407

If you want to be quiet, start describing your problem as a question on stackoverflow. There were numerous times where I started writing a question and found the solution while explaining the problem. You could also start to write the documentation of your code even before it is finished. I had various moments where I wrote the documentation of some code I ...


325

In the IT world, this is pretty much accepted so long as you aren't interrupting someone else (which is the point of using the duck or teddy bear or whatever in the first place). I've set it up in some work places I've been at which didn't already have it, and it became accepted and normal almost overnight. If you are still worried about looking like an ...


301

There's a quote from the Street Fighter film which sums it up: For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday. The problem with bringing it up first is that you're likely to be reminding them of something that they'd forgotten about. I've interviewed people before and once the decision's ...


253

Leave the duck at home, put on a phone headset and talk to the duck's voicemail. Fellow software engineers will understand what you're doing, sales or HR people will think you're on the phone (which you will truly be) and won't be weirded out.


253

Is this something that isn't my business? This is not your business. Continue to wear your headphones if the occasional cursing distracts you. And let the management of your coworkers' behavior be the problem of your manager. the guy over the cube wall will jokingly remark "Tell me about it, [coworker's name]!" from time to time. My coworker seems to ...


210

I only want my manager/scrum master to understand why it still took 2 days when John said he will help me complete in 4 hours? Pass it to him if asked. He volunteered to take responsibility, so let him. 'Why did it take two days when John said 4 hours?' 'You'll need to ask John that, 4 hours was his estimate, my estimate of 2 days was correct.' It won't ...


174

I don’t think you can go wrong by expressing sympathy for a loss like that: “I was surprised to hear the news, and I am very sorry for the loss. How is his family doing?” Then listen for a minute and let his colleague say whatever they want. They may have a lot to say, or very little. After that, it’s appropriate to get back to business: “So, ...


156

If you notice the other person getting agitated to the point of it being a problem to continue the discussion, just say: Hey, I think we should park this for now and continue later. "The discussion has to be continued" is effectively never true. You can wait 5 minutes to cool down even in the most stressful office situations. Plenty of things can be ...


153

From one of your comments: i want to work what i like to work and not what they want me to work You need to go and start your own company then. If you're working for somebody else, you're at work to do what your employer wants you to do, not to do what you want to do.


141

Don't make estimates based on expectations of the future, make them based on observations of the past. When John says "don't worry I'll help you and you'll finish the task in 2-4 hours" bring up the last few times this has happened. Thanks John, I really appreciate that offer. The last three sprints you've been too over-comitted with other work to ...


140

The next time he messages you, go a little meta. No thank you. I am not going to agree to go to lunch just you and me. I would like you to stop inviting me for that. No more. Don't say why. Don't say that "you really like him but" or that are flattered or you appreciate his interest. Do not give him some sort of compliment to feel better after being ...


136

He won't be offended. If he is a reasonable person, he realizes that most people do not follow his religion and thus are not subject to his rules. Now if you're going up to him holding your food in front of his face and making fun of him then yes, he will be offended. Just act like nothing is wrong. People's religious affiliations do not and should not ...


127

As a Muslim currently in the workplace, I can say that I wouldn't be upset in the least; in fact, the only thing that might upset me is knowing that I'm making co-workers uncomfortable to eat in front of me :) I just went to lunch with a few co-workers. Didn't eat anything, but just came for the company. Luckily, nobody felt too guilty or anything—if they ...


107

When you choose not to explain a behaviour, you leave a gap where people will fill in whatever they like. Some people are generous and understanding, they say "perhaps Snowman has suffered a personal loss and is sad" so they cut you some slack and later you recover from your grief and things go back to normal. But some people are nervous and lack self ...


104

My question, how can I effectively avoid eating with him in a restaurant and not make him turn to be an enemy? This is going to be a challenge. My suggestion to you is to let him know that you appreciate the offer, but you have other lunch plans. Rinse and repeat, continue telling him the same thing and eventually he will get the hint. It may be more ...


96

I've always been a believer in following your "gut" and your gut is telling you that this guy won't be a good fit. You'll probably turn out to be right. If it were me, I'd follow that feeling and tell the guy "we're going in a different direction" and just leave it that. If you have to bring him back in, interview him as you normally would but when he ...


90

First off, I want to say that there would be many people envious of your position. You mentioned you are a graduate, this situation can be typical of graduate programs. Sometimes placement within a specific team can happen quickly, and sometimes without even the blessing of the manager of a team. They may not even be prepared for you, or have work of a ...


89

I'm going to answer this as if you were not a developer, mostly so that non-programmers can gain a little insight into this. If you are a developer, most if this will seem obvious to you. No. Just ignore it. You say it's not preventing you from doing work, so there is no need for you to do anything about it. As a developer I can relate to this guy so much....


81

I had an oblivious teammate do the same thing to me one time, and I was certainly not comfortable with it. She treated my request not to film me as some sort of joke, then proceeded to tease me about being "shy" (all the while filming me although I had just asked her not to). I just went to my manager, and expressed my concerns. He then spoke to her, the ...


72

I have what's I like to call "resting jerk face". I've heard women call it "resting bitch face". I've had your exact situation before. What I do is explain to them "resting jerk face" is just my natural relaxed face and then I assure them that I'm happy and that I can't really change how I look. I then say that I don't want to fake a smile because I don't ...


70

Stop arguing. Let the other person keep talking until they're done. With luck, they'll calm down a bit by having their say. If they're getting more heated all by themselves, only then interrupt them. Apologize if appropriate, otherwise do something close to apologizing. For example, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to turn this into an argument." Pause, if possible....


69

If it is just a casual 'hi' that doesn't require a response, I wouldn't worry about it. A single word is unlikely to disrupt a phone call, and it's a polite and social thing to do. If in doubt, you could always fall back on voiceless gestures of greeting instead (a.k.a. a quick wave).


68

I felt it might seem rude and uncaring. How should I deal with it? I don't want to offend anybody. I agree with Lawrence's answer that a reasonable co-worker won't be offended. That said, they probably will also appreciate the gesture. While there are many things you're allowed to do and your freedoms at work are important - it's definitely within reason ...


68

In addition to the other good answers already here, I also think it may be useful to note that your attitude toward languages shows inexperience as a programmer. The core tools and structures of programming (and, more generally, software engineering) are largely language-independent, and most of the people that I know who are strong programmers are not ...


64

I can so far only answer this from the experience of the one who lost someone. When I called in to inform my boss, he added some nice consoling words to "It's okay, take your time." After I returned I realised he had not told my colleagues. I was rather new at the job at that time, and I guess he was not sure how much I wanted this to be spread around. I ...


61

The obvious question ...have you asked your coworker to stop? I don't see anything suggesting you have asked her to stop. Your reasons are not great for not having done this. Approach her the next time she takes a picture, saying, "Hey, this is really distracting for me to take pictures - please stop taking pictures of me at work. Thanks." If you have to ...


58

John’s time would be called an “impediment” in agile circles. So to move forward without headaches and stressing... Put in your estimate If John says, that’s too high, should be x, respond with “Cool! Let’s huddle up later and we’ll revise the estimate after that once I get your insights on the subject” Go about your day. No meeting? No worries, the ...


57

You were not born to be a mechanical part in big assembly line. You are not a lion in a circus. You are not born to behave as other people require you to. If you were bit reclusive because of a personal loss you were right. You did communicate well through email and fulfilled all the required professional communication, which is all your obligation. You ...


57

The way I'd approach this would be to get positive confirmation from your supervisor that you're doing the right thing - depending slightly on how you're assigned work, perhaps the most obvious way is just to have a "read back" at the end of your meetings with your supervisor and say something like "Just to confirm, today I should be working on features A, B ...


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