I believe this is a common question around here, but my story has a bit of a twist.

A few months back a couple of companies (say A and B) contacted me for some interesting roles. Company B sounds better than company A, but after a couple of email exchanges, they went silent. I continued my talks with company A.

The role for company A is a little bit more entry-level, not really what I'm looking for (career-wise), but the package is way better than what I currently earn. They did not offer as much as I asked for, but they did try to match by throwing in some other perks, partial home office and (very important) a part time job for my partner. My partner has a great education (Masters), more years of experience than I do, but was unable to find a proper job for the past year since we moved here (for my current job). Has been working shit jobs, minimum wage, no contract, etc. Wants and needs a proper job (even part-time).

So it sounds like a no brainer. We both signed the contracts and I quit my current job. I expect to start there in a couple of months and my partner in a couple of weeks.

Now comes the hard part.

I haven't heard anything from company B, until today. They called me, I had a great talk with a couple of technical leads and I expect to get an offer soon. The job is Senior level, and more related to my experience and my "projected" career path. My job "satisfaction" will be better, probably the money will be better, but most likely they will not offer my partner anything...

I didn't tell them I signed already with company A. Should I? If yes, now or when I have an offer from them? If I tell company A that I will not be joining their team anymore, how would that affect my partner? They can cancel the contract without giving a reason within 2 weeks in the probation period...

I'm torn about this. Please advice.

PS: I live in Germany.

closed as off-topic by Masked Man, paparazzo, DarkCygnus, Carson63000, gnat Sep 19 '17 at 9:24

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  • 5
    I think you can figure out all the possible permutations for yourself, so, with those in mind, I think you should start by talking to your partner. – Strawberry Sep 18 '17 at 13:48
  • Legally, in the first 6 months (probation) either party can "cancel" without giving a reason with a 2 week notice. Or, if the employer is okay with it, they can accept my decision and just cancel the contract before I even start working there. – nailua Sep 18 '17 at 14:03
  • 2
    The only reason to tell company B now would be so they speed up their process. There's no point in telling them after you've gotten an offer from them. We can't tell you whether your partner would lose their opportunity, only company A knows that (but it seems not unlikely). – Dukeling Sep 18 '17 at 14:06
  • 1
    I would hold off on worrying about this until you actually get an offer from Company B. Don't tell them about Company A, just assert what you're looking for if they ask about your salary expectations. – LeLetter Sep 18 '17 at 21:30

If I tell company A that I will not be joining their team anymore, how would that affect my partner?

They brought on your partner as a perk to obtain your services. If you leave, there is a good chance they may kick your partner to the curb. If you are offered the senior position, I would do it from the perspective that your partner will lose their job. ( the prepared for the worst approach )

The worst of this is not just the new gig for you, but how will your partner feel if they lose their job as a consequence of you moving up to a more Senior role? I am not sure taking the new role now is worth it to you as a couple.

Consider your partner, you may want to consider staying put for now until they become more established.

  • If it wasn't for the 2-in-1 offer, I would jump to the Senior position without much thought. But I am considering my partner, it was a hard year... – nailua Sep 18 '17 at 13:59
  • @nailua Does the Sr position make up for both in terms of salary? – Mister Positive Sep 18 '17 at 13:59
  • Most probably not. – nailua Sep 18 '17 at 14:01
  • 2
    @nailua Consider staying put until your partner is established. – Mister Positive Sep 18 '17 at 14:01
  • 1
    @nailua The workplace isn't necessarily a place for relationship advice, but my two cents is that now that you are a couple, you would have to think about your actions not in terms of how it would impact yourself, but both of you. A change of mindset from the singular me to the plural we. – Frank FYC Sep 18 '17 at 21:47

I didn't tell them I signed already with company A. Should I? If yes, now or when I have an offer from them?

I think you should wait till you have an offer to explain in detail your situation while you discuss with your partner all the possibilities. If you are honest about your situation you might have the chance that they offer something similar like the other company, and in the worst case they will tell you that the offer its only for you.

The other question was correctly answered by mr positive i guess, so i will skip that part

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