Questions tagged [relationships]

Questions related to personal relationships in a work context.

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131
votes
15answers
27k views

How can I stop being badgered for "leaving early" without hurting my co-worker relationships?

I currently work in a corporate environment where the majority of the company works typical hours of 8:30 AM - 5 PM. Many employees vary work hours based on personal obligations, however often ...
47
votes
14answers
49k views

Why are romantic relationships with someone who works under you discouraged?

I run a small company and am wondering what the consequences are of starting up a romantic relationship with one of my employees, and how it will affect my business and relationship with other ...
24
votes
4answers
5k views

Dealing with someone who thinks he's "divinely right"

I have recently come across the situation where I have to deal with the person (software architect) who seem to think that the software solution he had come up with is basically "divinely correct" and ...
28
votes
3answers
5k views

Switching jobs - how soon is too soon?

My current (and first) job as a junior developer is ending and I need to look for a new one. I've received a fairly appealing offer in town, but for a variety of reasons I expect I might relocate ...
614
votes
20answers
147k views

How should I deal with an employee who has slept with my wife?

I'm the owner of a business with about 30-40 employees. Recently, I found out that one of my employees has been having an affair with my wife. The employee has worked for me for four years. I felt ...
110
votes
7answers
28k views

How do you tell a friend they are not qualified when asked to recommend them for a job in your company?

An old colleague asked me to recommend him for a job in my company. I'm hesitant because when we worked at the same company, he didn't have the best reputation. He constantly missed deadlines, never ...
68
votes
3answers
12k views

How do I resign when I know my employer will lose a big client when I leave?

I'm in a tricky position. I don't enjoy where I'm working and I've been offered another opportunity. Unfortunately, I know the current client that I'm consulting for isn't on good terms with my ...
18
votes
1answer
945 views

How to build a relationship with a remote team?

I am working as a UI developer in India for an MNC. Previously, I worked as a developer in another organization. There are no issues with UI development or back-end programming. I really enjoyed both ...
25
votes
4answers
48k views

What is the purpose of 1-on-1 meetings with your direct leader/boss?

I have worked in places where one-on-one meetings (a meeting where only the boss and one other employee are present) are a weekly thing and topics can vary from "what did you do this weekend" to "do ...
23
votes
7answers
5k views

How to deal with a team in which one of the members doesn't accept critique?

I'm currently working in a team where one of the members doesn't accept critique. Being from a high-rated school and considering himself an elite, this person doesn't like to be contradicted nor ...
42
votes
4answers
8k views

I will soon become the manager of a close friend. How do I be an effective manager and friend?

A close friend of mine will soon be moving into my department. We see each other outside of work and our significant others both work together at a different institution. I want to be an effective ...
37
votes
8answers
33k views

What is an appropriate response to the death of a coworker's loved one?

My coworker's father passed away. The following day, an employee from HR sent out an office-wide email with the obituary and viewing details with the coworker's permission, and started a fund for a ...
20
votes
1answer
14k views

Colleague keeps trying to set me up to fail and discredit me

I have been working at my company for around 9 months. It is small place and I am having problems with a woman I work with. I was brought in with a couple of other people to drastically expand the ...
24
votes
3answers
11k views

How to decline participation in team building activities

I have this situation where I can't figure out what to do. Big team building event is coming up and it is happening at place where my girlfriend loves to go few times at summer time, it is really ...
13
votes
2answers
845 views

Suggestions for declining recommending a person for a position

A close friend of mine whom I have known through graduate school is asking me to recommend her for a position for which I feel she is ill-suited for. One of the requirements of the position is strong ...
133
votes
18answers
43k views

My previous employer has asked me to fix a bug in code that I wrote for them

My previous employer wants me to fix a bug in the code I wrote while I was working for them. Should I provide assistance to them—on contract (paid) or for free—despite the fact I am no longer working ...
19
votes
4answers
11k views

How do I ask my former boss for back pay when I've been grossly underpaid?

I worked for a chocolatier restaurant for barely above minimum wage. After a year, I quit due to the low pay. Since then, I've done some research online and with other professionals to find that I ...
22
votes
6answers
17k views

How can I be assertive without being rude or offensive?

I consider myself a confident person in the workplace. Even though I do not consider myself an expert in my field, I really like discussing at the same level with experts in my job. But when I'm ...
52
votes
16answers
11k views

How to do code reviews to people whose programming skills are weak?

I am a developer and I was recently promoted so I am doing significantly more code reviews now. Part of that includes doing code reviews on Github with people who are either not very competent or lack ...
32
votes
7answers
36k views

How to deal with a colleague who mocks me

A member of the team I work with is a guy who considers himself "super-smart". He makes snide remarks to me for no specific reason. I have not previously had any such problems with others, so I can't ...
42
votes
3answers
14k views

How do you break off a friendship with a coworker?

Reputation will stick with you more closely in a workplace setting. If I get the reputation as being difficult to work with then advancing or moving laterally in my organization will be extremely ...
8
votes
2answers
2k views

How to restore friendly atmosphere with team member after I was proven right in series of Arguments?

I am working as IT consultant to US based organization. I have a team member. He is senior in the organization and team also. His role is developer and he is responsible for development of specific ...
25
votes
3answers
4k views

How to handle awkward relationship romance in a team?

My team has an awkward situation. Two of the team have been caught in various stages of undress in the stairwell and they disappear regularly. Job performance has taken a hit and both parties have ...
15
votes
4answers
4k views

How can I politely ask a coworker to stop forwarding emails to the company distribution list

A coworker of mine has recently started forwarding all sorts of newsletters, community event details, and promotions to the company-wide email distribution list. None of the stuff she forwards have ...
13
votes
4answers
2k views

How to have a relationship with someone at the office?

I know it's frowned upon, but if you end up in a personal relationship with someone at the office, what's the most professional way to go forward? Should you declare it with your managers? What ...
3
votes
4answers
7k views

Coming into the office early and leaving early [duplicate]

It was brought to my attention (from part of my boss) that my coworkers have told him that they've noticed I've been leaving 10 minutes early. I leave early because I have an hour commute to work - if ...
0
votes
1answer
774 views

Interviewing with Other Companies a Week into Starting New Job [duplicate]

So I'm a new graduate who took months to find a new job. Recently I interviewed, and was very quickly hired, for a semi-decent job which I was more grateful for getting than anything. The work culture ...
115
votes
6answers
17k views

Is there a way to NOT participate in office politics and still be successful?

The question pretty much speaks for itself. I am a hard worker, very productive, and usually the one everyone turns to when they have a problem. However, I work in a privately owned company, and ...
177
votes
12answers
27k views

Colleague commenting negatively on my look

I'm a man in his 20s working in a research center in one European university and I'm wearing a longer beard and completely shaved hair (my uni doesn't have any dress-code or something like that). ...
213
votes
15answers
36k views

Is it unprofessional to car share?

To save some money, my colleague and I decided to start car sharing to and from work. Our workplace operates a flexible working policy between 7 and 7 and we often come in early and leave early to ...
107
votes
12answers
31k views

Dealing with attraction to my boss [closed]

I'm a recent college grad who finally got my first real programming job. For better or for worse, I am extremely attracted to my boss and have quickly developed feelings for her. This seemed awesome ...
71
votes
7answers
13k views

How can I help my direct report to understand he is not being micromanaged?

A couple of weeks ago one of my direct reports (we'll call him Brent) went to my boss to complain that I am micromanaging him. When I heard the accusation, I was flabbergasted, since I don't see ...
98
votes
9answers
27k views

How to convince new employee to stop trying to change our office culture on profanity

Programmers and clients alike will use the F word very casually in my office (IT in rural Australia). It's not an insult but only acts as a qualifier to how difficult (or easy) the situation or ...
68
votes
6answers
13k views

How to act when coworker brings an infant to visit the office?

It's happened several times at several offices that someone brings their baby into work. It's a social thing where the manager wants people to see his baby and introduce his wife to the office. ...
14
votes
6answers
8k views

My boss is blocking my growth, should I bring it up in my 1-on-1 with his boss?

My boss is effectively blocking my growth in the company. He type casts me as a junior manager. Now that my project is gradually growing he wants me to move to a newer, smaller project whereas I see ...
25
votes
7answers
15k views

How to handle boss's invitation to become a Facebook Friend knowing that sometimes my Friends might post something that is not work-appropriate

I've had a pretty good working relationship with my boss for the past 1 1/2 years. He trusts me to deal with the problems he gives me, I give him the best quality work that I can, occasionally there ...
18
votes
5answers
19k views

How can you deal with receiving no job training without becoming a pest?

I have been in a situation before where I was essentially thrown into a job position with no training whatsoever. It was very much a "sink or swim" environment where I was expected to become ...
26
votes
3answers
5k views

I'm swamped at work and a colleague is slacking. Not sure if telling on him is professional

Title pretty much says it all. We work in pairs here at my company, and my peer has just quit, leaving me all alone. I'm swamped right now, having to work my part and my former peer's. There is an ...
21
votes
7answers
20k views

How to answer the question "Do you have any relatives working with us"?

I know this is a frequently asked question, but I recently gave an interview, and a few days later I had a very brief call with HR. They asked me, "Do you have any relatives working with us?&...
19
votes
7answers
6k views

Avoiding personal questions

What is the most polite way to drop a personal topic with a coworker? I'm fairly new to my job and I'd like to keep my personal life private. Not to seem rude or disrespectful, but I'd rather not talk ...
4
votes
3answers
5k views

Teammate ignores and excludes me [duplicate]

I'm very upset with the way my teammate has been behaving. I only have one teammate in my department and he's the first person I work with when I join the company. He was nice and helped me with ...
13
votes
2answers
8k views

How can I stop my boss from interfering in my private life in a manner that preserves my relationship with my boss?

Since about a year and a half ago, I have been in a relationship with someone who is an ex-colleague. At first as it was private, I only told my close friends at work. Eventually my boss came to know ...
10
votes
4answers
1k views

Suggestions for building relationships as a remote office worker?

I've started working remotely for a company a few timezones away. I'm not the most social person to begin with, but now that I can't even say "hi" in the hall, How can I help remind people I exist? ...
9
votes
7answers
4k views

Convincing an officemate to keep the office door closed

The office I'm in is shared by four people. During the winter, the room tends to feel very cold, even when I'm wearing a sweater - one of my office mates even wears a coat inside the office. A couple ...
8
votes
1answer
5k views

Conflict of Interest at interview?

I just found out that someone I know will be interviewing me for a position. It is my brother's good friend's sister - so someone I am acquainted with but don't know too well. Should I let the company ...
8
votes
2answers
4k views

Why should romantic relationships be disclosed to HR?

Why do some companies ask their employees to disclose romantic relationships with coworkers? Is the company somehow exposed to legal liability otherwise? My instinct is such relationships are none of ...
7
votes
6answers
8k views

How can I refuse interviewing someone I know/am a friend of?

My question is related to Conflict of Interest at interview?, but from the other side of the interview process. Here are situations I have been in: I was asked to interview a person I knew. I was ...
4
votes
2answers
773 views

Should I tell my manager if I think a coworker could be setting me up to get fired?

I was recently asked to update some test results and found the documents which were basis for those tests removed from our production system (but luckily still tucked away in a test system which ...
3
votes
3answers
3k views

Dealing with a senior colleague not pulling his weight [duplicate]

I'm fresh out of college working in an IT company. I'm really enjoying myself and am working on a small project with 5 others. However one of the other developers (all senior to me) is really bad at ...
3
votes
2answers
855 views

To approach coworker "attempting to help" personally, or contact my manager and get them to clarify?

I currently work in a small office with several people most of whom are not in the same department as I am. One of whom have been with the business for quite a while and act as a mouthpiece for my ...