Hot answers tagged

142

I recommend you write up a small card that very succintly explains what is happening. It might say: I am having a panic attack and may have to leave now. I may be able to calm myself in a few minutes and if so I will return; otherwise I will contact you as soon as possible to apologize for disrupting our meeting. (Adjust the wording as needed for you.) ...


75

The best way is to drop the formal interview style. Think about the job he will be performing and how his team will work with him. Then design a way to see how he works in that environment. Ask them to sit next to a team member for an hour and work on a problem. Most technical people can offer some insight while trying to diagnose a problem. Try and ...


50

The simple fact is that some people have social anxiety that really affects their interviews at times. But let me say from personal experience that this does not necessarily mean anything negative about their ability to do the job. Unlike the person who said it's a "red flag" it is nothing of the sort, anymore than a person being awful at UX design means ...


37

My question to you is, how can I deal with such a situation when it happens? My understanding of panic attacks is that you can't really deal with the situation once you're in it. You need to flee from the stressors and recover. Should I just explain the problem? Yes, before the interview starts, explain your medical problems and that interviews are ...


34

I like to work here Firstly you need to be honest with yourself.... you do NOT like working there, you don't like the whole culture, you may enjoy your tasks but that's only part of what it takes to enjoy working somewhere. Once you're honest with yourself you can move forwards and make a decision. Until then the rest of your question is moot. It's ...


31

This needs professional help. However, you also need to address this at work while you get the help. First, your boss needs to know you have a phobia if it is affecting your performance. He also needs to know that you are getting treatment for it and that he may need to make accommodations during that treatment. This may also involve HR depending on the ...


28

How normal or appropriate is it to keep a mirror on one's desk in a setting like this? I know many folks who have a small mirror attached to their computer monitor so that they can see people who walk up behind them. These mirrors are usually small and come with a self-adhesive strip that attached them to the corner of your monitor. They can be very ...


21

I - like yourself - experience panic attacks under similar circumstances, and often feel like I have nowhere else to go and cannot do anything to overcome it. I agree with the other posters that seeking help from a mental health professional is a good idea, and is something I myself do. You may not find the right person straight away, but don't despair - if ...


21

Right now, you should follow the advice in all the other "I'm on a PIP" questions and apply for other jobs immediately. Go get out before you get fired. A PIP is not meant to be helpful for you, it's meant to be helpful for the company in it's attempt to fire you. Take action. Now. what do I do next? As for what you should do in the future, let me say ...


16

The unfortunate fact is behavioral issues are best dealt with by the people in the room at the time. That means being assertive and making comments like the following in the moment: "Let's please avoid negative comments." "There's no need for passive aggressiveness. It was a reasonable question." "We have a good plan here and I think everyone knows their ...


15

There's absolutely no way you should expect to be able to practice all possible questions. It's not about memorizing anything, it's about having enough exposure to data structures and algorithms that you're able to figure it out, and quickly. And you get this exposure with practice. Take some online data structure and algorithms courses (e.g. from Coursera ...


15

As GGMG said, most drug tests are taken in private. If a urine test is not possible, there is always a hair follicle test, or a blood test.


13

I wouldn't call it an apology letter; rather a letter of thanks. It may be difficult to send an apologetic letter without "tugging at heart strings" or seeming like you're making excuses. I'd instead recommend sending a letter of thanks; thanking them for the opportunity to interview for the position. You may then insert an aside that while you were very ...


13

I was working in a workplace where my boss was bullying me and it was extremely stressful...how do you deal with it after it has become a thing of the past? I have been there myself, and it just really does take time to heal. You've only been gone two months, so feelings are still pretty recent. It helps to be in a new place, but for a while you will still ...


12

Here's a contrarian view: LinkedIn is totally overrated. The only thing it is good for is attracting spam from recruiters who want you to work jobs you probably aren't interested in taking. I get "Hi, I saw your profile and I'm interested in reaching out" messages all the time and they're never worth reading. Occasionally someone tries a novel approach, ...


11

Sure! First of all, realize that everyone there has the same challenges. The transparency of a scrum-type organization can be a big change for a lot of people, and it can be intimidating to feel like everyone has a direct lens into what you're doing. But take heart, the reason for it is not to push blame onto people, but to give everyone on the team the ...


11

Aside from going to a professional to help with the social anxiety, I think the only thing that will really help her to improve is more experience. I believe most people who have suffered from any form of social anxiety will agree that the only thing that will really help is more exposure to social situations. The anxiety perhaps is more specific to an ...


11

This is not medical advice: In the beginning of my career, the phone call was a big burden too. I'd wait for my colleague to be out of the office and always write down bullet points of the conversation. With time, this and many other things which have made me nervous faded. I still avoid answering machines, but don't give calls a second thought. My advice ...


11

As a probation officer by trade, our department dealt with a handful of offenders with shy bladder (and, yes, it is a very real condition). We offered those select few a "lollipop" test. It's an oral swab that you suck on for about fifteen minutes. That's it! These tests are highly reliable and are similar to buccal swabs. I would suggest: Google "drug test"...


11

Yes, you should raise your concerns with your manager. No matter how senior a developer is, it's completely unrealistic to expect the same productivity from a new ployee as from one who worked with the tools for a year and knows the processes. And especially so if said new employee isn't given the slightest amount of on-boarding introduction. Don't argue ...


10

In addition to the exellent answer by Robodashy, I'd like to add one thing. From your post, it seems you spend a lot of energy on hiding the panic attacks so that nobody will notice, to "look normal". I truly understand this - been there, done that... However, I've learned that most people around me are actually nice and caring. That means that if they find ...


10

Dealing with managers' quirks is part of the job Part of almost every job in the world is dealing with managers and their occasional flaws. Maybe he gave you mixed messages, maybe he didn't; either way, your worth to the company is greater if you are able to work with him than if you are not. Frankly you should consider yourself lucky you have only one ...


10

Since Richard nicely covered that this likely won't be an issue, this answer will just assume it may be. https://www.drugs.com/article/drug-testing.html states that: Certain laboratory procedures may require direct visual observation while the specimen is being voided. To your question: How can I handle this if I'm required to take a drug test? ...


10

There seem to be two aspects to your objection, one reasonable and one unreasonable. First, it's entirely reasonable that you don't want "silly things" to be a major distraction from your real work, especially in the form of a time sink. But a firm refusal to ever consider making light of what you do, or especially to consider how odd it may sometimes look ...


9

Multi-pronged approach:' Get the expert help you need from a mental health specialist. Change your attitude toward interviewing. I lost all fear about interviewing when I realized that the worst possible outcome is that I don't land the job - in which case, I am no worse off than when I started the interview. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. ...


9

I am so torn on what to do...continue to feel sick and anxious while there or quit and get better and try again later on. I do have my old job still, so I wouldn't be unemployed. Any advice? :( If you've only been there a few days, I'd advise seeing if you can stick it out a little while longer. If you can bear it for a full week, then reassess. ...


9

You didn't get this job. You won't get any job in that company. HR will have records of all previous interviews, and they'll know what happened; they won't invite you back. Emailed apologies etc. won't change that fact. All you can do is move on.


9

I was signed off work about 5 months ago In the UK health system, if you are signed off (i.e. your doctor has ticked the box saying you are not fit for work), you should be revisiting your doctor so they can sign you back on (i.e. the line will say you are fit for work as of the stated date). Here is the doctor's line: The doctor will likely have crossed ...


8

I've suffered from crippling anxiety since my early teens, to the point that I once took a month off high school because I wasn't coping. After I started my first job, I was coping even less, despite loving said job. So I finally went to the doctor, who referred me to to a psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with social anxiety and depression. Therapy didn't ...


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