Questions tagged [relationships]
Questions related to personal relationships in a work context.
378
questions
621
votes
20
answers
156k
views
How should I deal with an employee who has slept with my wife?
I'm the owner of a business with about 30-40 employees. Recently, I found out that one of my employees has been having an affair with my wife. The employee has worked for me for four years. I felt ...
219
votes
15
answers
37k
views
Is it unprofessional to car share?
To save some money, my colleague and I decided to start car sharing to and from work. Our workplace operates a flexible working policy between 7 and 7 and we often come in early and leave early to ...
- 2,041
179
votes
12
answers
29k
views
Colleague commenting negatively on my look
I'm a man in his 20s working in a research center in one European university and I'm wearing a longer beard and completely shaved hair (my uni doesn't have any dress-code or something like that). ...
- 1,213
154
votes
17
answers
39k
views
Is it inappropriate to invite all my coworkers except for one person to a private event?
I work in a fairly small department, I have 8 coworkers. 7 of them are great, we're good friends, and I love spending time with them - we hang out outside of work often, but usually in groups of 3-4. ...
- 895
134
votes
18
answers
44k
views
My previous employer has asked me to fix a bug in code that I wrote for them
My previous employer wants me to fix a bug in the code I wrote while I was working for them. Should I provide assistance to them—on contract (paid) or for free—despite the fact I am no longer working ...
- 1,001
132
votes
15
answers
29k
views
How can I stop being badgered for "leaving early" without hurting my co-worker relationships?
I currently work in a corporate environment where the majority of the company works typical hours of 8:30 AM - 5 PM. Many employees vary work hours based on personal obligations, however often ...
- 1,403
130
votes
10
answers
17k
views
Do I need to be arrogant to get ahead? [closed]
A colleague of mine is very good at PR and branding himself and does this by communicating to the whole world his successes no matter how small they are. He does this in a very arrogant way, by making ...
- 12k
118
votes
10
answers
37k
views
Dating a Former Employee
I'm a senior, C level executive at a relatively small company (~75 employees). A while ago, I became very close to a direct report. We began spending more time together outside of work; first in ...
- 729
114
votes
6
answers
17k
views
Is there a way to NOT participate in office politics and still be successful?
The question pretty much speaks for itself. I am a hard worker, very productive, and usually the one everyone turns to when they have a problem.
However, I work in a privately owned company, and ...
- 1,299
113
votes
8
answers
39k
views
High performing employee broke up with his girlfriend and it seems to be affecting his performance
One of my best employees has recently broken up with his girlfriend (3 weeks ago) and it's now starting to affect his work performance.
I have tried to ask him what is wrong but he does not want to ...
- 1,055
113
votes
7
answers
29k
views
How do you tell a friend they are not qualified when asked to recommend them for a job in your company?
An old colleague asked me to recommend him for a job in my company. I'm hesitant because when we worked at the same company, he didn't have the best reputation. He constantly missed deadlines, never ...
- 831
109
votes
12
answers
32k
views
Dealing with attraction to my boss [closed]
I'm a recent college grad who finally got my first real programming job. For better or for worse, I am extremely attracted to my boss and have quickly developed feelings for her. This seemed awesome ...
- 649
101
votes
9
answers
27k
views
How to convince new employee to stop trying to change our office culture on profanity
Programmers and clients alike will use the F word very casually in my office (IT in rural Australia). It's not an insult but only acts as a qualifier to how difficult (or easy) the situation or ...
- 7,531
95
votes
7
answers
31k
views
Co-worker knows a small fact about me and blowing it out of proportion
Background
I work on a small team of junior developers. We have meetings 2-3 times a week. This was my first real job after school and I struggled to find work, because I didn't have years of ...
user78265
91
votes
18
answers
28k
views
A friend/coworker and his wife are employed at the same company. He found out she's cheating. What to do?
Full context: I've been at my job for about a year and have formed close bonds with a number of people, including my coworker "Josh". A new position opened up recently that Josh's spouse, "Jessica", ...
- 603
90
votes
9
answers
22k
views
How to fix a weird relationship at work
I got hired around 6 months ago. But I started to have a difficult relationship with my mentor from the first weeks.
He got interested in me and tried to get close to me and I rejected him for two ...
- 897
87
votes
8
answers
26k
views
A coworker is asking me to stop sharing links from Bloomberg because he thinks it risks our business. Is he right?
I work in a tech company and we recently joined an incubator along with many other companies. We use slack for communication purposes.
I shared a link from an article in Bloomberg's website in the #...
- 679
86
votes
7
answers
27k
views
Senior colleague feels threatened by me, an intern
I've been living a quite bizarre and pretty depressing situation the last few months. I'm currently interning as a financial engineer, and to make it short and blunt and without being too arrogant, ...
anon
86
votes
7
answers
14k
views
How do I evaluate a manager I have a negative opinion of?
I am part of a team of 5 software development engineers in a large multinational company.
Last week there was a screw up. A customer escalation came in on Monday, my manager was specifically tagged in ...
- 593
85
votes
7
answers
21k
views
Coworker trying to play matchmaker. How to politely and professionally defuse?
I am a recently hired young lady, and a coworker of mine is a young man a few years older than me. We sit relatively close by to each other in the office, close enough to turn around and have a ...
- 1,105
78
votes
15
answers
31k
views
Friend wants my recommendation but I don't want to give it to him
I met my friend in my first year of college (Computer Science), so I can tell that I know how well he works and how knowledgeable he is.
He's a good friend, we chat occasionally, meet up to have ...
- 631
78
votes
7
answers
25k
views
How can I handle a co-worker who is infatuated with me but denies it?
I'm a female programmer. I work at a very small company on a small team with two other developers and a project manager.
I befriended one of my coworkers and we hung out a few times outside of work....
- 885
76
votes
13
answers
29k
views
How can I react professionally to sarcasm by my manager?
My manager sometimes uses sarcasm. I do not know how to react to that.
An example from today:
Him: Did you implement this all alone?
Me: No, I used code found on the internet as a model.
Him: What a ...
- 728
76
votes
7
answers
12k
views
Remote worker, minimal feedback, how to avoid fearing for my job every day?
I am an application specialist working for a small startup from the West Coast in the US. I am working remotely from the UK.
In my team we all code and work with customers, and I think I was hired ...
- 1,481
74
votes
7
answers
15k
views
How can I help my direct report to understand he is not being micromanaged?
A couple of weeks ago one of my direct reports (we'll call him Brent) went to my boss to complain that I am micromanaging him. When I heard the accusation, I was flabbergasted, since I don't see ...
- 7,878
73
votes
10
answers
22k
views
Coworker reviewing code too late in process
Over the summer I changed jobs from a big company as a senior engineer to a way smaller company as a principal engineer. Now I oversee about 20 jr-to-mid-level engineers working on 3 different ...
- 493
69
votes
4
answers
19k
views
Coworker screwed up side-job I hired him for
I have a co-worker who does car maintenance on the side. After getting a positive recommendation from other co-workers, I hired him to repair the A/C on my vehicle.
He screwed up in two ways.
...
- 6,270
68
votes
6
answers
13k
views
How to act when coworker brings an infant to visit the office?
It's happened several times at several offices that someone brings their baby into work. It's a social thing where the manager wants people to see his baby and introduce his wife to the office. ...
- 1,934
68
votes
3
answers
13k
views
How do I resign when I know my employer will lose a big client when I leave?
I'm in a tricky position. I don't enjoy where I'm working and I've been offered another opportunity. Unfortunately, I know the current client that I'm consulting for isn't on good terms with my ...
- 3,809
57
votes
6
answers
35k
views
How can I stop a flirting co-worker without damaging our professional relationship?
There is a co-worker that is being way overly friendly with me. Nothing that would really be deemed unprofessional, and I am not offended in any way, but it is just that little notch beyond what a ...
- 14.5k
56
votes
8
answers
11k
views
Since my boss find out my hobby, our relationship worsened, how to improve it?
I'm working as a developer/database admin and, until a few days ago, everything was great working with my boss (workload was fine, we trusted each other, meetings were shorts and constructive, ...
- 490
55
votes
11
answers
10k
views
Should money be paid as a motivation to testers and developers for detecting and producing bugs?
I read an idea for increasing productivity in a company. It went like this:
Have a certain fund that will be a bonus. Say $100,000. For each tangible bug found, the testers get paid $5 - $15. ...
- 532
54
votes
7
answers
22k
views
How to reclaim personal item I've lent to the office without burning bridges?
We had a company issued service mobile phone to be used for emergencies and office related texts and calls. 5 months ago our supervisor's personal mobile phone got damaged and he decided to use the ...
- 754
54
votes
5
answers
8k
views
Can I pursue romantic relations with a client if our project is completed?
A friend of mine works as a management consultant. On a previous project she was working closely with a Fortune 500 client's team. One of the team members and her had chemistry, but they maintained ...
- 2,229
53
votes
16
answers
13k
views
How to do code reviews to people whose programming skills are weak?
I am a developer and I was recently promoted so I am doing significantly more code reviews now. Part of that includes doing code reviews on Github with people who are either not very competent or lack ...
- 423
48
votes
7
answers
2k
views
Customer (small non-profit social services organization) doesn't like the term "business logic"
I've been hired to do contract programming work for a small non-profit social services organization. In the initial meeting, I used the phrase "business logic" and my contact at the non-profit became ...
- 1,604
47
votes
14
answers
51k
views
Why are romantic relationships with someone who works under you discouraged?
I run a small company and am wondering what the consequences are of starting up a romantic relationship with one of my employees, and how it will affect my business and relationship with other ...
- 603
43
votes
6
answers
10k
views
What should I do when the boss "pulls rank" to get their problems solved over our customers' problems?
My boss and I were reviewing items in a bug fix list. One of the bugs was relatively low priority: the program is rarely used in the way that produces the bug, and there is a work around which avoids ...
- 21.4k
42
votes
3
answers
14k
views
How do you break off a friendship with a coworker?
Reputation will stick with you more closely in a workplace setting. If I get the reputation as being difficult to work with then advancing or moving laterally in my organization will be extremely ...
- 445
42
votes
4
answers
8k
views
I will soon become the manager of a close friend. How do I be an effective manager and friend?
A close friend of mine will soon be moving into my department. We see each other outside of work and our significant others both work together at a different institution.
I want to be an effective ...
- 493
40
votes
3
answers
8k
views
Is it appropriate for my manager to give me an expensive item for free?
My manager showed me a (relatively) new smartphone. I estimate it to be 1-2 years old. It's used, and he said it was a company phone that has been replaced.
He asked if I want it, because my own ...
- 889
40
votes
3
answers
9k
views
How to deal with co-workers that hate each other
I am the sole R&D person in a pretty outdated company. I do a very broad set of engineering tasks in order to improve QC, from failure analysis to automatic systems development.
In order to ...
- 726
37
votes
8
answers
37k
views
What is an appropriate response to the death of a coworker's loved one?
My coworker's father passed away. The following day, an employee from HR sent out an office-wide email with the obituary and viewing details with the coworker's permission, and started a fund for a ...
- 1,163
36
votes
10
answers
24k
views
HR trying to sabotage my wife's work because we're married [closed]
TLDR;
My wife got a 1 month trial as a product manager and tester for a new product I'm directly designing and developing. HR hates the fact that we're married and is trying to seat her separate from ...
- 507
36
votes
7
answers
11k
views
How to politely get out of a carpooling situation as the car owner [closed]
I found myself in a developing carpooling situation as a daily driver.
My colleague approached me the other day and asked if I could drop him off. He doesn't live far away from me and doesn't expect ...
- 902
35
votes
4
answers
8k
views
Is it appropriate to tell my coworker my mom passed away?
This week my mom passed away from cancer.
I have told my boss and he has given me time off. I'm in a telecommute position and so I am not in the same office as my coworkers. I'm a private person and ...
user5621
35
votes
6
answers
10k
views
How to deal with a coworker that told you about the position and now feels he/she owns you?
I am currently working on a company I found through a compatriot who is currently my coworker, and I get the feeling that he is acting as if he owned me because he told me about the position the ...
- 353
34
votes
4
answers
15k
views
My boss doesn't want me to have a side project [closed]
It all started back in February when I decided to start an e-commerce store.
When my boss learned about it, he started talking less and less to me. Some days he doesn't talk to me at all, like he ...
- 379
32
votes
7
answers
38k
views
How to deal with a colleague who mocks me
A member of the team I work with is a guy who considers himself "super-smart". He makes snide remarks to me for no specific reason. I have not previously had any such problems with others, so I can't ...
- 513
32
votes
4
answers
4k
views
Is it unprofessional to pursue personal relationships with site users?
As a community manager for a large internet company, I interact with our users (and moderators!) on a fairly consistent basis. In fact, I often spend large swaths of my day in the main moderator ...
- 2,229