I'm a female who works in IT so aside from myself, it is almost entirely men all the time. I have never worked directly next to another female in any of my roles.
This is entirely outside of work and is a new thing: it is not well established and hasn't been going on long at all. There's a "boys only" group of guys who get together to meet at a bar and watch sports. The person who started it is a manager and he didn't invite everyone - just "his friends" - about 8-12 people who work in the same, closely related teams. Apparently, a rule to the gatherings is that no women are invited. This guy used to be my manager but recently I've moved under someone else but we all still work closely. I approached him about it to see if I could go to and he said guys only and it's just his friends here at work. He suggested I do a women's only group with the only three other females even relatively close to my position, whom I don't know and haven't actually worked with: one has been out on maternity leave, one has a family and doesn't usually attend outside of work functions, the last does not drink for religious reasons and also has a family at home (in these specific situations, I do mean to imply that "family at home" for these women is different than the men having family at home, because their roles in the household are clearly different in this given situation).
Should I take this personally? Because the "boys only" rule really only excludes me... none of the three women he mentioned would be able to or want to go due to their family situations. I mean... I get that this is very different than excluding a different "minority" group (and I quote that because I'm not always on-board with the idea of treating women as a minority group in IT even if the numbers support it) - such as, "white people only"... but...
Do I even have any grounds to care because this is outside of work? It is discussed during work but not too openly.
I'm not looking to take any action on this. I just want to validate my feelings more than anything. It hurts to be excluded, especially by someone in a manager's position who I thought I was on pretty good terms with.
Edit: I guess.... I thought we were friends. From the answers and comments, I guess we aren't...? I guess I see it differently than they do. And I guess that is the part that actually hurts.