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Questions tagged [relationships]

Questions related to personal relationships in a work context.

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2 votes
6 answers
3k views

How to maintain good boundaries when manipulative co-worker and boss have years-long relationship at previous jobs?

I'm a new senior developer. There's a manager and a junior dev. The junior dev and the manager have worked together at another company and have a strong relationship. This week, the junior dev called ...
Johnny's user avatar
  • 155
10 votes
6 answers
6k views

My workmate wants me to teach her art but I would prefer to maintain a work-only boundary [closed]

So I work as a graphic designer and I'm also a very good visual artist. I paint and draw quite well, recently my coworker noticed my talents online and ever since she has become obsessed with the ...
lijo530's user avatar
  • 135
8 votes
3 answers
6k views

How should I handle a senior colleague who speaks disparagingly?

I've got a senior colleague, whom I can't get along with too well. We've had some bad interactions when I just joined the company, because he just throws everything he thinks out in the wild, without ...
GeneralOctopusNL's user avatar
0 votes
4 answers
858 views

How should I address disruptive office behaviors diplomatically? [duplicate]

I recently started a new job and share an office with a colleague who has some disruptive habits. While he is a friendly and helpful individual, there are two specific behaviors that are affecting my ...
AleX_'s user avatar
  • 1,513
3 votes
3 answers
1k views

Trips in a colleague's car (smoker)

One of my colleagues is a heavy smoker. We sometimes go together to customer appointments (approx. 1 hour's drive in one direction). We don't have company cars. He offers me then a lift in his car. In ...
user3114530's user avatar
1 vote
3 answers
1k views

Cold-messaged by a colleague's spouse to get mentorship

I've recently received a cold message from a colleague's spouse, writing that they've heard my "name from <my colleague's name> over the meetings", asking for mentorship to help them (...
Kinen's user avatar
  • 661
2 votes
2 answers
1k views

How to deal with a client who is constantly distrustful towards me?

I work as a freelance web developer. There is one important client that I'm currently doing a large project for. Most of the time he is easy going and friendly, but there have been many times he ...
Dennis82's user avatar
1 vote
4 answers
1k views

How should I let the custodian know that he needs to stop mopping our floors with dirty water?

I have noticed that the new custodian in our workplace often mops our floors with dirty water. The water in the mop bucket is usually dark and it sometimes smells bad. I have never seen him stop ...
user57467's user avatar
  • 301
2 votes
2 answers
819 views

Would I be jeopardizing a working relationship if I voiced my displeasure with a coworkers actions?

I work in the United States. I have been working with a co-worker, Jane, for 9 months. We do similar work. She has over 30 years of experience on the job. She is an invaluable resource. I can ask her ...
DiligentWorker25's user avatar
1 vote
4 answers
3k views

How can I ask my senior male manager to coffee with me?

I am intern in the niche finance firm where everyone knows each other because it is so small. He is 10 years older than me and my senior but not my direct boss. I will leave the firm soon, in less ...
user avatar
-3 votes
1 answer
361 views

Professional relationship and friendship with the same person

I live in a city with very difficult (and expensive) rent situation. I rent an apartment and I have some loans to pay off. To share the costs (and to make some profit), I decided to look for a ...
Porcupine's user avatar
  • 103
-3 votes
1 answer
280 views

Workplace relationships [closed]

My fiancé and I have worked together directly in the company we are with for a while now, and we disclosed our relationship to them in the very beginning. Can they after a year of knowing we were ...
Melissa Moore's user avatar
6 votes
4 answers
1k views

Is it reasonable to be frustrated about being siloed in a project?

I transitioned to a new company as an software engineer 2. I was put on a single project months ago where the problem statement was given to me, but it was up to me to shape the problem, do the ...
Jeremy Fisher's user avatar
-4 votes
4 answers
562 views

How to keep good professional relationship with manager whom I like

I have a team lead who is very rude and unprofessional. I joined a new company and was mentally abused a lot before I complained to my manager about him. The team lead has been promoted to my manager ...
Madam Curie's user avatar
3 votes
3 answers
1k views

How much should I help the new person in my old job role?

I work for a very large organization. I left one subset of the organization, such as a division, we'll call A, and went to another such subset (such as division) that we'll call B. In any event, ...
JosephDoggie's user avatar
1 vote
4 answers
833 views

How do I stay out of malicious gossip when co-worker keeps trying to get me to agree with her? [duplicate]

Two co-workers of mine talk about a 3rd co-worker behind her back. They feel she gets away with things that other employees do not and management doesn't do anything about it. For example, her ...
DiligentWorker25's user avatar
36 votes
7 answers
11k views

How to politely get out of a carpooling situation as the car owner [closed]

I found myself in a developing carpooling situation as a daily driver. My colleague approached me the other day and asked if I could drop him off. He doesn't live far away from me and doesn't expect ...
Guarneer's user avatar
  • 892
-1 votes
4 answers
1k views

Manager not treating every team member equally

I am in a team of 7 including our team leader (which has both the responsibility of technical lead and line management) in a company consisting of 700 people total. We are a relatively young team with ...
Acarbalacar's user avatar
  • 1,809
0 votes
3 answers
937 views

Team lead often directs question to coworker with less knowledge than me

Background I work in a business intelligence team consisting of 7 people, including our team lead. It has happened quite often that our team lead (let's call him Bob) directs a question to a coworker ...
Acarbalacar's user avatar
  • 1,809
19 votes
7 answers
16k views

Should I meet my manager, in person, if he is on a business trip a 2 hour flight away from my city?

My company head office is in South Africa while I am based in Sweden. My manager sent out an email that next month he will be in France and would love to meet anyone in person for lunch or coffee. My ...
Code Project's user avatar
  • 3,189
3 votes
4 answers
951 views

Build new company software on my own time? Or is that overstepping? [closed]

I started working at this company about a year ago. I work on a team that maintains their web application. The web application was built about 20 years ago using Java Spring and is extremely outdated ...
Slaknation's user avatar
7 votes
3 answers
2k views

How to deal with a manager with strong cognitive biases?

For background, I work in a small tech company (~30 people) in the United States, and I have 12 years of experience in my field. I lead (but do not manage) a team of less experienced people in my ...
Guild's user avatar
  • 103
0 votes
3 answers
1k views

How to be independent at workplace while being friendly

At work places we have to stay independent to complete our services properly, right? In my new work place, there are 2 other girls, quite of my same age. So I greet them friendly and try to maintain ...
Hasini's user avatar
  • 341
1 vote
5 answers
989 views

Is it ok to openly admit that you brought a friend of yours to the company?

If I were to admit that, some people might think that it is unfair because he didn't really find the job on his own merit. On the other hand, not admitting it might look like if I were hiding ...
Adrian's user avatar
  • 113
5 votes
1 answer
2k views

Dating a coworker with indirect relations to a direct report

This is somewhat of a weird situation to explain. I am a senior, C level executive and am dating somebody from another part of the company. There are no overlapping parts in the day to day business of ...
tyrell's user avatar
  • 61
0 votes
2 answers
907 views

Am I being set up for failure? Filling the gap

I started working in a FAANG company about 7 months ago as a software engineer II, and my team of 5 (including the manager who is also a tech lead) is onboarding a feature that requires engaging with ...
Node.JS's user avatar
  • 1,916
1 vote
3 answers
1k views

Old foe is now my boss [closed]

Questions 1-Is there any way of arguing that gets me out of this new boss that sounds reasonable and professional? 2-How can I keep upper management informed about my dissatisfaction, even if I manage ...
user avatar
-1 votes
1 answer
504 views

How do I wean off my main vendor (who wants to be my sole vendor) over time?

I have a startup project, and my (only for now) vendor wants to be my sole vendor. I am concerned about his behaviour if I want to work with other vendors in the near future. How do I deal with this ...
Digerkam's user avatar
  • 123
1 vote
1 answer
370 views

Frequent job switches before migration to another country

Context: I am working as a software support engineer/team leader in a non-IT company doing desktop applications. The domain I am working is geography specific i.e. the jobs are in Europe and some ...
T-Rex's user avatar
  • 701
8 votes
2 answers
2k views

Repairing relationship with former boss

A few introductory concepts about the organization I work for: First, it is a huge, old, very rigid and quite hierarchical organization, so, any expectation of me effecting any change in it is totally ...
m  e's user avatar
  • 199
30 votes
6 answers
11k views

How should I tell my boss that I'm going away for another company?

Premise: I'm 21, and I've started my path for my current company when I was 16 in a school internship. Then for all next years every internship or every holidays I was working for them as a software ...
John K's user avatar
  • 423
0 votes
3 answers
890 views

Should I ask a professional to refrain from contacting my company?

I am currently finishing an internship and my manager has signaled that he would like to hire me on a permanent contract. We have started talking about salary expectations and he's taking it to HR by ...
SteP's user avatar
  • 27
21 votes
5 answers
7k views

I accidentally told an offensive joke at my boss's expense in a team meeting, how do I apologise?

During a recent Zoom team meeting, we were playing a team bonding game where everyone would share a picture of themselves re-creating a favourite movie scene. Everyone was having a good natured laugh. ...
Benchunch's user avatar
  • 319
4 votes
2 answers
680 views

Who to ask about the benefits mentioned in job description and offer letter

When starting a new job, who is the correct person to ask about the benefits mentioned in the job description and offer letter, the direct manager of the new employee, the internal recruiter who ...
Sa2's user avatar
  • 175
-1 votes
4 answers
713 views

Telling an internal recruiter that I have received an offer from another company

I have a take home assignment and an upcoming technical interview with company B after passing the previous stage. However, I received an offer from company A for an immediate start. The internal ...
Sa2's user avatar
  • 175
-1 votes
6 answers
1k views

Dealing with a difficult colleague not accepting my position (in an NGO setting)

I have a BA degree in computer science with a few years of professional experience. A few month ago I started working for a humanitarian NGO (with US-American origins) which is active in some lesser ...
IT Guy's user avatar
  • 11
13 votes
3 answers
10k views

Colleague I "hired" watching football - am I responsible?

I'm doing an internship as a software developer in a startup. When I had the job interview they told me they always need programmers and asked me whether I know someone else from my uni who would like ...
NotWatchingFootball's user avatar
6 votes
3 answers
1k views

What is the most effective way to deal with insolent team member?

I am the leader of a tech team. One of my colleagues, who was only one grade lower than me, not only satirized and antagonized me in public but also questioned or satirized me in the work chat group ...
dengdengkenya's user avatar
0 votes
2 answers
1k views

Can I extend my answer to a job offer a second time without burning a bridge?

Two weeks ago, I was looking for work and I reached out to a consultant friend of mine to ask if they had any work they could send my way. It turned out, the company he's Consulting for is a long-term ...
malasiad3's user avatar
5 votes
3 answers
803 views

Is it acceptable to ask an estranged former colleague to 'siezen' even if you previously 'duzen-ed'? [closed]

Note: My native language is English which lacks a T-V distinction Generally, when two adult German speakers meet in the workspace, they start by 'siezen-ing' (speaking German with the use of the ...
Jacob Horbulyk's user avatar
0 votes
4 answers
1k views

Is manipulation a soft skill? [closed]

All my life I have been studying technical areas (hard skills) like programming, maths, statistics, German, data analysis, etc. That makes me isolate myself to learn this stuff and now I have problems ...
rubengavidia0x's user avatar
1 vote
3 answers
2k views

How can I improve my reactions to a coworker who irritates me?

I have been at a job for a few months now. We are a small business. I work in a small team of 3-4 people who are all on the same level : no managers except a boss who is rarely around. I am really ...
Fraligatorus's user avatar
20 votes
7 answers
60k views

How to answer the question "Do you have any relatives working with us"?

I know this is a frequently asked question, but I recently gave an interview, and a few days later I had a very brief call with HR. They asked me, "Do you have any relatives working with us?&...
Luke's user avatar
  • 361
2 votes
0 answers
556 views

Would moving in with an indirectly lower ranked coworker be conflict of interest? [closed]

I work in the office for a college department which handles both counseling (the psychiatric kind) and disability services. Technically, they should be two seperate departments and in the past were, ...
candlebrew's user avatar
1 vote
3 answers
1k views

How can I repair the working relationship?

I have worked as a web applications developer for a small software company (10 full time employees plus two semi-retired directors) for two years. Going back, I worked in support and databases, but ...
user2882061's user avatar
0 votes
3 answers
3k views

Self-nominating for awards and recognition?

Perhaps this is unique to my organization (public sector, 10,000+ people), but if you want to receive recognition for your work, you need to nominate yourself for awards. Supervisors won't nominate, ...
iwantmyphd's user avatar
  • 1,695
0 votes
3 answers
699 views

Can I consider that I was be isolated or something else?

I am a Java software engineer located in Paris office. Three months ago I remote joined a team in Berlin, because one person left in the team. I meet strange thing here: Generally speaking, if I have ...
Elisa's user avatar
  • 209
3 votes
3 answers
4k views

My spouse is applying to a job at the company I work at, how should I answer questions about him?

My spouse applied to a position at the company I work at, albeit in a completely different department. I anticipate since I was listed as a referral that I might be asked about him, but we have ...
q-compute's user avatar
  • 794
2 votes
2 answers
799 views

How to manage interview with friends?

I am going to apply for a firm where a mutual friend is the CEO, it is a startup though. I once had an interview with a mutual friend and i behaved casually but not too much formally but i did not ...
user avatar
-1 votes
2 answers
566 views

Urge someone in the kindest way possible

I'm asking to one of my collegue to send me a file (that He should have already sent me). I've already asked him about this file a couple of weeks ago with something like this: Have you got any news ...
Liiuc's user avatar
  • 109

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