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user5919
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Person who Sits Nearby Keeps Taunting Me To Cut Off My Hair

Unsure if this goes under interpersonal issue or workplace.

My workplace is unique. It's city job in Metropolitan city. Most employees are permanent (protected by strong Union, hard to fire), spend most of day chatting, surfing Internet,earning on average $30K. Even when the head boss comes to our floor for weekly town hall, most of these employees are either surfing Facebook, or on the phone.

I myself am Temporary employee. I've been working in same team for several years, avg salary is $90K.

Our team sits right next to others and over the years we talk and get friendly.

Few Months ago one of these employees (man double my age, earns third my salary, permanent employee, who had been nice to me in past) came up to me and said I should cut off all my hair (it's up to my rear end) and give to children with cancer. Now while I feel sorry for children and family suffering with cancer, doesn't mean women should be forced to cut off all their hair. He said another employee (who is contractor on H1B visa, has long hair like mine), has donated her hair.

At first I tried joking it off because I was really taken aback by what he said. Then I got so paranoid I actually wore my hair up to working thinking, "I'm only temporary, these people are permanent, not scared of losing their jobs, and if they commit crime of cutting my hair they can easily get another job"

Fast forward to few days ago. I finally wear my hair down and I am talking to someone in office and this same co-worker comes up to me and tells me to cut off half my hair and give to wigs for children with cancer. Again, I tried to deflect the conversation and tried to even joke that don't worry, the first person I'll share my hair is with him.

In the past I had problems with people overstepping my boundaries

  • one co-worker on my team was over-friendly. Turns out he wanted to have an affair. I simply stopped talking to him, and now he doesn't bother me. He is also temporary, earns around $90K, but spends most of his day just talking and talking.

  • another person is also sitting in same area, permanent employee, earning $30, close to retirement, and like most employees, chats, surfs web. He overstepped his boundaries so many times by coming to my desk, interrupting my work that I now also ignore him, and he doesn't bother me.

But this employee (the cut hair person) had been nice and considerate in the past, i.e. when I was pregnant (unfortunately miscarried later), he was helpful, bringing snacks from the lobby. And in past he would be helpful for other things.

Honesty I know most of you will blame me and taunt me for all this. But really don't you think a smarter person would be working for a private fortune 500 company or having her own business? So I know I have weaknesses with social interaction that need to get fixed.

In my case I've stupidly gotten too friendly with people who I don't work with because they are the only ones who talk to me (I have lot of social problems myself). Now for past few months I only talk if it's work related, or someone else initiates conversation (honestly I wish to move upwards).

I really don't want to file any complaints because

  • it's a waste of time. I actually enjoy and get value from the tasks at my jobs

  • again, it seems the person filing the complaint gets vilified somehow

  • what if the cut hair man doesn't realize his behavior. In that case how to get him to stop.

Again, I wasn't sure whether to post on workplace or interpersonal skills because my workplace is different from where most people work. We are in USA, metropolitan city, most employees are either minority, 2nd generation Americans, or H1B visa holders. People are either overconfident about their jobs and have no ambitions, or are anxious about their jobs and wish to move upwards in life.

user5919
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