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261

That question is a hard read - I've been through similar experiences to you, although in different circumstances. The answer to your question; How can I keep going? DON'T Or at least - not in the current circumstances. It's clear you've pushed yourself as far as you can go. It sounds like there's nothing else that you specifically can give that may ...


228

I have been through this and at the time I still thought I was 12 feet tall and bullet-proof. I didn't listen to the signs and ended up destroying my health, my career, and my family. I hope I have your attention at this point because your situation is almost EXACTLY the same as mine was, right down to the miscarriage. Here's what you need to do: Take a ...


145

You must make an ironclad rule that if a person commits code that breaks the build, the commit is instantly reverted and that person's work is not completed. If you don't have the authority to make and enforce such a rule, then you must convince the party who does have that authority. Document completely the actual costs of breaking the build. Until this ...


132

In short, no, you should not remove an account number or refuse pay. You must be doing something right, because if you were really doing a bad job, you would be fired. It is understandable to feel like you aren't doing any good work or you are burned out, but the ultimate decision on how you are performing comes down to the company. If you really need ...


84

Go talk to a doctor or psychologist. Apart form this advice, do not listen to people on the internet saying things you should do Burnout is a serious affliction, not to be taken lightly.Your brain is overworked and things have broken down. This does not need to be permanent but it could be if you do not take care. That is not to say you have the full ...


77

Two issues. Your taxes and quitting. ...it's been more than 5 months of overtime money that has not been paid and there are no benefits whatsoever, sometimes the salary can be late. [...] And I did not sign any contract when I was told that I was a permanent employee, only verbal statements and congratulations. If you are in the United ...


76

Employees should not suffer from bad management, unrealistic deadlines or an understaffed environment. Your team is probably suffering from this. Imagine if you had to build a pyramid and normally you're whipped 100 times a day but because the Pharaoh wants it to be ready very soon you have to spend twice the amount of time being bullied around and get ...


69

It should be easy if you put forth the right mindset. You know that it will be over soon, so nothing should bother you. Therefore, with all the concerns of corporate BS being gone, you can focus on the work as it is literally the only thing that matters now. At the risk of sounding grim, many people who have a terminal illness can become very positive ...


50

In this case, feel absolutely free Loyalty demands a certain amount of reciprocity, i.e. the employer must treat you reasonably. Being overworked, having lousy project management (getting that far behind is the evidence of that), not getting paid for overtime, sometimes not getting paid until late, and being unable to sleep all each individually qualify as ...


46

With respect to getting management to act it's helpful to quantify the problem in relevant terms (money is best, time is also acceptable). For example: Change 123 broke the system, resulting in X hours of downtime and costing us $Y in lost revenue. Change 456 created bugs that upset Big Customer (costing them $ etc.). Big Customer is now reconsidering their ...


45

Any software project that requires a year of work of a single individual before any deliverable or production staging is made is fundamentally misplanned and mismanaged. In the future, if you find yourself doing more than a couple of weeks of individual contributor work without some sort of stakeholder validation or control feedback treat it as a red flag ...


39

may I resign in the middle of this project? The answer to this question is always "Yes" There is never a good time to resign, it will always be an inconvenience of one kind or another. However, that inconvenience is not your problem; your problem is that your employment arrangement is no longer convenient for you. The project status is your employer's ...


36

I'm stuck in a dead-end web developer job where I don't get paid much and rarely get to learn anything new. Software developers are in such high demand right now that there is really no reason why you or any other developer should stay at a low-paying or miserable job. Keep an eye out for job openings in your area or wherever you are willing to move. If ...


35

How can I politely ask my employer not to give it to me until I feel that I have improved? Chances are good that's illegal. I'm not a lawyer, or even an HR person, but there are state laws governing pay, including how often they're required to pay you. They can't just decide to not pay you. Any decent company would not want their reputation tied to this ...


30

Financially, their hands are tied and if they could hire additional programmers to help, they would. It is very likely in a month or two we will be in a much better financial situation but I just... can't push myself to keep going. No. Just No. Even small companies are not tied up that way. If it is very probable that the company is better off in one or ...


29

Be honest, but put the best face on that honesty. For example: "I achived a lot at company X over those three years and then decided I needed a break. I took some time off to work on some passion projects and refresh my technical skills. Now I'm ready to take on a new challenge, and that's where you come in!" This is saying the same thing as "I burned ...


28

You taking time off is an idea that your boss thinks is great in theory, but in practice she is never going to suggest you take a particular day or week off. You will need to suggest it. I don't recommend demanding as a first strategy. Look back over the last year. Is there a pattern of lulls? For example, after a major project is pushed out? After a year ...


28

There is a very plain and simple fact here: You can't go on like this. That's a fact. There's no need to discuss it. Any answer that I could give you or that you could give yourself that ignores this fact is pointless. So that's the starting point. (There is the alternative that you kill yourself by going on in your job like you do now; I won't consider that)...


24

This is probably going to sound harsh but here it is: Regarding your family: "I feel like I'm short changing them." You are. There is no nice way to sugarcoat this. You have overextended yourself at work, and your family is most definitely losing out because of it. You are so burned out that you are barely able to keep your self together, and in this ...


23

Get examples of other things the previous manager did and mitigate the issues. Don't just do the opposite, but try to get to the root problem. If the problem was artificial goals; get them involved with the setting of goals and schedule. If it was too many hours each week; increase the breadth and depth of the team, that will ease the burden on each team ...


22

I - like yourself - experience panic attacks under similar circumstances, and often feel like I have nowhere else to go and cannot do anything to overcome it. I agree with the other posters that seeking help from a mental health professional is a good idea, and is something I myself do. You may not find the right person straight away, but don't despair - if ...


22

The market seems to be valuing you higher than you think you're worth. You should take the money. First, it's odd to reject compensation. You will raise red flags with management. It's just strange behavior. Second, it's not unethical to decline compensation but you will set a terrible precedent. They will remember this and may decide not to offer ...


22

So, the job is really a perfect fit for me. But the low salary really started to nag on me. How can I get a higher salary without loosing the job opportunity? If the salary isn't what you need/want, then the job isn't a perfect fit. Wait until the end of your current contract. Then, if an extension is offered, indicate the salary you require in order ...


21

And are there strategies I can use to recover from what I described above without having to take extended time off or call in 'sick' ? If you are indeed burnt out, then you absolutely need to take time off. Whether you take it as vacation or sick time is irrelevant, if you do not rest then things will spiral downward. If I were you I would, seek the help ...


20

Right, so first thing's first: you ask whether the location distinguishes this from a "normal" crunch but that's hardly the only thing. Crunch time has different meanings in different industries but even in sectors where crunch time is common like game development, 16 (plus?!) hour workdays are completely insane. There are dozens of valid ...


20

TL;DR: You can improve your motivation by addressing your burnout Hopefully you will get a new job tomorrow, but in case it takes more than a few days (it may be weeks or longer), you need to also work on fixing your burnout to protect and repair your physical and emotional health. Doing so will help you continue to work to the best of your ability in your ...


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