Questions tagged [relationships]

Questions related to personal relationships in a work context.

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0
votes
2answers
296 views

Am I being set up for failure? Filling the gap

I started working in a FAANG company about 7 months ago as a software engineer II, and my team of 5 (including the manager who is also a tech lead) is onboarding a feature that requires engaging with ...
1
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3answers
818 views

Old foe is now my boss [closed]

Questions 1-Is there any way of arguing that gets me out of this new boss that sounds reasonable and professional? 2-How can I keep upper management informed about my dissatisfaction, even if I manage ...
30
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5answers
13k views

Found a co-worker on a dating website. How do I approach them?

I found a co-worker on a dating site. I've seen her around before but have never spoken and never really had any interest. However, after reading her profile, I am interested in pursuit, but am not ...
-1
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1answer
492 views

How do I wean off my main vendor (who wants to be my sole vendor) over time?

I have a startup project, and my (only for now) vendor wants to be my sole vendor. I am concerned about his behaviour if I want to work with other vendors in the near future. How do I deal with this ...
1
vote
1answer
360 views

Frequent job switches before migration to another country

Context: I am working as a software support engineer/team leader in a non-IT company doing desktop applications. The domain I am working is geography specific i.e. the jobs are in Europe and some ...
8
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2answers
2k views

Repairing relationship with former boss

A few introductory concepts about the organization I work for: First, it is a huge, old, very rigid and quite hierarchical organization, so, any expectation of me effecting any change in it is totally ...
28
votes
6answers
10k views

How should I tell my boss that I'm going away for another company?

Premise: I'm 21, and I've started my path for my current company when I was 16 in a school internship. Then for all next years every internship or every holidays I was working for them as a software ...
0
votes
3answers
861 views

Should I ask a professional to refrain from contacting my company?

I am currently finishing an internship and my manager has signaled that he would like to hire me on a permanent contract. We have started talking about salary expectations and he's taking it to HR by ...
0
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2answers
492 views

Can I extend my answer to a job offer a second time without burning a bridge?

Two weeks ago, I was looking for work and I reached out to a consultant friend of mine to ask if they had any work they could send my way. It turned out, the company he's Consulting for is a long-term ...
21
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5answers
5k views

I accidentally told an offensive joke at my boss's expense in a team meeting, how do I apologise?

During a recent Zoom team meeting, we were playing a team bonding game where everyone would share a picture of themselves re-creating a favourite movie scene. Everyone was having a good natured laugh. ...
4
votes
2answers
476 views

Who to ask about the benefits mentioned in job description and offer letter

When starting a new job, who is the correct person to ask about the benefits mentioned in the job description and offer letter, the direct manager of the new employee, the internal recruiter who ...
-1
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4answers
605 views

Telling an internal recruiter that I have received an offer from another company

I have a take home assignment and an upcoming technical interview with company B after passing the previous stage. However, I received an offer from company A for an immediate start. The internal ...
-1
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6answers
1k views

Dealing with a difficult colleague not accepting my position (in an NGO setting)

I have a BA degree in computer science with a few years of professional experience. A few month ago I started working for a humanitarian NGO (with US-American origins) which is active in some lesser ...
54
votes
11answers
10k views

Should money be paid as a motivation to testers and developers for detecting and producing bugs?

I read an idea for increasing productivity in a company. It went like this: Have a certain fund that will be a bonus. Say $100,000. For each tangible bug found, the testers get paid $5 - $15. ...
13
votes
3answers
10k views

Colleague I "hired" watching football - am I responsible?

I'm doing an internship as a software developer in a startup. When I had the job interview they told me they always need programmers and asked me whether I know someone else from my uni who would like ...
0
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3answers
711 views

Self-nominating for awards and recognition?

Perhaps this is unique to my organization (public sector, 10,000+ people), but if you want to receive recognition for your work, you need to nominate yourself for awards. Supervisors won't nominate, ...
5
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3answers
1k views

What is the most effective way to deal with insolent team member?

I am the leader of a tech team. One of my colleagues, who was only one grade lower than me, not only satirized and antagonized me in public but also questioned or satirized me in the work chat group ...
12
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4answers
3k views

Conflicting work practices with colleague

Background: I work in a small group of web developers for a website project. The project is growing significantly, and our leader had added a new developer. I largely work on the front-end aspect (...
47
votes
14answers
49k views

Why are romantic relationships with someone who works under you discouraged?

I run a small company and am wondering what the consequences are of starting up a romantic relationship with one of my employees, and how it will affect my business and relationship with other ...
5
votes
3answers
758 views

Is it acceptable to ask an estranged former colleague to 'siezen' even if you previously 'duzen-ed'? [closed]

Note: My native language is English which lacks a T-V distinction Generally, when two adult German speakers meet in the workspace, they start by 'siezen-ing' (speaking German with the use of the ...
0
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4answers
805 views

Is manipulation a soft skill? [closed]

All my life I have been studying technical areas (hard skills) like programming, maths, statistics, German, data analysis, etc. That makes me isolate myself to learn this stuff and now I have problems ...
1
vote
3answers
758 views

How can I improve my reactions to a coworker who irritates me?

I have been at a job for a few months now. We are a small business. I work in a small team of 3-4 people who are all on the same level : no managers except a boss who is rarely around. I am really ...
21
votes
7answers
20k views

How to answer the question "Do you have any relatives working with us"?

I know this is a frequently asked question, but I recently gave an interview, and a few days later I had a very brief call with HR. They asked me, "Do you have any relatives working with us?&...
2
votes
0answers
541 views

Would moving in with an indirectly lower ranked coworker be conflict of interest? [closed]

I work in the office for a college department which handles both counseling (the psychiatric kind) and disability services. Technically, they should be two seperate departments and in the past were, ...
1
vote
3answers
926 views

How can I repair the working relationship?

I have worked as a web applications developer for a small software company (10 full time employees plus two semi-retired directors) for two years. Going back, I worked in support and databases, but ...
5
votes
4answers
2k views

How do I deal with a co-worker that keeps making the same jokes, and same remarks?

Basically, I work in a small company that usually will have 4-5 fulltime workers at a time in the office. There are separate rooms in the office, and I share a room with a co-worker who I will call '...
0
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3answers
679 views

Can I consider that I was be isolated or something else?

I am a Java software engineer located in Paris office. Three months ago I remote joined a team in Berlin, because one person left in the team. I meet strange thing here: Generally speaking, if I have ...
2
votes
2answers
707 views

How to manage interview with friends?

I am going to apply for a firm where a mutual friend is the CEO, it is a startup though. I once had an interview with a mutual friend and i behaved casually but not too much formally but i did not ...
2
votes
3answers
1k views

My spouse is applying to a job at the company I work at, how should I answer questions about him?

My spouse applied to a position at the company I work at, albeit in a completely different department. I anticipate since I was listed as a referral that I might be asked about him, but we have ...
14
votes
4answers
1k views

Another team at my company is being secretive (or just uncommunicative) about work that we should be collaborating on, how can I get them to open up?

I work as part of a tech team team that handles database applications for various business statistics. Our database platform is somewhat dated, but the business application that runs on it uses ...
615
votes
20answers
147k views

How should I deal with an employee who has slept with my wife?

I'm the owner of a business with about 30-40 employees. Recently, I found out that one of my employees has been having an affair with my wife. The employee has worked for me for four years. I felt ...
-1
votes
2answers
510 views

Urge someone in the kindest way possible

I'm asking to one of my collegue to send me a file (that He should have already sent me). I've already asked him about this file a couple of weeks ago with something like this: Have you got any news ...
0
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3answers
593 views

Strange line manager/colleague behaviour how to react?

It happened few weeks ago I was discussing with a colleague (name him Paul) about work, the conversation was about plans for a project we are both involved in. Paul was extremely confused and worried ...
-2
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1answer
226 views

How to get up to speed in a new web development job when there's no documentation?

I just arrived in a company to code in PHP and MySQL and I'm trying to get familiar with the codebase. I see the source code of the website and there is no documentation, no comments above the ...
0
votes
3answers
657 views

How to save the situation if you've fallen out of grace with your boss?

My boss has several favorite people in the team. He tends to show it when he doesn't like somebody clearly. I've now fallen out of grace. I was in his inner circle when I joined 6 months ago, now I'm ...
2
votes
3answers
1k views

Dealing with "small" issues when working for a senior person

I'm reporting to a really senior person. Most of their direct reports are higher in the hierarchy than I am.  At the same time, the culture of my organization is sometimes difficult to navigate. To ...
-3
votes
2answers
327 views

How to avoid conflict with manager when he complains for situations beyond my remit?

I am part of a small team for a big region. Other teams, smaller or not much bigger, operate in other, smaller regions. Together, we cover "the whole world". I am working on projects focused ...
86
votes
7answers
14k views

How do I evaluate a manager I have a negative opinion of?

I am part of a team of 5 software development engineers in a large multinational company. Last week there was a screw up. A customer escalation came in on Monday, my manager was specifically tagged in ...
19
votes
7answers
6k views

Avoiding personal questions

What is the most polite way to drop a personal topic with a coworker? I'm fairly new to my job and I'd like to keep my personal life private. Not to seem rude or disrespectful, but I'd rather not talk ...
-3
votes
2answers
641 views

Change of the hairstyle had dramatic effects on personal relations [closed]

To provide some background I work in tech job which overlaps with academia, think mix of college, software and IT company, I`ve been quite fond of horizontal mobility, flexibility and ability to ...
55
votes
8answers
10k views

Since my boss find out my hobby, our relationship worsened, how to improve it?

I'm working as a developer/database admin and, until a few days ago, everything was great working with my boss (workload was fine, we trusted each other, meetings were shorts and constructive, ...
-12
votes
3answers
739 views

Joining a company as the expert: what level? [closed]

UPDATE: when I wrote this, I had just joined. The problems I had were simply because the "impostors" (which, a year later, are indeed still impostors) are based in the HQ, and my line ...
2
votes
2answers
382 views

How to handle turmoil in company's ERGs

There is a policy at my company that says all individuals are welcome to join or attend any ERG (Employee Resource Group), even if they don't belong to that race/gender. Even though I am not Black, I ...
4
votes
2answers
416 views

How to build relationships while onboarding remotely with a traditionally non-remote team?

I am starting a new position at a company that is normally co-located in the same office. However, due to Covid-19 the team has moved to a remote set-up and I will be joining the team remotely for a ...
12
votes
4answers
2k views

How can I deal with a supervisor that constantly blames the previous manager that hired me initially?

I work in a university in the US. I was hired by a person that left last year for a better position somewhere else. My previous manager invited me to join him in his new position and have a role equal ...
8
votes
5answers
2k views

Can a supervisor forbid me from being friends or talking with a co-worker?

Summary: friend at work is a poor performer, my manager tells me they are bad influence and I should stop hanging out with them. I work as a teacher and am a union member. I have one co-worker who I ...
6
votes
5answers
2k views

Does the general advice to not date coworkers also apply to employees of companies your company does business with?

I understand that usually, it's not considered a good idea to date coworkers, because it can lead to personal problems spilling over into the office and negatively affecting the company. My question ...
2
votes
2answers
506 views

How to get along with a manager who loads the dice?

Our manager thinks other employees are competitors for his current position. He loads the dice against his subordinates. We're afraid to do our best in work. On the other hand, one whose performance ...
-2
votes
2answers
794 views

Can I press charges if a coworker says he wishes my death? [closed]

I have a toxic coworker. A few days ago, he said he had 2 types of wishes : good ones and bad ones. Among those bad ones is that he wants me to die Can I press charges for such a statement ?
16
votes
6answers
4k views

How do I unfriend a co-worker? [duplicate]

TL;DR; I want to unfriend a coworker for her overly attached behavior, but she is also a QA of some of the projects that I develop. I was dragged into a group of 4 girls at work without me trying to ...

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