Questions tagged [bullying]

Questions relating to abusive / intimidating behaviour in the workplace

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144
votes
15answers
30k views

Senior architect lashing out when junior developer asks questions. What to do?

I'm a female developer and I've been working at my current employer for 4 months. I’m new to the technology and to the business domain. I basically don’t know much about anything. I am working on the ...
137
votes
13answers
25k views

Bullying boss launched a smear campaign and made me unemployable

My boss has a history of bullying multiple people in the past to work crazy hours to meet absolutely unrealistic deadlines which have led to numerous cases of serious depression and even one (...
119
votes
5answers
18k views

How to respond to manager's demand to remove CV from Job site?

My daughter is desperately unhappy with her employer and is looking for another job. Her CV is posted on several sites (like Monster) and today her line manager has told her that she has until 4pm to ...
79
votes
9answers
17k views

Handling interview with manipulative colleague from past job

At my new company, I've done well for myself, but one of the engineers from my last company (a senior one that was buddy-buddy with the CEO of Miserable Company Inc.) is applying to my current company....
64
votes
10answers
27k views

Co-Worker sabotages my work life

This is happening in central Europe. So basically I got this co-worker (let's call her Stacy) who regularly tries to undermine me. She disrupts my work, puts me in a bad light and doesn't cooperate ...
64
votes
7answers
12k views

Supervisor “Jokingly” Slapped my bum

I was getting ready to leave my Christmas party when my supervisor (both of us are women) grabbed then slapped my ass quite hard. In her head I think she meant this as a joke, but that combined with ...
59
votes
5answers
13k views

How can I stop my boss in Germany from bullying me without worsening my future job prospects?

I am a foreigner who recently started a minimum wage job in Germany that I think I can't replace easily at all. My employer has been behaving strangely, for example by being very friendly and offering ...
57
votes
8answers
15k views

At new job coworker acts aggressively as a joke

I started a new job at a call center recently. The office is quite large and the company itself has about 50,000 employees. There's one guy I sit close to who is making me uncomfortable and ...
50
votes
6answers
8k views

My colleague treats me like he's my boss, yet we're on the same level

I started my current role a few months ago as an analyst, joining another person who had started one month before me, with the very same job title. He's two years older than me, but he treats me like ...
49
votes
12answers
15k views

Coworkers constantly make fun of my buying habits

I work in a small startup of 10 people in a house converted to an office that's spread across 3 floors. I am friendly with all coworkers including people from another startup that's sharing the space. ...
48
votes
7answers
14k views

Does being told you're not liked and asked to quit meet the legal definition of harassment under the UK Equality Act of 2010?

I've been looking at the UK Equality Act 2010 act and it says harassment is unwanted or unwelcome behaviour which is meant to or has the effect of violating your dignity. If people literally come up ...
44
votes
7answers
13k views

What are the pros and cons of escalating a personnel conflict issue to HR?

I work in a field where my work must be reviewed by a more senior colleague. This colleague is not my direct line-manager. On a number of occasions he has questioned my ability, and that of another ...
43
votes
9answers
10k views

How should I deal with bullying while looking for a new job?

I'm working as a (female) IT technician in a worldwide company (located in Central Europe, Austria). I've been here 1.5 years. I'm turning 21 this month, so it's my first job. The basic work is okay, ...
34
votes
4answers
8k views

Falsely accused by two people turning a heated argument saying I was aggressive

For the past 3 yrs I have been goaded and harassed on a daily basis by two managers, even though I've been there 14 yrs. I bit their bait and had a row with them but I didn't swear or use bad ...
33
votes
4answers
4k views

How do I distance myself from a clique that's constantly mocking my colleagues?

There is a small group of people in the office who have formed a clique of sorts. They go out to eat together, constantly talk to or IM each other, have inside jokes, all sorts of fun stuff. When I ...
32
votes
7answers
32k views

How to deal with a colleague who mocks me

A member of the team I work with is a guy who considers himself "super-smart". He makes snide remarks to me for no specific reason. I have not previously had any such problems with others, so I can't ...
29
votes
11answers
12k views

How can I deal with an abusive manager who publicly belittles me?

I joined my job as an entry level programmer and my manager at the time agreed with me that I could attend college to increase my programming abilities. This would happen whilst working for him and ...
28
votes
3answers
3k views

Employee's Relative and Theft from the Workplace

We recently had some public strikes and protests in Brazil which caused some major inconveniences all around. One of those inconveniences was the lack of public transport for today, so my direct boss (...
22
votes
8answers
2k views

How to hold a strong mentality if your boss is bullying you at work?

I'll try to be fair and explain the entire situation, if I am at fault please tell me. Till a few weeks ago everything with work was fine, until I started taking too long to finish a task and my boss ...
21
votes
3answers
6k views

Dealing with boss and his request to (male) employees including myself, how to handle this right? [closed]

I work for a small firm here in Minnesota; only 30 people work there. Well, 27 men, 3 women. I[m a 37 year old guy, married, to my wife, 34, with a 14 year old daughter in highschool. Our boss (a ...
21
votes
8answers
3k views

How do you forgive/let go/move on from a bully ex employer

It’s been about 7 months since I was fired from a startup where the COO was bullying me into leaving. For instance: I was ambushed into meeting rooms a few times where he’d point a finger and tell ...
21
votes
5answers
9k views

How do I stop a rude co-worker from making aggressive/rude/embarrassing comments and keep my respect?

I am a manager with several direct reports. My manager also manages another team. One of his direct reports is continually rude to me in front of other employees. We have a work from home policy, and ...
20
votes
6answers
3k views

I am a new employee and HR is picking on me. How to establish myself as un-bullyable early on?

I recently started a job at an engineering company and I am the only female on my team. I have the impression that the female HR manager is trying to put me down. She never does this to the newbie ...
19
votes
6answers
9k views

How to respond when a senior manager uses pressure to prioritize his stuff?

My orders come through a somewhat matrix-style command structure. I report to one technical line manager, who decides and defines how things should be done from a technical point of view, but also ...
18
votes
3answers
7k views

Coworker being disrespectful in meetings and other areas

I was recently promoted to a lead position of a sales team with several direct reports under me. My manager also has a team, mainly support staff, who do not report to me. One of his employees ...
18
votes
1answer
12k views

Colleague keeps trying to set me up to fail and discredit me

I have been working at my company for around 9 months. It is small place and I am having problems with a woman I work with. I was brought in with a couple of other people to drastically expand the ...
16
votes
3answers
3k views

Dealing with verbal abuse from technical project manager [closed]

I joined this company a month ago in China as a software development intern, having worked at two previous internships prior (in the US). I am having issues working with my technical project manager ...
16
votes
5answers
3k views

Senior colleague mocking voice and accent [closed]

I have been working in the US for over 10 years. My accent isn't thick anymore and people don't have a hard time understanding me. My level of English is fluent at this point. In all my jobs, I feel ...
15
votes
7answers
2k views

Should I report a former managers abuse?

So I recently left a job where I was being bullied pretty badly. Now I've found a better job, and I'm happy I left, but I'm wondering whether I should lodge a complaint against the manager who acted ...
14
votes
4answers
4k views

Quit job because of bullying; don't know what to tell prospective employers

Back in January 2018 I quit my job because of my department manager's constant bullying. He used to almost always make fun of my weight: He once told me that maybe if I had lost some weight, I would ...
12
votes
2answers
3k views

Prospective employer “begging” me for a second chance

Unusual situation here. I was contacted for a "dream role" at a small company. I have been searching for a similar role for a long time and these type of roles are very competitive so I was very ...
11
votes
3answers
14k views

How to deal with a sneaky competitive colleague? [closed]

As a member of a small team of six communication professionals, I value working independently while being a strong team player. I enjoy training colleagues and in particular mentoring younger team ...
11
votes
4answers
5k views

Overheard coworker talking about me

I currently work in a junior position for a big corporation. I recently overheard someone in a senior role making fun of me to other senior people and it has upset me to the point of wanting to leave....
11
votes
3answers
1k views

Staff returning to work after gross misconduct

I was wondering I someone could help me with the below on what paths I can take? I am from the UK. Recently, accusations was made about myself that could ruin the career I am in. The owner of the ...
11
votes
3answers
2k views

Dealing with aggressive co-worker while feeling weak

I'm a foreign woman in Germany working in the IT field, as provider for another company. I sit in an office with a guy who is loud, despises some groups of people, and sometimes even insults me. We ...
10
votes
4answers
2k views

How to handle a workplace bully who often degrades others work?

I work in a small software team. we have this one brilliant programmer who has an opinion about everything. He often comes around looks at the peers' code and make rude comments like "what kind of ...
10
votes
3answers
1k views

Dealing with aggression where contacting HR is discouraged

A female friend of mine has been a victim of verbal abuse and yelling in the workplace today. The aggressor is the partner of my friend in a 2-men software development team. While I don't have the ...
9
votes
3answers
3k views

Stop engineer from planning “bully projects”

I work for a enginering company where a few senior engineers got into a large fight that caused a lot of concern. The more senior engineer "stone walled" the not as senior engineer apparently, and the ...
9
votes
3answers
890 views

Defamation of character

I have been a victim of workplace bullying for over 4 years. My supervisor goes to people and tells them I am rude and anti-social. He did this to me on my 2nd week of starting and told me a colleague ...
8
votes
5answers
2k views

Boss giving criticism about things that are impossible to define or validate e.g “you are not giving your maximum”. Is that bullying? How to address?

I am having problems with my boss. He always criticises me by saying things you cannot validate. For example: you are not giving your maximum. I reply by asking how exactly do you "define" the ...
8
votes
4answers
2k views

Bullying (physically and verbally) by relatives of a manager

I would like to know what is the best way to deal with work colleagues who are physically and verbally abusive to me at work. In this case, the bullies are relatives of the HR manager, who I report to ...
6
votes
5answers
1k views

How to evade work-safe topics when I don't have a culture-safe opinion? [closed]

Politics is moving further and further away from work safe, but sadly, it still comes up every now and then. In my workplace, a few very vocal people are in support of a certain presidential-...
6
votes
3answers
2k views

Defense against HR bully

Today a HR representative (G) made a mistake; she left confidential material in the printer, and someone unknown put it on the desk of the person (P) whose name appears on top of the documents. P went ...
6
votes
3answers
1k views

How to handle a bully developer? [closed]

I find myself stuck in an uncomfortable position at work. There is a developer who is well regarded by management and other devs. For some reason he has developed some animosity towards me and will ...
5
votes
5answers
2k views

Is having a boss this rude normal?

I am currently working at my first "real" job. Everyone is nice, except my boss. When I am talking to him, he will often visibly roll his eyes at me. He also puts me down in front of my coworkers, ...
5
votes
2answers
2k views

How to deal with bullying at work when it has become the company culture? [closed]

I recently changed jobs (and even continent) and believe I'm now at liberty to asking this question. About two tears ago, I received a proposition from a former colleague (lets call him Albert) to ...
5
votes
3answers
879 views

When To Go Over Boss's Head? [duplicate]

Asking on behalf of a friend. We will call her Jane. Jane finds herself as a target for the workplace bully. This bully has caused 2 other members of the team to quit prior to Jane's arrival. 1 ...
5
votes
7answers
2k views

Boss watched me do anonymous survey, treats me different now

My boss was continuously walking past me as I was filling in an anonymous survey, she saw me put a negative comment in about the workplace itself. All day after that she seemed to be picking on me ...
4
votes
5answers
3k views

Bullying at workplace: I'm confused how to take action

This is an issue I'm struggling with for several months, and it's bullying. The bully is a colleague working on the same project as me who calls my name with a certain suffix, and he is very well ...
4
votes
2answers
1k views

How can I best prepare for a meeting with HR about a coworkers Passive-Agressive Conflict with me?

I work with a male coworker who I'd describe as a passive-aggressive bully. He has angry outbursts daily, several times a day, over every little noise in the office. If another coworker coughs, or ...