That may lead to other uncomfortable discussions about why estimates or dates are wrong, but that's a different problem to solve.
Alternatively, if your team operates on the basis of priorities rather than concrete delivery dates:
Developer: Have the priorities changed? When we started the current sprint everybody agreed that the other feature would be completed at a lower priority than this one.
As others have mentioned, while the Manager's attitude may create a poisonous atmosphere, some of it may be that they simply have a poor understanding of software project management (Risks, Priorities, Sprints, Estimates, Expected Delivery Dates, etc.).
Your best course of action is to remain professional by focusing on these aspects about the project deliverables rather than allowing discussion to degenerate into a "blame game" type discussion where the conversation focuses on people rather than the product.
The manager is of course being unprofessional by steering the discussion in this direction, but if you have failed to set those expectations properly, which could include lack of communication when you realise that estimates are wrong or deadlines will be missed, then you're open to this kind of attack, which could look like a manager holding you to account.
If you can manage expectations then you can focus discussion on the deliverable itself and the estimated delivery date. By being pro-active with communication and managing expectations you are covering yourself against accusations of negligence/incompetence. Focusing any discussion on deliverables and expected delivery dates often helps in diffusing 'blame' tension by moving the focus away from anything which might be related to your personal competence.
Am I overthinking this and being whiny?
is yes.