As of May 31, 2023, we have updated our Code of Conduct.

Questions tagged [conflict]

Questions relating to disagreement or arguments between two parties

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190 votes
11 answers

Coworker throwing cigarettes out of a car, I criticized it and now HR is involved

"On my way to work yesterday, one of my coworkers was driving in front of me on the interstate. This coworker is a smoker. When they finished their cigarette, they flicked it out of the window. I ...
USER_8675309's user avatar
  • 5,115
184 votes
11 answers

How to deal with a coworker who blamed me for the bug that was his fault

I’m relatively new at a job, but have established myself as the “guy” when it comes to a certain web service we use. Our own website integrates with the service. I don’t really work on the site, just ...
Ryan's user avatar
  • 1,401
180 votes
15 answers

How can I deal with troublesome Professional Engineer?

I currently manage a team of quite a few engineers in Canada. Things normally run smoothly, but we've had a serious problem with a senior engineer as of late. This engineer is the sole engineer on ...
user avatar
178 votes
13 answers

Given an ultimatum, threatened with dismissal

I work for a Mobile GIS company in South Africa with roughly 40 or so employees. This is my first job after finishing university. On Wednesday, after working here for about 8 months (and to my immense ...
Jnthndjgr's user avatar
  • 1,289
164 votes
19 answers

How to explain business priorities to a programmer?

I have a recurring disagreement with a programmer about code quality. He insists that all of his code is written to the highest standard (i.e. that it looks just like the examples in the coding styles ...
Benubird's user avatar
  • 3,857
159 votes
11 answers

What to do when during a meeting client's people start to (physically) fight with each other?

I work on a project that requires many on-site meetings at the client's location, with client people from different departments. These departments can be considered as closed silos, where everyone ...
H. W. Bawan's user avatar
155 votes
13 answers

How to handle manager when handing in my notice after lying about not looking for a new job

I have worked at my current place for just shy of a year now - And in the past 4 months, it has been quite rocky. I have had informal counseling and a disciplinary against me. For some background, ...
Goralight's user avatar
  • 1,278
148 votes
12 answers

Engineer refusing to file/disclose patents

We have a senior engineer on our team that routinely excels at his work. In addition to his regular work, our company has a patent program where engineers can write up a patent for a novel idea, and ...
Gen's user avatar
  • 707
140 votes
13 answers

Employer doesn't want to pay me because I took longer than estimated to finish the work

I work as a junior programmer in Slovakia. This is my first job and I have been with the company for less than a year. This month I was working on a feature that was estimated to take about 1 week ...
zOqvxf's user avatar
  • 941
138 votes
26 answers

How can I reply to coworkers who accuse me of automating people out of work?

I work in a small manufacturing company on special projects that automate some processes (primarily design/drafting). This automation is mainly targeted at reducing errors, establishing standards, ...
padleyj's user avatar
  • 651
137 votes
12 answers

How do I politely coexist with a help vampire?

I'm a senior developer at my workplace. A coworker in my sister team… isn't. They're also a textbook help vampire: they face an issue, they don't understand it, they miss the error message, they ...
badp's user avatar
  • 897
133 votes
12 answers

How do I tell my colleagues that the codebase they've built is a total mess and their practices are ancient?

The situation For a few months, I've been working with a new team in a new company. The company offers some web services and the team's role is to develop and maintain those services. Problem #1: ...
user1807's user avatar
  • 1,409
123 votes
9 answers

Colleague blocks change request in peer review because of perceived mistakes in code, but suggested improvements do not work

In the company I work for, change requests go through various steps, including a development step, a peer review step and a testing step. On this particular change request, I have been assigned as a ...
Belle's user avatar
  • 3,662
115 votes
15 answers

Retaining ambitious employee with rare skill set

We hired a talented engineer "Alice" some time back, and she has excelled at everything we throw at her. If she needs to use a new programming language or tool, she buys a book and learns it ...
Villager's user avatar
  • 887
97 votes
7 answers

Manager wants to hire me; HR does not. How to proceed?

I had a talk with the manager of a technical department at a big sized company I've been doing some work with as a consultant. She told me they are looking for technical people and asked if I'd like ...
user avatar
91 votes
13 answers

Got into a (technical) argument with my interviewer - should I apologize?

I had a technical phone interview today where the interviewer and I had a disagreement on a (small, very unimportant) technical detail in my code where he was suggesting one thing and I disagreed and ...
Nitin's user avatar
  • 749
88 votes
24 answers

Accused by the team of "stealing" my role from a colleague: all team members are against me

Two months ago, I was hired as a project and team manager in a multinational consultancy company. I have about 8 years of work experience, but only 6 months as a project manager (I worked before in ...
Edwig's user avatar
  • 677
86 votes
13 answers

Mass resignation (including boss), boss's boss asks for handover of work, boss asks not to. What to do?

I am in a really awkward situation. I work in a small subsidiary company whose parent company is overseas. The parent company is in Singapore and owns our company here in Vietnam. We are completely ...
Hai Nguyen's user avatar
82 votes
10 answers

How to respond to your boss's email about a coworker's accusation?

There was a very serious conflict this morning with a coworker which resulted in an angry email from by boss with an accusation that isn't true. How do I handle this without sounding juvenile? Here's ...
Wes Sayeed's user avatar
  • 1,457
82 votes
8 answers

What does HR do for me?

Location: England. Industry: IT, Software Development I recently contacted HR about my manager's way of communicating with me. My understanding is that if I have an issue at work, and it is not ...
TolMera's user avatar
  • 2,176
78 votes
11 answers

I have a problematic assistant manager, but I can't fire him

I'm the general manager of a restaurant in a franchise and I've held this position for about 6 months. The company hired me from outside the corporation so I'm still learning about the business. As ...
Chris's user avatar
  • 607
75 votes
11 answers

I'm the Tech Lead, my boss is the PM. In case of disagreement, how much should I push my point of view?

I'm the tech lead of a project and my boss is the Project Manager. He is formally in charge to decide what to put inside the project and I'm in charge of deciding how things will be implemented. In ...
heapOverflow's user avatar
  • 4,341
74 votes
7 answers

I suspect my coworker is trying to take revenge. How do my career and I survive an extra few weeks of working together?

A few months ago, I was temporarily (until the end of this year) put on another team. There is one other developer, and we've been struggling in our day-to-day interactions from day one. He's not used ...
Tinkeringbell's user avatar
72 votes
11 answers

How can I tell my boss that my productivity is low due to a conflict with a coworker, without blaming the coworker?

Four months ago, I started a new job and joined a project with a co-worker who has been employed here for many years. We were both brought on as experts, but he has subdomain expertise that I do not ...
Wild parsley's user avatar
71 votes
8 answers

How to deal with an employee who ignores you

I am having an issue with an employee/former co-worker who is flat out ignoring me. I work in a department in a college and for many years I worked as a student assistant. When I graduated I became a ...
Megan's user avatar
  • 651
70 votes
13 answers

How to handle an insubordinate employee faction when I can't replace them?

At my workplace we have a small faction of insubordinate employees who think they can do whatever the like and do not allow new hires in the same department to integrate into the team. The tension has ...
John Thomas's user avatar
69 votes
9 answers

Managing difficult employees

I just joined a new company four weeks ago. I am currently in the process of delivering a project, I am the project manager managing a tech lead, developer and dev ops. Out of the 3, one of the ...
bobo2000's user avatar
  • 11.9k
68 votes
5 answers

How do I deal with a team member who regularly makes breaking changes?

I'm a senior developer in a mid-sized business. We are split into multiple sub-teams with specific roles for each. My allocated team's responsibility is for the day to day running of services and bug ...
user avatar
68 votes
12 answers

How to deal with colleague that starts arguments?

The situation: My colleague (let's call him Joe) and I are department heads at a small startup (different departments). I have a lot more experience in my area. We are friends, and we work closely ...
TomQP's user avatar
  • 561
67 votes
10 answers

Co-Worker sabotages my work life

This is happening in central Europe. So basically I got this co-worker (let's call her Stacy) who regularly tries to undermine me. She disrupts my work, puts me in a bad light and doesn't cooperate ...
Gunter's user avatar
  • 646
67 votes
16 answers

How to deal with non-stop callers in the service desk

For the last three months, I've been working in an IT department with first- and second-level IT support. This differs from a call center where someone picks up the phone and quickly creates a ticket ...
Julian Bechtold's user avatar
66 votes
5 answers

How to address colleagues including me in video recordings in the office when I wish to not be recorded?

A couple of weeks ago two of my colleagues went around the office filming for another colleague's anniversary video. The filming took place on company premises during work hours, and I understand it ...
rath's user avatar
  • 27.8k
65 votes
6 answers

I'm the toxic person on the team. How do I approach my manager?

I work on a medium sized software engineering team. I have been generally not a good person to work with lately, there has been feedback from team members as feedback directed at the team, but its ...
user avatar
64 votes
10 answers

How do I get a coworker to do something that they don’t want to do, as they disrespect me?

I asked a colleague at work to do a 5-minute task, which is part of their role. I sent an email, but they didn't reply. I went up to the person’s desk and they totally dismissed the request saying ...
user92998's user avatar
  • 567
58 votes
7 answers

Responding to political doxxing

Today I was approached by my direct manager, warning me that the company has been approached by an unidentified person with some accusation with regards to my political preferences. No further details ...
user123634's user avatar
56 votes
5 answers

How to handle an aggressive outsourced manager trying to induce employee turnover to get their own staff in?

Short version: A hospital's outsourcing services. Outsourced managers are abusing hospital employees to induce employee turnover and replace those employees with their own firm's workers. Hospital ...
Nat's user avatar
  • 880
55 votes
4 answers

How to remedy a false accusation in small open office setting

I went on a work trip with my boss and we stayed at an AirBNB that was under my boss's name. She brought along her baby, and wanted a house to stay in so she could hire a babysitter to watch her baby ...
COGirl's user avatar
  • 1,073
53 votes
14 answers

How can I explain to my manager that a project he wishes to undertake cannot be performed by the team?

My manager has recently been made aware of a potential business opportunity, which would yield him a significant commission if successful. This is because said business opportunity requires a very ...
Joseph's user avatar
  • 637
49 votes
7 answers

How to talk to client who refuses to pay for freelance work

I worked on a project which was advertised by a UK company as an internship after applying online. When I started this project, I quickly requested for a contract but I was given excuses as to why it ...
meta truth's user avatar
48 votes
6 answers

What to do about Software Project Managers aggressively overloading the Tech Leads?

We get this statement from the PMs quite frequently during sprint planning: I know our capacity for points is X story points per sprint - but we're taking on extra as a stretch target. The PM ...
hawkeye's user avatar
  • 1,413
46 votes
8 answers

How do you deal with disrespectful/angry coworker?

I wanted to get your opinion on something that happened today at work. I'm a manager in a tech company. Since friday, we have this "defcon 3" situation at work, meaning that we have some ...
vbvcgfgfdgsdfs's user avatar
44 votes
13 answers

How to politely stop a colleague's rude remarks about the way I sip alcohol?

We went to a team dinner where alcoholic beverages were served. However, I am someone who doesn't drink alcohol due to my personal beliefs. Since people around were constantly making fun of me, I ...
The Great's user avatar
  • 575
44 votes
3 answers

Should I report it to my manager that the client's security didn't help (eg show me around) like my instructions said they would?

I have a side job where the office I report to is in another city. I used to work for them close to full time, but now I have a different job. Since it was such a great company to work with I still do ...
stipulateplonk's user avatar
43 votes
8 answers

Dealing with an overseas co-worker who acts like my manager/higher up than me

I work for a large international company based in the USA, where I am a 'posted' overseas manager based in the UK. The company has many overseas branches, such as Canada, Australia, Singapore etc. My ...
Debbie Williams's user avatar
43 votes
6 answers

My boss slapped me over a calculation error [closed]

My boss slapped me because My Excel file had a calculational error. I fixed the error and saved the file to the network. If I complain, I guess I will just get fired. But I don't want to work for ...
user avatar
41 votes
8 answers

Can a boss tell an employee not to go to human resources?

If Alice is having conflicts with Bob and the issue is brought to the boss and the boss doesn't rectify the issue, and also warns Alice that it is advised not to go to HR, what do you do? The ...
LOSTinNEWYORK's user avatar
41 votes
8 answers

Should I say anything 'bad' about candidate(s) who'll be replacing me?

I'm currently serving notice period in my current company and will be joining a new company in some time (a little over a month). So naturally my current company is looking for a replacement, and I ...
Lifelong Scholar's user avatar
41 votes
7 answers

What is the best course of action if the Head of HR is making unsubstantiated and false accusations?

Strange situation where in an email thread which included top management and CEO a non management person (a highly skilled employee) made a statement. The Head of HR basically accused that person of ...
Kilisi's user avatar
  • 209k
41 votes
3 answers

What's the most professional and constructive response to false accusations?

My boss says that I have done something wrong but I didn't and I have no doubt about it. Regardless of context, what's the most professional response or behavior to adapt when one is falsely accused ...
MapleSyrupEggCement's user avatar
40 votes
9 answers

Senior engineer suddenly unwilling to do extra work they used to do after being denied promotion

I'm a team lead. One of our senior engineers, Uli, is part of a team of about 7 people that were tasked with steering the company to increased profitability (lots of work involving automation). His ...
Pender's user avatar
  • 451

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