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Questions tagged [relationships]

Questions related to personal relationships in a work context.

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133 votes
15 answers
30k views

How can I stop being badgered for "leaving early" without hurting my co-worker relationships?

I currently work in a corporate environment where the majority of the company works typical hours of 8:30 AM - 5 PM. Many employees vary work hours based on personal obligations, however often ...
BlueBird's user avatar
  • 1,413
47 votes
14 answers
52k views

Why are romantic relationships with someone who works under you discouraged?

I run a small company and am wondering what the consequences are of starting up a romantic relationship with one of my employees, and how it will affect my business and relationship with other ...
Dave M's user avatar
  • 603
29 votes
3 answers
5k views

Switching jobs - how soon is too soon?

My current (and first) job as a junior developer is ending and I need to look for a new one. I've received a fairly appealing offer in town, but for a variety of reasons I expect I might relocate ...
canisrufus's user avatar
25 votes
4 answers
5k views

Dealing with someone who thinks he's "divinely right"

I have recently come across the situation where I have to deal with the person (software architect) who seem to think that the software solution he had come up with is basically "divinely correct" and ...
Karlson's user avatar
  • 1,984
625 votes
20 answers
158k views

How should I deal with an employee who has slept with my wife?

I'm the owner of a business with about 30-40 employees. Recently, I found out that one of my employees has been having an affair with my wife. The employee has worked for me for four years. I felt ...
114 votes
7 answers
29k views

How do you tell a friend they are not qualified when asked to recommend them for a job in your company?

An old colleague asked me to recommend him for a job in my company. I'm hesitant because when we worked at the same company, he didn't have the best reputation. He constantly missed deadlines, never ...
ExCoworkerDrama's user avatar
68 votes
3 answers
13k views

How do I resign when I know my employer will lose a big client when I leave?

I'm in a tricky position. I don't enjoy where I'm working and I've been offered another opportunity. Unfortunately, I know the current client that I'm consulting for isn't on good terms with my ...
Michael A's user avatar
  • 3,819
19 votes
1 answer
996 views

How to build a relationship with a remote team?

I am working as a UI developer in India for an MNC. Previously, I worked as a developer in another organization. There are no issues with UI development or back-end programming. I really enjoyed both ...
svk's user avatar
  • 291
42 votes
4 answers
9k views

I will soon become the manager of a close friend. How do I be an effective manager and friend?

A close friend of mine will soon be moving into my department. We see each other outside of work and our significant others both work together at a different institution. I want to be an effective ...
Justin Helgerson's user avatar
36 votes
8 answers
44k views

What is an appropriate response to the death of a coworker's loved one?

My coworker's father passed away. The following day, an employee from HR sent out an office-wide email with the obituary and viewing details with the coworker's permission, and started a fund for a ...
MackM's user avatar
  • 1,163
34 votes
7 answers
39k views

How to deal with a colleague who mocks me

A member of the team I work with is a guy who considers himself "super-smart". He makes snide remarks to me for no specific reason. I have not previously had any such problems with others, so I can't ...
py_script's user avatar
  • 533
27 votes
4 answers
51k views

What is the purpose of 1-on-1 meetings with your direct leader/boss?

I have worked in places where one-on-one meetings (a meeting where only the boss and one other employee are present) are a weekly thing and topics can vary from "what did you do this weekend" to "do ...
user2813274's user avatar
  • 1,454
24 votes
7 answers
6k views

How to deal with a team in which one of the members doesn't accept critique?

I'm currently working in a team where one of the members doesn't accept critique. Being from a high-rated school and considering himself an elite, this person doesn't like to be contradicted nor ...
Arseni Mourzenko's user avatar
24 votes
3 answers
13k views

How to decline participation in team building activities

I have this situation where I can't figure out what to do. Big team building event is coming up and it is happening at place where my girlfriend loves to go few times at summer time, it is really ...
Cardiner's user avatar
  • 1,291
22 votes
1 answer
16k views

Colleague keeps trying to set me up to fail and discredit me

I have been working at my company for around 9 months. It is small place and I am having problems with a woman I work with. I was brought in with a couple of other people to drastically expand the ...
user10687's user avatar
  • 221
13 votes
2 answers
1k views

Suggestions for declining recommending a person for a position

A close friend of mine whom I have known through graduate school is asking me to recommend her for a position for which I feel she is ill-suited for. One of the requirements of the position is strong ...
Anthony's user avatar
  • 21.5k
136 votes
18 answers
44k views

My previous employer has asked me to fix a bug in code that I wrote for them

My previous employer wants me to fix a bug in the code I wrote while I was working for them. Should I provide assistance to them—on contract (paid) or for free—despite the fact I am no longer working ...
James Dean's user avatar
  • 1,021
19 votes
4 answers
12k views

How do I ask my former boss for back pay when I've been grossly underpaid?

I worked for a chocolatier restaurant for barely above minimum wage. After a year, I quit due to the low pay. Since then, I've done some research online and with other professionals to find that I ...
maddie's user avatar
  • 247
53 votes
16 answers
13k views

How to do code reviews to people whose programming skills are weak?

I am a developer and I was recently promoted so I am doing significantly more code reviews now. Part of that includes doing code reviews on Github with people who are either not very competent or lack ...
jhcoates's user avatar
  • 423
42 votes
3 answers
14k views

How do you break off a friendship with a coworker?

Reputation will stick with you more closely in a workplace setting. If I get the reputation as being difficult to work with then advancing or moving laterally in my organization will be extremely ...
jon30016's user avatar
  • 445
25 votes
3 answers
4k views

How to handle awkward relationship romance in a team?

My team has an awkward situation. Two of the team have been caught in various stages of undress in the stairwell and they disappear regularly. Job performance has taken a hit and both parties have ...
swasheck's user avatar
  • 361
22 votes
6 answers
18k views

How can I be assertive without being rude or offensive?

I consider myself a confident person in the workplace. Even though I do not consider myself an expert in my field, I really like discussing at the same level with experts in my job. But when I'm ...
Matthew Azkimov's user avatar
15 votes
4 answers
5k views

How can I politely ask a coworker to stop forwarding emails to the company distribution list

A coworker of mine has recently started forwarding all sorts of newsletters, community event details, and promotions to the company-wide email distribution list. None of the stuff she forwards have ...
Ryan J. Thompson's user avatar
13 votes
4 answers
2k views

How to have a relationship with someone at the office?

I know it's frowned upon, but if you end up in a personal relationship with someone at the office, what's the most professional way to go forward? Should you declare it with your managers? What ...
CaptainCodeman's user avatar
8 votes
2 answers
2k views

How to restore friendly atmosphere with team member after I was proven right in series of Arguments?

I am working as IT consultant to US based organization. I have a team member. He is senior in the organization and team also. His role is developer and he is responsible for development of specific ...
Babu's user avatar
  • 6,074
3 votes
4 answers
8k views

Coming into the office early and leaving early [duplicate]

It was brought to my attention (from part of my boss) that my coworkers have told him that they've noticed I've been leaving 10 minutes early. I leave early because I have an hour commute to work - if ...
Samanthalynn's user avatar
0 votes
1 answer
784 views

Interviewing with Other Companies a Week into Starting New Job [duplicate]

So I'm a new graduate who took months to find a new job. Recently I interviewed, and was very quickly hired, for a semi-decent job which I was more grateful for getting than anything. The work culture ...
Talias's user avatar
  • 1
219 votes
15 answers
37k views

Is it unprofessional to car share?

To save some money, my colleague and I decided to start car sharing to and from work. Our workplace operates a flexible working policy between 7 and 7 and we often come in early and leave early to ...
andtodd's user avatar
  • 2,061
180 votes
12 answers
29k views

Colleague commenting negatively on my look

I'm a man in his 20s working in a research center in one European university and I'm wearing a longer beard and completely shaved hair (my uni doesn't have any dress-code or something like that). ...
Eenoku's user avatar
  • 1,233
115 votes
6 answers
18k views

Is there a way to NOT participate in office politics and still be successful?

The question pretty much speaks for itself. I am a hard worker, very productive, and usually the one everyone turns to when they have a problem. However, I work in a privately owned company, and ...
Bardicer's user avatar
  • 1,309
110 votes
12 answers
33k views

Dealing with attraction to my boss [closed]

I'm a recent college grad who finally got my first real programming job. For better or for worse, I am extremely attracted to my boss and have quickly developed feelings for her. This seemed awesome ...
Rikkerts's user avatar
  • 659
101 votes
9 answers
28k views

How to convince new employee to stop trying to change our office culture on profanity

Programmers and clients alike will use the F word very casually in my office (IT in rural Australia). It's not an insult but only acts as a qualifier to how difficult (or easy) the situation or ...
happybuddha's user avatar
  • 7,531
74 votes
7 answers
18k views

How can I help my direct report to understand he is not being micromanaged?

A couple of weeks ago one of my direct reports (we'll call him Brent) went to my boss to complain that I am micromanaging him. When I heard the accusation, I was flabbergasted, since I don't see ...
Lumberjack's user avatar
  • 7,848
68 votes
6 answers
13k views

How to act when coworker brings an infant to visit the office?

It's happened several times at several offices that someone brings their baby into work. It's a social thing where the manager wants people to see his baby and introduce his wife to the office. ...
bobby's user avatar
  • 1,934
35 votes
4 answers
9k views

Is it appropriate to tell my coworker my mom passed away?

This week my mom passed away from cancer. I have told my boss and he has given me time off. I'm in a telecommute position and so I am not in the same office as my coworkers. I'm a private person and ...
user avatar
27 votes
8 answers
7k views

Avoiding personal questions

What is the most polite way to drop a personal topic with a coworker? I'm fairly new to my job and I'd like to keep my personal life private. Not to seem rude or disrespectful, but I'd rather not talk ...
E. Thompson's user avatar
26 votes
3 answers
6k views

I'm swamped at work and a colleague is slacking. Not sure if telling on him is professional

Title pretty much says it all. We work in pairs here at my company, and my peer has just quit, leaving me all alone. I'm swamped right now, having to work my part and my former peer's. There is an ...
Pedro Cordeiro's user avatar
24 votes
7 answers
15k views

How to handle boss's invitation to become a Facebook Friend knowing that sometimes my Friends might post something that is not work-appropriate

I've had a pretty good working relationship with my boss for the past 1 1/2 years. He trusts me to deal with the problems he gives me, I give him the best quality work that I can, occasionally there ...
Zibbobz's user avatar
  • 10.4k
20 votes
7 answers
63k views

How to answer the question "Do you have any relatives working with us"?

I know this is a frequently asked question, but I recently gave an interview, and a few days later I had a very brief call with HR. They asked me, "Do you have any relatives working with us?&...
Luke's user avatar
  • 361
18 votes
5 answers
19k views

How can you deal with receiving no job training without becoming a pest?

I have been in a situation before where I was essentially thrown into a job position with no training whatsoever. It was very much a "sink or swim" environment where I was expected to become ...
asteri's user avatar
  • 2,247
14 votes
6 answers
8k views

My boss is blocking my growth, should I bring it up in my 1-on-1 with his boss?

My boss is effectively blocking my growth in the company. He type casts me as a junior manager. Now that my project is gradually growing he wants me to move to a newer, smaller project whereas I see ...
user12984's user avatar
  • 141
13 votes
4 answers
3k views

How can I deal with a supervisor that constantly blames the previous manager that hired me initially?

I work in a university in the US. I was hired by a person that left last year for a better position somewhere else. My previous manager invited me to join him in his new position and have a role equal ...
Mithridates the Great's user avatar
13 votes
2 answers
9k views

How can I stop my boss from interfering in my private life in a manner that preserves my relationship with my boss?

Since about a year and a half ago, I have been in a relationship with someone who is an ex-colleague. At first as it was private, I only told my close friends at work. Eventually my boss came to know ...
Neha's user avatar
  • 182
10 votes
4 answers
1k views

Suggestions for building relationships as a remote office worker?

I've started working remotely for a company a few timezones away. I'm not the most social person to begin with, but now that I can't even say "hi" in the hall, How can I help remind people I exist? ...
Philippe Chaintreuil's user avatar
9 votes
7 answers
4k views

Convincing an officemate to keep the office door closed

The office I'm in is shared by four people. During the winter, the room tends to feel very cold, even when I'm wearing a sweater - one of my office mates even wears a coat inside the office. A couple ...
GreenMatt's user avatar
  • 21.4k
9 votes
4 answers
868 views

Colleague taking credit after refactoring my work

Noticed that my colleague has refactored/normalized my work further into smaller chunks. What has surprised me is she has been adding a "Created by [her name]" on these files. It's clear this has been ...
Ian R's user avatar
  • 91
9 votes
2 answers
1k views

Reporting to a friend

I am considering a position where I would be reporting to a close friend. Originally we were colleagues at different companies but in the same field, and now we have become close. (In this situation ...
Kyle Maxwell's user avatar
8 votes
1 answer
6k views

Conflict of Interest at interview?

I just found out that someone I know will be interviewing me for a position. It is my brother's good friend's sister - so someone I am acquainted with but don't know too well. Should I let the company ...
user10144's user avatar
8 votes
2 answers
5k views

Why should romantic relationships be disclosed to HR?

Why do some companies ask their employees to disclose romantic relationships with coworkers? Is the company somehow exposed to legal liability otherwise? My instinct is such relationships are none of ...
rath's user avatar
  • 27.9k
7 votes
6 answers
9k views

How can I refuse interviewing someone I know/am a friend of?

My question is related to Conflict of Interest at interview?, but from the other side of the interview process. Here are situations I have been in: I was asked to interview a person I knew. I was ...
Andrey's user avatar
  • 181