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Questions tagged [socializing]

Questions about talking to co-workers about non-work related materials. This can be talking on breaks, going to lunch or activities outside of working hours.

6
votes
2answers
913 views

My boss is trying to be my friend. How should I handle this?

I started a new job as a software developer at a small (~50 people) company in October, and my new project manager (boss) started a month after I did. He's the outgoing, touchy-feely type; I can't ...
1
vote
1answer
585 views

I am a personal assistant for a blind person and not sure how to deal with this problem [closed]

I work as a personal assistant for an older blind person, I will call her KK. This is a new job for me. She is very extroverted and has a lot of friends. The thing is that her male friends are all ...
0
votes
3answers
589 views

How can I plan a Christmas party when there seems to be no suitable date?

So I've been asked to plan a Christmas party for my department (roughly 40 people). I have three requirements: The party has to be before December 25th. The main boss has to be available on the ...
11
votes
6answers
2k views

How do I unfriend a co-worker?

TL;DR; I want to unfriend coworker for her overly attached behavior, but she is also a QA of some of the projects that I develop. I was dragged into a group of 4 girls at work without me trying to ...
96
votes
14answers
33k views

Do I have to attend a work Christmas party?

I've just started a new job, which I'm enjoying. I recently received an email, asking all employees to choose what they would like to eat at the work Christmas party. I personally would not choose to ...
96
votes
12answers
26k views

Will declining my company's many social events negatively influence my career?

I've been working for this company in the Netherlands for 6 months now. When they said they valued get-togethers and game nights, I expected the occasional Friday afternoon gathering or a game night ...
16
votes
3answers
1k views

Can I gracefully skip part of a work outing?

I have just started a job 4 days ago (hooray!). The model of my team is a "startup within a big corporation," so we work in a coworking space separate from the main campus, people are in and out a lot,...
-1
votes
5answers
399 views

Consequences of not attending work offsite day as a contractor? [duplicate]

The scenario is the whole office (30 people) is having an off-site day at park, like a (catered) picnic. It’s not a teamwork type of retreat, though I’m sure a side effect is better teamwork in the ...
50
votes
10answers
10k views

How do I explain that I am in the office to work, not to have fun?

Our office has a ping-ping table, and I am occasionally invited to play during work hours. Meanwhile my co-workers will often take a few minutes out of the day to chat about their homes, families, ...
3
votes
2answers
442 views

How to deal with excluding behaviour? [closed]

Background about myself: 40+, white, male, family, with the company for 10+ years, speaking English only. Over the past couple of years, there has been a change in the inofficial company structures (...
5
votes
4answers
498 views

How do I respond to my manager sending me a friend request? [duplicate]

I recently received a friend request on Facebook from one of my managers. My initial reaction was to reject this out of hand, however, this person is of a comparable age to me and at a similar place ...
-1
votes
1answer
789 views

What is the best way to politely decline invitations to go for drinks with work colleagues? [duplicate]

I work for a small company (6 full time employees, including owner/ director, 1 part time employee), and have been there for almost a year. Occasionally, one of my colleagues will organise an evening ...
100
votes
11answers
19k views

I don't want to pay for a work social event, how should I respond if asked why I declined?

My company wants to hold its first ever social event over the weekend at someone's house. At first I accepted the invitation, although I wasn't at all into it, but then I learned that all the costs ...
13
votes
3answers
2k views

Is it okay to turn down an invitation to my own retirement party?

I had to retire from work after 23 years to care for my ill husband. No breaks. I’m here 24/7. I order groceries on line for delivery. I’m his caretaker. With his dementia and disease he cannot be ...
0
votes
3answers
820 views

How to separate personal Facebook from professional FB while getting full benefit of FB? [closed]

I am a web based software engineer in Sri Lanka and I have own my web design business. It is really important to engage with Facebook groups to get local projects. That's how you build a network and ...
4
votes
2answers
547 views

Being seen as assertive in the workplace [closed]

I am a young woman of small build. I also give off the impression of being 'Ms Perfect' for the fact that I take care of my appearance and weight. I'm also ambitious. I find I am constantly being '...
11
votes
3answers
4k views

Company invites me to event after firing me [closed]

I worked for a development company 2 years ago. I was fired on my last day of probation, after 6 months. I wasn't really expecting it. I felt a bit bitter about it; The boss also behaved improperly ...
108
votes
17answers
27k views

Is it reasonable for me to complain about an objectionable newspaper being ordered for the office?

Our office has had newspapers delivered for some years. I don't recall the staff were ever consulted on what newspapers they wanted, but staff read them during lunch or coffee breaks. Recently the ...
6
votes
3answers
1k views

How to interact with a coworker I have to interact with regularly but who is very opinionated about everything

On a regular basis, I have to interact and coordinate with a coworker who is one of those highly opinionated people that has no filter. I find myself avoiding her as much as possible, to the point ...
89
votes
11answers
16k views

Ramifications of not inviting a teammate I don't like to my personal function

I'm a female employee, and I have a baby shower coming up next week. I wish to invite my colleagues to the party. But there is one guy in my team I don't like, because he used to keep staring at me. ...
8
votes
3answers
958 views

Everyone is talking about politics in the common lunches. Any better option than leaving?

I live in a place where there's quite a lot of convulsion in terms of independency of the country. My ideas don't really care, but in the office there are both sides, and the verbal fights are close ...
-4
votes
1answer
387 views

Is “all hands” TGIF meeting mandatory? [closed]

If the employer calls it an all-hands TGIF meeting, is it implying that the meeting is mandatory, or that everyone can attend, but doesn't have to?
-3
votes
1answer
472 views

The CEO wants to kitesurf with me [closed]

The CEO wants to kitesurf with me during working time. I have no trouble with that. But I'm trying to figure out the reasons behind this activity. Why does a CEO wants to do something like that? ...
11
votes
2answers
2k views

I want to avoid a 2-day social event organized by the company on working days

A company event is advertised with the words "attending is expected", which I assume means attending is obligatory. There doesn't seem to be anything work-related, but it seems to be a spirit building ...
1
vote
3answers
667 views

Discussing dreams with coworkers [closed]

A coworker and I are on pretty good terms. We've been working within talking distance from each other for a few years, usually on the same projects in a team. We sometimes, but not very often, discuss ...
70
votes
13answers
16k views

Informal Chat in Concluding an Interview; is it appropriate to ask about a hobby/interest?

As a senior software developer (based in UK), I help my manager arrange and conduct interviews. My boss used to conduct the interviews himself, but realised that he needed someone more tech-savvy ...
10
votes
2answers
920 views

Soft-skills… how and why?

Intro: I'm originally a physicist, and I love programming since my childhood (primarily C++). After finishing my PhD in physics, I did a post-doctoral fellowship in a university for 2 years, where in ...
3
votes
2answers
327 views

Tips on staying professional while dealing with major family illness?

Very suddenly my mother and aunt got the news they're terminally ill. My father is chronically ill, his brother just had a stroke and my sister in law is chronically ill as well. I was dealing with ...
6
votes
3answers
1k views

“Professionalism” After Work Hours and Separating the Two

I apologize if this is "off-topic", but based off my reading of this stack for a while (man, are there ever some interesting questions popping up around here), I believe I am within site scope. The ...
10
votes
2answers
1k views

Are there good reasons to NOT invite my boss to Thanksgiving dinner?

I have a pretty solid professional relationship with my boss. We also get along well personally and share some things in common that don't relate to work that we talk about. I have a suspicion, but am ...
4
votes
0answers
137 views

How do I overcome my Social Anxiety during work? [duplicate]

I work for a medium size manufacturing business (200 or so employees) as the sole System Administrator. Because I am the only person who does anything with the IT infrastructure it also means that I ...
5
votes
2answers
365 views

Meeting potential interviewer in social situation

My friend was offered an interview for a job at a company that his friend works for (his friend is one of the interviewers as well), but turned it down as he had just started a new job. He told his ...
4
votes
2answers
765 views

How to socialise when you are from a third world country?

I am from one of these countries that have a very bad reputation regarding human rights, women rights. (But differently not me) I got a job in the Netherlands I am in my 5th week Employees try to ...
27
votes
7answers
2k views

How can I limit or avoid social faux pas when I have a disability that makes it hard

I have Asperger's syndrome which makes it difficult for me to navigate the social aspects of the workplace, and I understand that other conditions such as depression, anxiety, et cetera can also cause ...
8
votes
4answers
2k views

How to deal with an employee who refuses to follow social etiquette

I have an employee who reports to me who refuses to behave within accepted social norms, when it comes to respect for their co-workers. The individual in question is blunt, rude, and aggressively ...
6
votes
5answers
1k views

Professionalism regarding sharing Steam account info

I've found myself in somewhat of an awkward situation, or at least it seems that way to me. Personally, I like to metaphorically wear two outfits: one for when I'm not at work and one when I'm doing ...
39
votes
3answers
8k views

Arranging drinks with laid off coworkers in close-knit team

I work in a close-knit team of about 20 that just suffered layoffs. Some of the surviving employees and laid off employees are friends, and several survivors have suggested arranging drinks with the ...
6
votes
2answers
1k views

How to deal with an office environment where everyone speaks a different language?

I'm working overseas and almost all of my colleagues speak another language (their native language). They talk to me in English regarding work-related stuff and everyone speaks English during meetings....
1
vote
1answer
685 views

How can a young college graduate deal with large age gaps in the office? [closed]

I recently graduated from college and was able to get a job not too long after; I've been at work for 3 months so far at an underwriting firm as a in-house IT/Excel help desk who helps with odd jobs (...
27
votes
3answers
4k views

How to handle awkward conversation with co-worker in gym changing room who is naked

I was at the gym (non work affiliated if it makes a difference) last week and ran into a co worker in the changing rooms. This would have been fine except she had just walked out of the shower ...
2
votes
4answers
2k views

How do I stop my co-workers from teasing me with another co-worker?

I have been working for more than 3 years now with my co-worker and people have been teasing us here and there and it doesn't make me happy, at all. Things have gone awkward to the point where I can't ...
15
votes
8answers
5k views

How can I drop a polite hint to a coworker to stop pestering me with daily questions about my lunch?

I have a coworker who, without fail, asks me the same set of small talk lunch-related questions. Every. Single. Day. For example: (As I'm heading out the door) Him: Where you goin?! Me (usually ...
-2
votes
2answers
312 views

how can I cancel my Involvement in a company football competition in order to go to a industry talk/event [closed]

Tomorrow there is a company football team going to partake in the first part of an industry football competition. I only started this job recently so I put my name forward to be on the team just for ...
8
votes
4answers
2k views

Invited for a New Year party, should I go? [closed]

I have been invited to a New Year party at a company where I have accepted a role, but as yet haven't joined. My joining date is more than 10 days after New Year. I am very happy that they have ...
10
votes
6answers
4k views

Is it acceptable to politely decline to speak about one's personal life?

I've seen this answer, where the person says that one might present oneself poorly if they hide their personal lives from their co-workers. In-spite of that, I believe that revealing information ...
2
votes
1answer
604 views

A colleague won't tell me her name preference?

I have a colleague, who has been called by 2 different names. Her middle name was not what I was used to, but recently another colleague referred to her by her middle name. When I asked said collegue ...
1
vote
0answers
114 views

How to handle when no one talks with you? [duplicate]

I have a question probably a repeated situation faced by most of the people. I find socializing very difficult as I always feel what others think about me. Because of that, I stay silent all the time ...
23
votes
6answers
5k views

Adjusting to a team with conflicting socialisation preferences for a group dinner

I started a new job half a year ago. I am very satisfied, there's just one thing. The team is pretty outgoing and they like to go out for a dinner together once or twice a month. I don't mind that, ...
2
votes
2answers
374 views

Deal with unsocial image [duplicate]

I have started my first job ever about 13 months ago in a web-dev company. I am an extremely shy person, at least when it comes to make the first approach, and I often over-think too much social ...
33
votes
4answers
4k views

How do I distance myself from a clique that's constantly mocking my colleagues?

There is a small group of people in the office who have formed a clique of sorts. They go out to eat together, constantly talk to or IM each other, have inside jokes, all sorts of fun stuff. When I ...