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Questions tagged [relationships]

Questions related to personal relationships in a work context.

4
votes
4answers
1k views

Shall I mention to my future employer that I am leaving my current company because I am dating my coworker?

I am working at a company that has less than 100 people for 6 months. I started dating one of my coworker in my team for a few months. I decided to leave my current position because she feels it is ...
2
votes
4answers
949 views

How to handle senior member of my organization who seems to think I'm not very smart after conversations at team lunches

Background: I am a junior developer at a large software company. The person in question is a senior PM who reports to my skip-level manager (my manager's manager). My manager has worked with the ...
0
votes
1answer
210 views

Reminding someone to send me their resume?

My company is looking to hire and I told a former classmate (I'll call him Jake) about it since I feel he is qualified. He sounded interested in the position (it would be in a different department ...
14
votes
4answers
1k views

I come off as an expert in writing, but In person, nobody takes me seriously, and it is affecting my career, how can I fix this?

I have considerable knowledge in the business and technology of my field (supply chain and planning), from 7 years experience and from having a Ph.D in a closely related field. Although my colleagues ...
8
votes
4answers
1k views

My team mate is talking trash about me behind my back with my manager

I am leading a team of 5 and there is 1 manager who is above/supervising us. One of my team-mates I get along well with; she behaves well and I discuss personal stuff and share jokes with her. ...
1
vote
3answers
413 views

What are the mainly used policies to evaluated interns/juniors besides personal interactions and/or interests?

Context I’m a senior team leader and technical project coordinator at a medium size company (650 employees). The company was public until 9 or 10 years ago, when it was transformed in a (formally) ...
26
votes
6answers
14k views

When should I tell my boss that the person I recommended for a job is my partner?

TL;DR: My currently-unemployed partner is looking for a job. I recommended them for a position in my company. I discovered afterwards that they would work in my department should they get the ...
13
votes
6answers
2k views

Cultural favouritism in the workplace

This is in relation to the software industry in Australia. I am noticing a repeated and consistent attitude stemming from Indians towards those of non-Indian background in the industry. Examples: ...
153
votes
17answers
33k views

Is it inappropriate to invite all my coworkers except for one person to a private event?

I work in a fairly small department, I have 8 coworkers. 7 of them are great, we're good friends, and I love spending time with them - we hang out outside of work often, but usually in groups of 3-4. ...
9
votes
3answers
968 views

Drunkenly said something offensive to a coworker

So. Christmas dinner office party. Drank way too much too fast. Told a coworker he reminded me of a cow, but I didn't mean anything bad by it. He has this sort of "cow looking at the cars from behind ...
-3
votes
2answers
207 views

Management Relationship [closed]

I am in need of some perspective. Background My boss and I have a good relationship overall. She has told me several times that she is very good at reading people and situations. Several people ...
4
votes
2answers
138 views

How to foster relationships with managers that are geographically distributed

I'm a manager of managers - and I have a counterpart on the other side of the ocean with ~9 hours offset. I'm wondering how I can foster the relationship between those managers that are located here ...
2
votes
4answers
761 views

Colleague left me with his unfinished work [closed]

TL;DR: By the end of the day, a colleague of mine told the high level boss that she must go home and that I can handle the task by myself. While the task had nothing to do with me except for her ...
8
votes
3answers
728 views

Senior colleagues are deriding my work

Let me give you some context before. I'm working in a very well-known international company as a DevOps Engineer with 6 months of experience. I feel so grateful and lucky to develop my skills and ...
4
votes
6answers
885 views

Hiring Significant Others

I work for a very small company: 4 employees including myself. We recently let go of our warehouse person. My customer service mentioned to me her boyfriend was unemployed and still looking for work. ...
-4
votes
2answers
404 views

Why isn't everyone as excited as I am to work at my company? [closed]

I work at one of the most (if not the most) well-regarded companies on the planet, in terms of technical reputation as well as workplace benefits. Orientation was great, and I was fully bought into ...
108
votes
12answers
20k views

Dealing with attraction to my boss [closed]

I'm a recent college grad who finally got my first real programming job. For better or for worse, I am extremely attracted to my boss and have quickly developed feelings for her. This seemed awesome ...
71
votes
10answers
20k views

Coworker reviewing code too late in process

Over the summer I changed jobs from a big company as a senior engineer to a way smaller company as a principal engineer. Now I oversee about 20 jr-to-mid-level engineers working on 3 different ...
0
votes
2answers
301 views

A recruiter said they may be able to represent me to a company, but a different recruiter has approached me first [duplicate]

Recently, a recruiter approached me for a role which turned out to not be the right fit for me. They said they had a few more roles coming up that they would "keep me on the cards for". One of these ...
1
vote
1answer
635 views

I am a personal assistant for a blind person and not sure how to deal with this problem [closed]

I work as a personal assistant for an older blind person, I will call her KK. This is a new job for me. She is very extroverted and has a lot of friends. The thing is that her male friends are all ...
75
votes
13answers
24k views

How can I react professionally to sarcasm by my manager?

My manager sometimes uses sarcasm. I do not know how to react to that. An example from today: Him: Did you implement this all alone? Me: No, I used code found on the internet as a model. ...
11
votes
6answers
2k views

How do I unfriend a co-worker?

TL;DR; I want to unfriend coworker for her overly attached behavior, but she is also a QA of some of the projects that I develop. I was dragged into a group of 4 girls at work without me trying to ...
4
votes
6answers
627 views

Professional relationship with close friend, who may be acting illegally

It is not my main job, but as way to increase my knowledge in a different field, when I was asked by a close friend to assist him in his business of selling consumers products (he promised me some ...
1
vote
3answers
833 views

What should I do when coworker insults me [closed]

We have an online group to discuss stuff we work on. There are multiple people in that group; those people are located in multiple countries. I asked a question there. A coworker (from remote location)...
12
votes
4answers
961 views

Can I be a reference for my girlfriend?

As stated I know the answer to the title is a hard no, but hear me out. I started a side business setting up video game clubs for libraries and schools in my area while I was in college. Eventually ...
129
votes
18answers
38k views

My previous employer has asked me to fix a bug in code that I wrote for them

My previous employer wants me to fix a bug in the code I wrote while I was working for them. Should I provide assistance to them—on contract (paid) or for free—despite the fact I am no longer working ...
5
votes
3answers
770 views

How do I deal with an unreliable employer?

I am currently in the process of getting a job at a small company. I have known the owners of the company for a while, and they have expressed interest in hiring me. My problem is that they are ...
6
votes
5answers
629 views

Is it ok to ask your employer for English lessons?

I have recently moved to an English speaking country and started working at a software company some months ago. We are at that time of the year (apparently, since it's my first time) where we provide ...
4
votes
2answers
452 views

Is it fine to quit after company spends for future business trip?

Me and my fiance are in the same team under same manager. The manager and the rest of the team is unaware of this. We plan to tell them 2 months before our marriage. We are not sure what happens after ...
5
votes
3answers
716 views

Ex colleague wants me to introduce them to my contact, we are in the same job pool

An ex-colleague has asked me to introduce them to a contact of mine. I would normally do so without hesitation, but we are currently looking for the same kind of job. I was even planning on talking to ...
6
votes
4answers
1k views

How to tell boss about romantic relationship with coworker

I recently started a romantic relationship with one of my coworkers. How do I best inform my boss about the situation? Background: Our relationship has been growing for ~2 months now, we're both ...
0
votes
4answers
1k views

How to respectfully flirt with an intern? [closed]

I'm a project leader in a small (a few dozens employees) Spanish IT company. In one of my projects there is a 22yo female intern (I'm a 29yo male) who I'd like to flirt with. I noticed my attraction ...
4
votes
3answers
654 views

My boss is leaving the company. Is it okay to ask him for a LinkedIn recommendation?

I work for a fast-growing startup and I just found out that my direct manager (leading a team of ~25 people) will be leaving the company. I'm fairly confident that he's leaving because of the ...
16
votes
4answers
1k views

Why is it considered bad to “breach the line between private and professional interactions”

In an answer to the recent question Is it inappropriate to help an employee outside of work? It states that "you shouldn't breach the line between private and professional interaction" Vaguely ...
209
votes
15answers
32k views

Is it unprofessional to car share?

To save some money, my colleague and I decided to start car sharing to and from work. Our workplace operates a flexible working policy between 7 and 7 and we often come in early and leave early to ...
2
votes
3answers
663 views

How do I deal with a coworker who offloads his work and personal tasks onto other coworkers? [duplicate]

I have a coworker that has no problems with offloading his work or even private things on other coworkers. He does not do this with me, since I have rebuffed him once, but he does this with a ...
30
votes
10answers
6k views

How to come out gay without jeopardising relationships with colleagues?

I have a friend who is openly gay, but the team does not know. The team refers to his partner as his girlfriend. This has been going on for a while, and it is now too awkward to go back and disclose ...
7
votes
2answers
639 views

How do I improve my relationship with difficult/pretentious colleagues?

I'm a programmer at a smaller company and I enjoy the responsibility and the freedom that this brings. It also mean that the professional relationships you have inside the company are more important. ...
3
votes
3answers
424 views

How to handle interpersonal issues with my supervisor at work? [closed]

I have been working at my job for over a year now and I have some minor but extremely annoying interpersonal issues with my boss. He's British and I'm Canadian but we are living in Ireland. I'm a ...
0
votes
1answer
233 views

Part- time worker rejected for full-time position

The company that I work at has few full time employees but a large number of part-timers, mostly all who work elsewhere full-time. I have a very good friend that has worked part time in my ...
83
votes
7answers
24k views

Senior colleague feels threatened by me, an intern

I've been living a quite bizarre and pretty depressing situation the last few months. I'm currently interning as a financial engineer, and to make it short and blunt and without being too arrogant, ...
2
votes
3answers
686 views

Good strategies to treat unfairness at work

My team are my 2 peers and our boss. The projects of my two peers have been experiencing some extreme issues in the last months. Colleague 1's project - a priority project - is delayed by (at least) ...
95
votes
9answers
25k views

How to convince new employee to stop trying to change our office culture on profanity

Programmers and clients alike will use the F word very casually in my office (IT in rural Australia). It's not an insult but only acts as a qualifier to how difficult (or easy) the situation or ...
86
votes
9answers
21k views

How to fix a weird relationship at work

I got hired around 6 months ago. But I started to have a difficult relationship with my mentor from the first weeks. He got interested in me and tried to get close to me and I rejected him for two ...
1
vote
4answers
2k views

Unprofessional, immature, credibility killing co-worker [closed]

I love my job. I work with at risk youth during the school year; teaching soft skills and preparing students for their next steps in life During the summer myself and my two colleagues facilitate an ...
2
votes
3answers
576 views

Being a significant other at a company event, of a company I resigned from

After a year of working, I left for a higher position in a different field for another company. I gave my two week notice and the company overall understood my resignation since I wasn’t working in ...
111
votes
8answers
36k views

High performing employee broke up with his girlfriend and it seems to be affecting his performance

One of my best employees has recently broken up with his girlfriend (3 weeks ago) and it's now starting to affect his work performance. I have tried to ask him what is wrong but he does not want to ...
10
votes
6answers
2k views

What to do when someone is pushing to take control of a hobby project?

I'm working on a hobby project for a game - it's in an alpha state right now and I have users using it. For the past 9 months I have been the sole developer, but now I found someone who was willing ...
5
votes
5answers
654 views

What to do when PM estimates hours without developer input?

I'm a web developer, and I'm doing back-end and front-end to a project of the company I'm currently working at. I have a PM (Project Manager) for this project and I do report to him every day. ...
-1
votes
1answer
428 views

Coworker insulted me through text after asked about a task he failed to complete for me [closed]

What should I do in this situation. I'm not sure what triggered him to do this, but it boils down to: He is responsible for maintaining the computer I work on among many other things. For 2 weeks he ...